The sun was setting as Remy Ma pulled into the parking lot of the therapist's office. She cut the engine and sat there for a moment, staring at the modest building in front of her. She'd been through plenty in her life—prison, public scrutiny, and personal battles—but the idea of opening up to a stranger about her deepest fears and frustrations felt like an entirely different kind of challenge.
She took a deep breath and pushed the car door open. As she stepped inside, the receptionist greeted her with a warm smile, but Remy's eyes were focused straight ahead. She wasn't here to make friends; she was here to find some kind of peace, if that was even possible.
A few minutes later, the therapist—Dr. Hayes—appeared at the door. She was a woman in her late forties, with a kind face framed by graying hair. Her presence was calming, almost maternal, but Remy wasn't ready to let her guard down just yet.
"Remy," Dr. Hayes said with a nod, "it's nice to meet you. Come on in."
Remy followed her into a cozy office, with soft lighting and comfortable furniture. She took a seat on the couch, her posture stiff and defensive. Dr. Hayes sat across from her, her expression open and patient.
"This is your time, Remy," Dr. Hayes began, her voice calm and steady. "We can go at your pace. How are you feeling about being here today?"
Remy hesitated, her eyes flicking to the window. "I don't really know," she admitted, her voice rough. "I ain't used to this kinda thing...talking about my feelings and all that."
"That's completely understandable," Dr. Hayes replied. "This isn't easy, and it takes a lot of courage to even walk through that door. But it's okay to feel unsure or uncomfortable. We can start with whatever you feel ready to share."
There was a long pause as Remy considered her words. She could feel her chest tightening, the familiar stirrings of anxiety that always came when she felt vulnerable. But Andrea's voice echoed in her mind, reminding her that she didn't have to face this alone.
"I guess...I guess I'm just tired," Remy finally said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Tired of always feeling like I'm about to explode. Like...I'm stuck in this cycle of anger, and I don't know how to break out of it."
Dr. Hayes nodded, leaning in slightly. "That's a powerful insight, Remy. Anger can be overwhelming, especially when it feels like it's controlling you instead of the other way around. Have you thought about what might be behind that anger?"
Remy shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "I don't know," she said, but the truth was, she did know—at least partially. She thought about her childhood, growing up in a rough neighborhood, always having to be tough to survive. She thought about the betrayals she'd endured, the constant pressure to prove herself, the fear of being seen as weak.
"It's just...a lot, I guess," she continued, her voice thickening. "I've been through a lot, and sometimes it feels like all that pain just comes out as anger. Like if I don't stay mad, I'll fall apart."
Dr. Hayes gave her a compassionate look. "It's not uncommon to use anger as a shield, to protect yourself from feeling hurt or vulnerable. But it sounds like that shield is starting to weigh you down. Maybe, together, we can start to unpack some of that pain, so it doesn't have to control you anymore."
Remy swallowed hard, feeling a lump forming in her throat. This was harder than she'd imagined. But something about Dr. Hayes's words resonated with her. She wasn't just angry—she was hurting. And maybe, just maybe, it was time to start healing.
The rest of the session was intense but enlightening. They talked about her past, about the moments that had shaped her into the person she was today. There were tears—more than Remy had shed in years—but there was also a sense of relief, like a weight she hadn't even realized she was carrying had started to lift.
