The Bad Guys: Can Criminals Change?(Fanfic)

Chapter 1: Another Bank...

Scene opens on an unassuming diner. Mr. Wolf is shown stirring a cup of Coffee with a spoon. A Newspaper called the City Times displays the headline "Meteorite on Display at the Gala for Goodness" We also see another smaller segment below talking about a recent heist pulled by the notorious crooks "The Bad Guys."

Mr. Snake: Stop.

Mr. Wolf: I'lI stop if you please explain it to me, because I don't-

Mr. Snake: Would you please just drop it?

Mr. Wolf: All right, all right, fine, fine, fine. It's dropped. Consider it dropped. It's on the ground.

Mr. Snake: Good.

Mr. Wolf: (sips Coffee) But, I mean, come on. Everybody loves Birthdays. You got decorations, you got balloons, you got parties and cake.

Mr. Snake: Look, I don't need presents, I don't want decorations, and I'm not a cake guy.

Mr. Wolf: Seriously though, you don't like Cake? Name one food better than Cake.

Mr. Snake: Guinea Pig.

Mr. Wolf: Ugh. Again with the Guinea Pig. (Chuckles) I bet if I blindfolded you, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a Skunk and a Guinea Pig.

Mr. Snake: Wrong. Snakes have impeccable taste buds. I can taste air.

Mr. Wolf: Air?!

Mr. Snake: Yes. Air. (slurps the air around him) Nice.

Mr. Wolf: I don't know. They're a little, uh, a little cute for my taste.

Mr. Snake: That's what makes them so delicious. You're not just eating food, you're eating pure goodness. It's not about the Pig. It's about what it symbolizes on a deeper level.

Mr. Wolf: So...you can taste Air?

Mr. Snake just sighs as Mr. Wolf keeps joking about the subject,

Mr. Wolf: What else you got?

Mr. Snake: Forget about it.

Mr. Wolf: Can you also hear Color? (chuckles) Can you see sound? 'Cause we should really be capitalizing on these skills!

Mr. Snake: Okay, all right, fine. Get it all out. Get it all out now.

(Mr. Snake spits up a Clock)

Mr. Snake: Look at that. 4:00 PM. Now I know the exact moment our friendship died.

Mr. Wolf: (laughs) Let's bounce.

Mr. Snake: Yep. (swallows clock again)

(They both get out of their booth. Camera pans to show several terrified diner patrons huddled in the corner.)

Mr. Wolf: Tastes like you're gonna stick me with the bill again.

Mr. Snake: Well, it is my birthday.

Mr. Wolf: So now you play the birthday card? That's interesting.

(They walk up to an empty counter.)

Mr. Wolf: Can we get a check, please, when you get a chance?

(No response)

Mr. Wolf: (leaning over) Hello? Checkity-check-check. You know what? We're just gonna leave the money right here. Okay?

(He pulls some money out of his coat and leaves it on the counter before also putting some in the tip jar.)

Mr. Snake: You know the one good thing about this place?

Mr. Wolf: What?

Mr. Snake: We never have to wait for a table.