When You Were Here // Kuroken

Why Are You Here

It was sometime in the middle of the night. Kenma had fallen asleep somewhere between sulking and replaying his memory. The haziness of just waking mixed with the glassy night sky outside his room's window made him lightheaded. Tylenol, where was the Tylenol?

Nausea churned around as he swallowed down the pills he found lying on top of a pile of manga he hadn't bothered to read since Kuroo left. They went down hard, and he wanted to throw them up immediately after ingesting them. Fuck, what time even was it? He couldn't find his phone, and cursed, not yet fully awake.

He hit his foot on something with a sharp edge and cried out in pain, before looking for the item that caused his agony. He pulled up a picture frame, before he carried it over to his bed where he looked around for his phone, finally just resorting to turning on his lamp.

His throat caught at the photo that stared back at him. It was the picture they had taken together at Kuroo's graduation. He'd been so scared to see Kuroo go off into University, but he had felt very proud of the bedhead. Kuroo promised he'd still visit from time-to-time. That never happened. Kenma felt the little photo frame slip from his hands and land on the floor with a shattering sound somewhere on the floor.

The tears were falling around him but he could barely register a single feeling. He felt like he was slowly drifting out of his body. He was yanking his shoes on, scrawling notes too erratic for him to remember, and running down the streets of his neighborhood. Streetlamps cast the streets in a strange orange glow, sensations now only blurs in his racing mind, pumped full of adrenaline. The buildings grew longer, stretching out in a dizzy foyer of neverending residence. Then he stood stark still.

It was still the same as it always had been all those years they had spent there. The park he and Kuroo always practiced at or came to for a reset. It was dark, lit only by light of the moon and stars, but Kenma knew how to navigate the vast space, destination the only clear thing in his mind.

His breath came out in tense huffs, and his heart palpitated to match. The ground was blurry from where he stood perched several dozen feet from the bottom. But after how long he'd been suffering, his memories haunting him, he felt no regrets, no second thoughts. He took a breath, and stepped up onto the metal railing, ignoring its purpose of safety and restraint.

He wobbled, and his entire world came crashing in on him. School, friends, volleyball, Kuroo... everything was now one big rush of life being drained out of him all at once. He didn't say last goodbyes or contemplate his choice in a regretful second thought. No. He didn't hesitate as he veered with the shifting weight of leaning over. Over the edge of the world.

"Not so fast, Kitten."

His world stopped careening, and his thoughts started to instead. There was no way he heard what he just did. Something yanked at the collar of his shirt. He fell backwards into someone's arms. This couldn't be happening. Logically, it was not. He had to be hallucinating. Maybe he was still dreaming.

He hoped he was still dreaming. He found his feet back on solid ground. He couldn't turn. He wouldn't look. He was crazy. But when he looked up, he in fact saw Kuroo Tetsuro.

His dead boyfriend.