Lost In The Storm

Chapter 2: Mother Knows Best

Mother's are supposed to stick by their children through thick and thin. They work tirelessly to make them happy and put the children's needs before their own.

My mom was like that....but we sure did have our fights.

Every single day she would pick me up after extended day..and we would go straight to fighting about anything.

A majority of our fights came from grades..I could never focus and I kept failing every single test or quiz.

Everytime the room was silent during a test, I would hear a bunch of noises in my head distracting me.

I would hear classmates tapping their pencils, the clock ticking, and I would focus on everyone getting up since they finished before me.

I wanted to show that I was smart because I felt bad that everyone else was able to finish before me. No matter how much time I would take I always managed to fail each time.

Loneliness was the biggest thing I had to face in my childhood. It is still the biggest feeling I continue to get.

Everytime I saw a stuffed animal I would beg for it and soon enough my bed was full of them. Stuffed animals filled that void I have always had..I know it's silly but it's the truth..

My mom soon realized and instead of just taking my phone like other people she would take the animals I mainly treasured. I didn't care if she even took my phone...I only cared about the animals.

I had a hard time sleeping without them and I could never stop crying.

I would get grounded every single weekend so I couldn't hang with any friends or do anything outside of my room. It was all because of my performance in school.

This continued on from kindergarten to my third grade year. My mom decided to get me checked out after I explained to her what goes through my head during tests and quizzes.

The doctor diagnosed me with ADHD and they then looked into medicine for me.

I hated...no I despised ADHD medicine. Believe it or not I lost plenty of friends to it too.

Sometimes the medicine helped but a lot of the time it didn't. It constantly changed my personality..I turned from a very energetic and playful kid to a quiet and reserved kid who wanted nothing to do with anybody.

It cost plenty of friendships till eventually I got used to it.

When I was young my dream was to go to the Julliard school in New York. It is a very expensive college that is really difficult to get in. It revolved around music, dance, and instruments.

I was only nine of course I had a dream. My mom told me I would never be able to make it in music and that I wouldn't ever last in New York. She said it so many times that I started to believe it.

I gave up on that dream and just focused on getting better at singing. I was stupid for ever thinking I could make it in New York right?

Since I was little the one name I was always called was "Bitch." Not by my friends, but by my parents. They have been calling me that since I was nine and still do.

That's how they got me to back down from arguments since I was always so hardheaded.

There was something called "AR testing." For those who don't know what that is, it's when you read books and take quizzes on them.

My 2nd grade teacher would never let me in on the class lessons because I struggled with reading.

Every single day for seven hours a day, I would be in the corner reading book after book. All different genres like history, fantasy, action and many more.

While all of my classmates and friends got to learn I was reading. It doesn't sound that bad...but it is when you are only a kid, you have ADHD and can't sit, and you can't read that well either.

Not to mention having to sit still for that long distracted by everything else around you.

I remember one day when my mother picked me up I realized I forgot some AR books in the classroom. My mother was not happy...she took me upstairs of the school to retrieve them.

She had been mad plenty of times but this time she was so mad she told me she wants to strangle me.

Me being only seven I asked her what "strangle" meant. She told me it meant to choke someone to death and told me not to tell anybody to avoid problems.

As usual I kept my word and never told anybody. There isnt anything anybody can do about it now...so it doesn't really matter.

I never listened to what people tell me..I always did what I wanted to. Not going to lie I mainly did that to get on people's nerves.

One time my dad told me to stop because I was throwing my clothes out of my drawer. I looked at him with a smirk and did it again right in front of him. That's usually how it went with me.

My mom always made sure that I knew I had to change my lifestyle..I have always been a bit overweight but I couldn't help it. I turned to food to cope with her and other issues..

I am a major horror fan and always have been. That's one thing I got to do with my dad. There was this horror convention we would go to every single year.

One year he ended up needing his gallbladder removed and so he couldn't take me. My mother took me to the convention that year.

I love horror but I especially have always had a fascination with Chucky! I don't know what it is but I ended up spending two hundred on a Chucky doll when I was fifteen and still have it.

That day I got to meet Alex Vincent, the man who played Andy in "Childs Play". I got to get an autograph and a photo with him it was awesome...until my mom happened.

My mother talks a lot she never lets others get a chance so she talked to him more than I did. She actually showed embarrassing photos and stories about me to him.

You could clearly see how uncomfortable he was from my mom. I then got her away from him and went crying in the bathroom. I will never forget the embarrassment that day.

  I talked to her about it and she told me to get over it and grow up.

  That was her favorite thing to tell me whenever I didn't agree with her..or confronted her

Regardless of everything that has happened with my mom I still love her. Always have and I always will.