my Endless Blue

∞ Track #12: Borderline

"Be a good boy and go inside now. I won't leave until you do." Hindi ko man ginusto, wala akong nagawa nang nagpumilit siyang ihatid na naman ako dito sa amin. Ang worry ko kasi eh mag-isa lang siya ngayon unlike last time. As an overthinker, naisip kong baka antukin siya mamaya habang nagda-drive at kung ano pa ang mangyari sa kanya. Pero kailan ba ko nakatanggi sa gusto niya? Hayyyy. So here we were.

"You really don't want to sleep with me here?"

"Uhm, Mielie?" Bakas sa mukha niya ang labis na pagkabigla.

At doon ko na-realize na sobrang mali ng sinabi ko. That sounded wrong on so many levels!!! AGHHHHHHH! Sh*t sh*t sh*t! T*ngina ano bang pumasok sa isip ko? Hinayufuq!

"OMG! Ano — a-ang ibig kong s-sabihin eh..." Hindi tuloy ako makatingin sa kanya nang maayos. Hindi rin ako mapakali. Kumalma ka gurl. Juskopo! Napalunok ako nang wala sa oras at binasa-basa ng laway ang labi bago muling nagsalita. "Uhhh. What I really meant was... a-ano kasi—" Hayup ang sabaw ng utak ko gagi. OMGGG!

"Hey, look at me. I get what you meant. Don't worry about it." I then looked at him. When our eyes met, he gave me a reassuring smile. Sigh. What a relief... "But as much as I want to spend the night at your house, I'd have to leave instead. Got an early morning schedule later. Don't really want to make Kuya Ynan wait for a long time... I appreciate the offer though, Mielie. Maybe next time?"

"Okay, sige. Just please take care on your way to Manila. Drive safely." Nahihiya kong paalala sa kanya.

"I will if that's what you want. So go inside now."

"Opo, papasok na... Good mornight! And thank you again for today, Miah. Maraming salamat." I smiled at him while doing mini waves with my hands. Naglakad na ako papasok ng aming gate habang nakalingon sa kanya.

"Anytime... And likewise, thank you for spending time with me. Got that much needed recharge." He gave me a fond smile as he kept his eyes on me. He raised his right hand for a wave as he saw me enter our front door.

I soon found myself in my room, kneeling down in front of my cabinet. Oo nga pala... I had milktea earlier. At sobra akong nag-enjoy during dinner. I know it's my fault pero sana naman — please lang talaga... "Thoughts" started creeping up on me.

I was about to pull the last drawer of my cabinet when my phone vibrated in my pocket. So, I stopped and quickly checked what was up. I saw 1 notification — Messages: 1 unread message.

Jeremiah ♡

1Day : 1Miah Entry #3

Did you know?
When you're happy to see me
My heart flutters
When our eyes meet
My heart pounds
And when I see you smile brightly
My hearts melts

I'm so lucky to have met you...

Next thing I knew, I was bawling my eyes out. What did I even do to receive such compliments from someone like Miah? I wasn't even sure if I deserve the attention he'd been giving me. But you know what? It felt so good and overwhelming at the same time. It got me thinking — why was I worrying so much when he sees me this way... I should just let everything go, right? I mean... As long as I have him, everything would be fine. So, the only validation that'd matter was his.

All at once, I didn't need that f*cking device tonight. For the first time in a very long while, I slept without checking how much I weighed. Ang sarap sa pakiramdam. Sana lagi na lang ganito...

•───────•°• ꒰ა∞໒꒱•°•───────•

It'd been over a week? Not sure anymore. But Miah and I had been spending a LOT of time together. And when we weren't together, he'd still find time to text or call me so there'd not even a day when I wouldn't get the chance to talk to him. Not that I'm complaining, I'm really happy to spend time with him (I wouldn't miss it for the world!), pero kasi mas lalo lang akong nagiging assuming sa kung ano ba talaga ang meron kaming dalawa.