Let me love you

7

Mary had spent most of the day outside with the wranglers, not wanting to be in the stuffy lodge. "What's going on with you?" Llyod asked Mary curiously as they stood outside a pen watching the men work on roping. Mary looked up at Lloyd and sighed. "He's destroying his family for the sake of this damn land," she said quietly. She noticed Rip glance over at her once she said that, as he was standing only a few feet away. Lloyd let out a puff of air and shook his head. "He's always had his priorities messed up- even when Evelyn was still alive. It just got worse afterwards." Mary felt her heart twinge upon hearing that. She wished John would see he had the whole world in his hands. "You don't always have to fight," she said softly. Rip shuffled closer so he stood on the other side of her. "Here you do. You know that, Mary. There ain't no other choice. Maybe you just need to help him realize that there is more to fight for than just this land. Don't give up on him. You're an important asset to this place too." Mary let out a breath and gave Rip a small smile before gently resting her hand on his arm. "Thanks, honey." She turned to walk away and saw Beth walking down towards where she was coming from. Beth stopped when she saw Mary. "You going to that dinner tonight?" Beth asked. Mary's mouth fell slightly open in shock from forgetting about it. "I completely forgot. What time is it?" Mary looked at Beth worried. "Almost four. You better start getting ready. You ain't catching me stepping foot in that place. Have fun, lord knows you need a good time." Beth smirked and walked off. Mary started rushing up to the house and into her room to get ready. She knew John was speaking at the event and this was a big deal for him so of course she was going to go. Unfortunately, no one else was going to show up for him. Mary was ready to go by five. She walked downstairs, silently praying he hadn't left without her. She saw John pacing in front of the fireplace, his jacket in his hands, his fingers twiddling with the fabric anxiously. "Are you ready?" She asked softly as she stood near one of the couches. John stopped and looked at her. He felt his heart swell at the sight of her. "Mary," he said softly. He felt his throat constrict with emotion, fearing that she wasn't going to come tonight. Mary hated the look on his face. "I wasn't going to let you go alone." She walked over to him. "I'm sorry, Mary. I'm trying, honey." She held his arms gently once his hands found her hips. "Everything will be alright. We'll figure it out- together." She leaned up and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. John looked down at her. "You look beautiful." She smiled, "you clean up pretty good too." John chuckled and glanced at his watch. "We gotta get going if we're going to make it on time." They got in his truck and began the drive in a comfortable silence. Things took a turn as tourists were on the Dutton's property sightseeing a wild bear. Mary remained in the truck while John took care of the situation. They finally arrived to the event space and found their table. People were constantly coming up to John to say hello and to conversate. John never failed to introduce her to everyone and keep her near him. She felt special, how could she not? John was a very good looking man and she was aware of the many women who have thrown themselves at him over the years. Once it was time for them to find their seats, Mary felt her heart hurt at all the empty seats at their table- seats that his children were meant to fill. Mary looked over at John and reached for his hand. He squeezed it and brought it up to his lips. "Jamie was supposed to be here. He's supposed to be earning his vote." Mary sighed knowing he was yet again disappointing his father, the man who has given him everything. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "Don't be, honey. His actions are no one else's fault but his own, you understand? I don't tell you this to make you upset." Mary nodded, "I know," she replied. He kissed her hand once more before he went to go say the prayer. Dinner passed by and soon it was time for dancing. John had went to get himself a drink. He came back with a glass of wine for Mary. "I think you earned this after the week you've had," he teased. Mary smiled softly and took it. "You're a hard man to live with John Dutton." She took a sip of the wine before John was wooshing her to the dance floor. They had a good time together, something they both greatly needed. Mary knew she loved him deeply. She was willing to stick by him no matter what, but she did want to see some change. When they arrived home, Mary went to go change while John grabbed a drink and waited on the front porch. Mary came back out as Jamie's car pulled up. As soon as Jamie's car door swung open, John was standing. Mary felt the disappointment radiating off of John. "John," she said softly and reached for his arm, but it was no use. "Where the hell have you been?! You were supposed to be at the dinner! You were supposed to be campaigning for votes!" Mary stood at the top of the porch stairs, a sense of dread rolling over her. She had such a wonderful night with John, she didn't want this to ruin it. "What are you talking about? I've been campaigning! Besides, we already have those votes!" John scoffed. "I wouldn't be so sure. There's a shift happening, I can feel it and Lynelle won't listen to me." John looked at Jamie. "Where's your sister?" He asked, wanting to know why she wasn't there either. Jamie scoffed, "pick a bar, dad." Mary sighed and watched as Jamie walked up past her to go inside. He gave her a small "night" as she passed. Mary sighed and looked at John. Rip walked over to them. "I found her, sir." He motioned over towards one of the pens where she was riding the stallion with the new ranch hand. Mary felt so proud to see her back on the horse. Her night had gone back to being good so with that she went inside and made herself a cup of tea before taking back her place of sleeping beside John.
John had some follow up tests to go do but he was insistent on Mary staying home. After an hour argument over the matter, she gave up. "He's the most stubborn man I've ever met," she told Beth as they sat in the kitchen. She had made them lunch. Beth snorted, "that must be where us kids get it from." Mary cracked a smile upon hearing that. Beth then turned serious. "I want to tell you something," she said. Mary sat her fork down and looked at Beth worried. "What is it?" She asked. Beth took a swig from her drink before talking again. "The night of the dinner, I was thinking about what happened on Christmas one year. It was 1996 and it was the first time I had ever gotten my period. My mother told me that everything was going to be different now and she wasn't wrong- but what she said after has always stuck with me. She promised me that she was going to be extremely hard on me, but it was to turn me into the strongest version of myself. And I hated the way she treated me compared to my brothers. But, you don't treat me like that- you don't treat any of us differently. You're not our mother, but you sure act like it. You've always tried to understand me and let me know that it's okay to not always be the roughest version of myself. I- the reason I got on that horse the other night was because of you. I'm starting to heal from what happened with my mother. I know you stick up for me in private with my father and I want to thank you. He is a stubborn man and I'm glad he has you- I'm glad we all have you." Mary felt her heart burst with love for the young woman in front of her and she couldn't help but be teary eyed. "I'm so proud of you," she said softly and pulled Beth into her arms. That's when John walked in with Tate. "Well, I don't think I would have dreamt this up in a month of Sundays." Mary rolled her eyes and turned to see Tate with him. "When did you get Tate? I thought you were at the hospital." Tate walked over to give Mary a hug then looked at Beth. "Who are you?" He asked. Mary was shocked that the two had never met. She heard John groan quietly and she saw him clutching the counter. "John?" She asked worried. He shook his head and walked out of the room. "Watch your nephew," Mary told Beth before going upstairs after John. She found him leaned over their bathroom toilet. She froze when she saw the blood in the toilet and the trail of it on his chin. "John," she breathed out as she fell to her knees beside him. She quickly cupped his face. "I'm fine, darlin." He patted her hands. His eyes and the pale tint of his skin told her otherwise. "What did the doctor say?" She asked worried. "Didn't say nothin. Waiting on my test results." Mary felt anxiety consume her at the thought that his cancer could be back. "John," she whispered worried, not able to stop the tears brimming her eyes. John sighed and wiped his mouth before flushing the toilet. "I'll be just fine. I ain't going anywhere yet." "I hope not," she pleaded as she helped him stand up. "I promise I ain't leaving you yet. I give you my word." He cupped her face and stared into her eyes with a serious expression. Her tense shoulders relaxed slightly as she gazed into his eyes. She just nodded, not able to say anything in that moment except a quiet, "I love you." A small smile graced John's face. "I love you too," he whispered before placing a kiss to her forehead.