When I woke the next morning everyone had left already, to continue celebrating before we had to enter our fear landscapes. The last test was in a few days but it was far from my mind.Instead, I gazed up at the stone ceiling and pondered the events of last night.I wasn't really sure I knew exactly what had happened, but I did know within some semblance, I understood the pleasure that had wracked my body was a sexual act but truthfully we'd never had anyone tell us about it. It was supposed to be your caregiver's job to let you know of all the things you might go through once you reach certain ages, but my mother despite being Candor and very honest, still held scars from her time being dismissed, she rarely spoke, when she did it was only truth but I could probably count on one hand the number of times we actually conversed in the year leading up to my choosing. I'd had to learn certain things the hard way and while I didn't necessarily mind adapting to the situation, I figured I'd better ask Kali about it sooner or later. I brush my hand between my legs and hiss at the strange feeling. Sooner, sooner was good. I didn't torture myself with too many thoughts on the events of last night, logically I knew Eric
had been full of adrenalin and probably feeling the strange tension I had, it was unlikely to happen again, Eric was usually so it was only truth but I could probably count on one hand the number of times we actually conversed in the year leading up to my choosing.
I'd had to learn certain things the hard way and while I didn't necessarily mind adapting to the situation, I figured I'd better ask Kali about it sooner or later. I brush my hand between my legs
and hiss at the strange feeling. Sooner, sooner was good. I didn't torture myself with too many thoughts on the events of last night, logically I knew Eric
had been full of adrenalin and probably feeling the strange tension I had, it was unlikely to happen again, Eric was usually so composed and in control, I didn't doubt that he wasn't in control last night but it was a different more unhinged side of him, which I suspected he kept a stronghold on. I finally pushed myself from the bed and went to shower and join my friends. Everyone tended to sneak showers in whenever the barracks might be empty, it rarely was, but we all seemed to like the privacy but I had to have it, the scars on my arms had pretty much healed but the white tissue was still a stark contrast from my tinted pink skin. I looked down at them now, with the water pouring over my back, they were ugly and crude, a picture illustrating a violent event, but they were strangely beautiful in their own way as well, the scarred skin looked almost like the jagged rock that had torn into it. The shower shut off and I stepped out shrugging on a black turtleneck and my usual jeans. I went looking for my friends in the pit first, they weren't there but I got some food before heading to the training room. I eventually found them in the bar from last night and was immediately pulled onto Cassius's lap.
I scowled and was fully intending on socking him right in the groin but he had predicted that and shoved me off the minute after he pulled me down. I glared up at him from the ground.
"Asshole." Cassius sniggered and Brad extended an arm to help me up. I smiled in thanks and sat on my own seat, they had pulled a few into one of the more secluded sections of the cavern, forming a circle so we could all talk to each other composed and in control, I didn't doubt that he wasn't in control last night but it was a different more unhinged side of him, which I suspected he kept a stronghold on. I finally pushed myself from the bed and went to shower and join my friends. Everyone tended to sneak showers in whenever the barricades might be empty, it rarely was, but we all seemed to like the privacy but I had to have it, the scars on my arms had pretty much healed but the white tissue was still a stark contrast from my tinted pink skin. I looked down at them now, with the water pouring over my back, they were ugly and crude, a picture illustrating a violent event, but they were strangely beautiful in their own way as well, the scarred skin looked almost like the jagged rock that had torn into it. The shower shut off and I stepped out shrugging on a black turtleneck and my usual jeans. I went looking for my friends in the pit first, they weren't there but I got some food before heading to the training room. I eventually found them in the bar from last night and was immediately pulled onto Cassius's lap.
I scowled and was fully intending on socking him right in the groin but he had predicted that and shoved me off the minute after he pulled me down. I glared up at him from the ground.
"Asshole." Cassius sniggered and Brad extended an arm to help me up. I smiled in thanks and sat on my own seat, they had pulled a few into one of the more secluded sections of the cavern, forming a circle so we could all talk to each other. "So-" Delphi began, "What do you think?" Clearly I had missed something.
I shot Kali a confused expression as everyone else gave a yay or nay and she quickly
recapped. "Delphi wants to play 20 questions, she thinks we aren't friends if we don't know each other's favourite colours."
The words caused Delphi to protest, "That's not what I said, but fine I guess the pillow I'm getting for your birthday won't be a gorgeous sea green." She gave a fake sigh and Kali snorted. Brad decided to kick it off, apparently ignoring Kali and Talea's vocal disapproval. "Persie-"
"-Oh god, why me?" I frowned at him.
Archie smirked, "'Cause you were Candor, probably best to start the game truthfully." I gave him the finger in response and he laughed.
Brad ignored us and asked his question, apparently, everyone went in a circle asking a question rather than just straight 20. "-What's your favourite colour?"
"Red," I answered instantly. Cassius went next. Most of the questions were dumb and easy to answer and it actually was fun in a silly kind of way. We moved to ask Kali questions next and then onto Talea. We came full circle and Delphi piped in with a question to me right away, apparently remembering something she'd forgotten to ask, "When's your birthday." Yeah, that was one of the popular questions, unfortunately for her, I didn't have an answer.
"I don't know." That seemed to stop all of them in their tracks. It had never bothered me, my father certainly never told me the day I was born and I never celebrated it with my mother. I knew the school had my medical records but I didn't even know if they knew.
Archie voiced his confusion, "What? Why?"
I shrugged going for a half-truth not wanting to spoil the atmosphere with mentions of my father,
"Mum never celebrated or talked about it, just wasn't a thing for me I guess."
"Well, that's unacceptable." That was Delphi.
Archie looked thoughtful, "Dauntless records could probably tell you."
I shrugged unbothered, "I don't really need to know, it's probably already passed anyway."
Kali raised an eyebrow, "It comes around every year stupid."
I retaliated by kicking her chair away from Talea and moving my own in the spot. "Who's stupid now, stupid." She snarled jumping on top of her seat and quite literally launching herself at me, we crashed to the floor and began rolling trying to pin the other, Archie remained firmly planted in his own spot refusing to move as we came dangerously close to him, while Cassius and Brad shifted away from the fight. It ended with Kali locking me in a hold against a table and us both grinning. That was fun, not quite the same as a violent fight but surprisingly just as rewarding. Unfortunately, our fight drew a bit of attention and after being egged on by the growing crowd we crouched ready to make it a real fight. The unfortunate part was when the blonde from before promptly kicked us out, tutting at our devilish forms.
I laughed and decided to take Kali rock climbing again. She had promised and the others refused to leave the bar we were not allowed back into. The climb was nice and I was glad when my previous fear of heights didn't return.
We separated when I went to go visit Kevin, claiming I'd been fobbing him off for too long, she went to find Talea but made me promise to have dinner with them as we had found out it was actually Brad's birthday today and we were going to celebrate, hopefully in the bar, we were kicked out of.
ooOOooOOoo
Kevin's door opened and he looked me up and down as though checking to see if I'd headed his warning not to enter the Trench arena. I walked past him as he held open the door and made my way to our training room. "Hey, Kevy, Sorry I've not been around-" I opted for honesty with Kevin, I tended not to lie to him "I was a little worried about walking down here with Thaddeus and all... but I think it's fine now."
He nodded, accepting the answer even though he probably didn't understand what I meant by Thaddeus, besides being aware he was in my sim's I hadn't talked about him much. "Do you
wish to practice today, little one?"
I nodded. "Yes please, if you're not busy."
"I kept this time free for you always little Kore." I winced a little feeling bad for my previous no-shows but pushed it down, regret never achieved anything, neither did guilt.
I practised until I checked the time and saw it was 6:37. Shit. "Hey Kev, thanks for the help, but I gotta go now."
He hummed non-commitently and nodded to the door dismissing me. I ran to it and tried not to run but kept my pace brisk, I was already late, I was supposed to be there at 6:30 and it would take me about 7 minutes to make the walk. I encountered Archie along the way who grabbed my shoulders spun me around and began to march us in another direction. "Uh, where are we going?"
"Transfer barracks, you guys still aren't allowed back to the bar yet." I chuckled under my breath and walked forward without resistance. It was a little strange being in the transfer barricades surrounded by other people. Kali immediately claimed my old bed and Cassius pushed a few together so we could sit in a circle. Delphi went over to lock the door and at my questioning look gestured to the bottles of alcohol in the middle, "We can all have some fun so long as we stay in here until the morning." I didn't necessarily like being locked in anywhere but Delphi always watched over us instead of joining in, so if it was what she needed to do to allow herself some fun I didn't protest. The night progressed rather quickly, with Brad getting plastered first.
"-and another thing! Four not teaching you -" He gestured wildly in my direction while I grinned at him, sipping my own drink much slower than he had. "-It's ridiculous, ridiculous I tell you, Faction of the brave not. Not- not. Not...-" He struggled for a minute "-Angry!" Archie gave him a gentle pat on the back, launching Brad into describing yet another flaw in the system we were undergoing. I actually liked listening to the gentle boy explain everything from his point of view, while he was explaining everything wrong he was also providing some very interesting alternatives. He had brought up again how rock climbing or some form of training to climb should be taught in initiation, after all, Dauntless sometimes needed to get into the high apartments of Euridite or Candor within the city, and they weren't very helpful dead from a fall. Brad had also brought up Four's reluctance to teach me more than what the Dauntless initiation entailed. I myself had been thinking long and hard about that, his resistance only made sense when I paired it with his attitude after I mentioned close combat with knives, I remembered he hadn't approved of my fight with Thaddeus and I got the feeling he didn't want me to be even more capable of harm. The thought annoyed me because I hadn't asked for either of those things with bad intentions I had only wanted to protect myself, it shouldn't be up to him to decide how much I am allowed to progress. Although, given Eric's comment from last night in the training room, I gathered he assumed Four was teaching me, and he had been the one to insist I ask Four as he was my trainer. I guessed that meant the actual leadership of Dauntless weren't apposed to initiates learning more than required to pass initiation, which made the decision solidly Fours and entirely frustrating. I always had the option to simply tell Eric or another member of leadership, but I had also had that option after Thaddeus shoved me into the chasm. At the time I hadn't told as I assumed they wouldn't care, but after Max had addressed everyone at the mess hall and I had seen Eric teaching the patrol, I knew that wasn't the case, the leaders of Dauntless were invested in the faction and it felt good knowing that. The reason I didn't go to them now was simply that it felt like a childish thing to do. Thaddeus hadn't attempted it again with myself or any other, it seemed we had gotten even, although I didn't dissuade myself into thinking it was the end of our feud. Telling on Four seemed a great way to get on his bad side even more, as well as it was like telling on another kid for stealing your pencil, pathetic at best. I hadn't done that either. The points Brad made were interesting, while I loved Dauntless it could definitely do with some improvements and while I didn't think I could ever see myself hanging around the next years initiates to implement them, I hoped Brad got into a position where he was able to. The thought caused me to ponder which job I might go into once we passed our fear landscapes. Truthfully I only knew about 3, leadership, patrol, own a parlour. There were subcategories within each section, leadership split into 5 which were headed by the leader's Eric, Max, Harrison, Felicity and Xavier. I still didn't know which parts of dauntless they covered but from Eric's training on the roof, I suspected he had something to do with the patrols. We'd been told it was difficult to change professions once entering them but most jobs allowed a grace apprenticeship slot for about a month, so all the newly fledged Dauntless would learn the
ropes and also ensure they fit into the structure. Patrol had the most options, they were the
Dauntless firefighters, the policing of the factionless sector, guards to the fence and the eliteguards. I had heard of the elite guards by name and not much else, I suspected they dealt with more secretive and delicate issues, or ones that required high amounts of skill and success. I knew it intrigued me and if given the chance I wanted to go there. I looked back over my group of friends and smiled, we had one more day before our last stage of training, no one got cut from the last stage but the rankings dictated who got to choose first. I definitely thought Archie would go into patrol, he was suited for it he'd need the active life, where Archie went I knew Cassius would follow, not that Cassius wouldn't have chosen patrol anyway, it suited him too. I suspected Kali would like to stay more within the walls of Dauntless if only because she liked the atmosphere, I also thought she would do something that gave her a rush, I wasn't sure what that was yet. Talea I didn't know well enough and Delphi I couldn't even begin to guess, all in all, I was pretty confident everyone would go somewhere they would thrive, it was that thought that remained on my mind as I fell asleep. We all belonged in Dauntless and I couldn't wait to see it all pan out. The day of stage three came around far too quickly and far too slowly both at once. I didn't fancy facing all my fears whilst remaining conscious of it, some people like Cassius were relived they would know it wasn't real, I, on the other hand, would be very conscious of the leaders watching, I knew they couldn't see my simulation but still knowing they were watching my reactions was unnerving at best, it certainly didn't help the other initiates were also allowed to watch. I elected not to, I didn't want to see my classmates struggling their fears unable to do anything, it didn't sound like entertainment to me. After a few hours drumming my fingers, I was finally called in. I walked into the room, it was different from the training one, an entire wall was glass allowing the viewers to witness, I didn't look out of it, not caring for their gaze. Instead, I went and sat on the seat unable to stop the clench of my fish but able to mask it with indifference, as though annoyed not afraid. I noticed Four coming over and it only served to put my already tense mind into a darker mood. Great, he's back.
He didn't cup my head like Eric had when he pressed the needle close, it was up to me to remain still and allow it. I would have tried to push down the image of my father it conjured but I would see him in a few seconds anyway so I didn't bother. My eyesight went black before slowly returning, almost like a light dimming. Once it fully returned I sat up to see myself in the same room but it was now devoid of Four. Somehow that was worse, meaning the sim had started I groaned and slumped back drumming my fingers against the side to wait for the inevitable appearance of another, my fear used to just be lying on the chair but as I'd progressed through the training it joined with my father as the seat no longer held the same power over me, I was a little proud of that.
I didn't have to wait long until a clipped voice sounded from behind me. "Trial 4, testing Doloreget serum." I tensed at the voice and went to jump from the seat to face him, I could kill him and the fear would be over but the familiar pull of restrains halted that line of thinking. Heartrate it was. I breathed in slowly as his hand dragged through my hair and tried to ignore it. Dauntless was about acting in the face of fear, so ignoring the thing that made me afraid and focusing on remaining calm was a good way to go. I didn't try and focus on something else, that wasn't the point, in a real situation it would only distract me, I needed to be able to control my fear whilst being aware of it. He continued to rattle off scientific words I couldn't follow, all the while trailing his hand over my skin. It was a sharp contrast, the creepy way he had always touched me and the clinical words he spoke, I didn't ignore it, instead focusing on everything I could analyse about him. My father stepped forward from behind the chair so I could now see him. His eyes were full of fascination but so, so dead, there was nothing, not like the eyes I had seen in the Trench full of passion and fire. My father was in jail but the man before me was also my father, he was the fear of my father I would always retain. I no longer really cared about the sim I was currently participating in, the moment had grown far beyond that, I needed to know I could encounter my father one day and know I would be able to handle it.
He picked up a syringe from a very familiar metal tray and approached me, I maintained eye contact which he ignored but it was important for me, I'd never watched as he dosed me with his latest test, but I watched now. I saw the cold remain and nothing in his face change as he pushed the needle into my neck and I breathed a sigh of relief because finally I knew and understood what I had always feared, I was afraid that behind the dark of his eyes truly he cared about me, I was afraid because it meant despite the caring he had continued my torture for years, but at that moment I knew he never had. It was freeing. The pain of the serum caused me to arch off the bed, only the restraints holding me to it while I held in a scream, the scene changed leaving me gasping for breath as my next fear began.The rest of the landscape seemed to fly by, I was still riding the high of my own acceptance of my father. I had known he was a monster but now it was so much easier to let go of his actions, it was easy to dismiss evil as evil when it didn't have a heart. I left the sim on shaky knees and happily collapsed in the training room beside all the other initiates. Most of us were sitting probably from the aftermath of our fears but all of us had our eyes on the board waiting for the leaders to set the grades. They walked into the room looking very regal as they came to stand beside the board and before us. My eyes flickered over to Eric and observed his casual stance, it was very different from the battle-ready one he used in the Trench but no less intimidating, if Kali's wince in his direction was anything to go by.
Max addressed us, "Congratulations initiates, you are now members of Dauntless. We expect you to maintain our code, bravery and valour, at all times, for now, let us see your rankings."
The electronic board lit up and my eyes blurred them out in search of my own name, I scanned it then had to again as I had skipped over my rank. 3rd. I was third. I grinned, I was a little disappointed at not achieving my goal of first, but it had changed to beating Thaddeus, and I had achieved that, with him sitting 4th. My eyes jumped to the top and I saw Archie and then Brad's name in bold. Wait. I let out a shocked laugh and turned to congratulate him only to be pulled into a hug from him first. I was elated he got second it meant he might be able to actually implement the changes he had dreamed of doing. Cassius was cooing over Archie who was bright red as Cassius planted a few smothering kisses on his brow. I turned back to the board. Thaddeus was directly after me, then Delphi, Zane and Kali, Cassius and Talea were after them, I didn't particularly care for anyone else and jumped on Kali's back letting her roll me off and engage in a wrestle. It was chaotic and addicting the atmosphere of delight. The leaders were watching the show with mild amusement. I briefly saw Emma standing on Jackson's shoulders and trash-talking Zane, despite him getting higher, Zane seemed amused by the whole thing and a little baffled with how Emma wasn't falling off the boy as he moved around. Thaddeus and Piri sidled up behind Zane to join in the verbal smackdown but I was happy to
note the playful tones in their voices. A few other Dauntless born had got the same idea as Kali and I, and a few fights started, now full of laughter and a lot more dramatic with there no stakes
holding us down. The leaders must have left at some point but I only distantly heard Harrison's reminder to chose
our positions before we left. I snarled at Kali as we went rolling over, only for me to throw my weight into it rolling her again so I was the one pinning her down. "You give up Kali?"
In response she threw a knee into my groin, I was glad I wasn't a guy but it still hurt enough to distract me and allow Kali to throw a hit to my face. I saw it coming and easily defended she
couldn't get much power from the ground I was about to retaliate when all my senses went off and I spun without thinking to deck Talea who had come behind to attempt to help her girlfriend. Talea groaned and Kali burst into laughter causing me to wince in apology at the girl. She only waved me off, "Ugh, I'm good Pers, just give me a second." I jumped off Kali and pulled her to
her feet before giving her a gentle push towards the other, "Please help her I dunno how." Kali rolled her eyes before peeling Talea's hands away to survey the damage and with a mock sound of sympathy pulled her into a kiss. Talea pulled away with a grin, "Am I permanently disfigured?"
I gave a sound of disgust at the loving look Kali sent her and the words I knew were coming,
"Aww babe I'd love you either way." They ignored me and I opted to go check on the board which allowed us to input the positions we wanted beside our rank, it had to be done in order
and when I got there I saw I was next to choose. I checked Archie's name and saw, sure enough, he chose patrol. In the beginning, patrol was split into two categories, response patrol, dealing with things like fire and emergency call outs,
and station patrol which included the fence and patrolling the factionless. I wasn't sure which one the elite guard fell under but I had suspected you didn't just get to choose the elite guard, it
was either a position you worked up to or were chosen forArchie had put himself in station patrol. I considered Brad might have put himself into response patrol due to his experience with the Dauntless firefighters but wasn't surprised to see leadership by his name. It would be a path he would have to work hard in, he wouldn't become
a leader until one died or he proposed a part of Dauntless life that wasn't being covered by any of the others. He would become a vassal, and work under the leaders. I can't imagine it would
be easy but glancing back at him doing a happy dance with Delphi, I knew it would be rewarding.
I pressed down on the keys of the computer, typing in my own future. Response patrol. I needed the job full of uncertainty and challenge, I could picture myself scaling the side of the hub if it caught fire, I wanted to be the person of bravery that had influenced Brad so much, I wanted to jump the rooftops to rush to the aid of a patrol squad. It had happened before, a patrol squad had been assaulted by some factionless that had looted a cargo shipment of guns, I had heard
that the response patrol had to rush to the emergency, that was the response's purpose. I suspected the elite guard would have stepped in if it had been a hostage situation or something similar that required more delicacy and allowed for a little more time. I grinned as my choice showed up on the board and went to join my friends. Every name had a position beside it we ditched the training room to head to our old barracks, the transfer ones as we wanted it to be just us. We sat in a circle on the floor this time and I turned to Delphi. "Hey Delph, what did you choose, I didn't see?" I was curious as I couldn't really place her.
"Inventory and faction stocks." She elaborated at my confused look, "It's under Harrison's section, he deals with the finances, every in or out transaction of dauntless."
"Huh, that pretty cool. Kali piped up, "I'm working under Felicity-" She turned to me and elaborated, apparently they all knew a bit more about the leaders than myself, "-She works weapons design and upkeep." I nodded that was a good fit for Kali.Talea had gone into security but not the branch Four was in, security fell under Xaviors's jurisdiction, he dealt with every type of security problem which split into 2 main ones, the security of the fence and security of the digital kind. That meant the station patrol's also fell under him so Archie was also working with him Cassius, as I suspected, had gone into patrol but he had chosen the same route as myself, we would be working together. "Who's in charge of response patrol? Is it Xavior also?"
Cassius leaned over to steal a biscuit that Delphi had snuck in, "Nah, it's Eric's division."
Kali snorted "Good luck."
I cocked my head to the side curious, "Did he propose the response unit?"
Delphi shook her head, "No that was in place for ages, he just trains and oversees them as part of his leadership role."
"So what part of Dauntless did he become the leader of?"
Cassius answered for her, "Strategie. He came up with the proposition for the elite guard, that's his baby, he also oversees any contingencies and plans in place, you know cause he's head of
strategy and training."
"And training?" I picked out one of the words "I thought Four oversaw training?"
Talea laughed, "Yeah but he's not a leader, Eric's in charge of training, but he has lots of other responsibilities he obviously can't be the one to train us, especially as we're just initiates, he spends more time with his patrols and the elite guard." That actually made more sense, I had wondered a little why the leader oversaw our training, I thought it was just to ensure no weaklings slipped through, but it was because it was his job to ensure everything was running smoothly. Archie's head shot up, "Oh Persie, I asked for your records from the nurse-" He put a tablet in
front of me and swiped the screen to show my file. "-I didn't read it, it's locked by your points code anyway, but she said it has your birthday if you want. I hesitated a little shocked at the abrupt claim, but reached out for the tablet, I'd never cared or really been curious before but now with my friends' eager eyes on me, I couldn't help feeling a little excited. I typed in my code and scanned the file.
D.O.B
10/05/2152
Huh well, how about that. 10th of May, that was in spring, fitting for my namesake, Persephone goddess of spring.
Kali scowled at me, "Well when is it?"
Archie put his hand on his hip in a mock imitation of her, "Give her a second to read it first why don't ya."She pulled a face at him "I don't sound like that-" She turned to her girlfriend, "Talea, do I sound like that?"
"Only on Mondays." Kali gave a gasp of betrayal and I leant back against the bed feeling a warm feeling settle over me, I was glad I was home.
