Behind The Screen | Bangchan

chapter 5

I checked out the mails again...but no luck,he hasn't replied to me yet but he was posting on instagram

I was used to getting this anxious feeling,what is he doing? Why isn't he texting? Stop overthinking. I would tell myself

Everything felt out of place,my career was falling apart,people hated me,the only person i was closest to wasn't even here

I felt my stomach drop,for me,anxiety wasn't something new to deal with but suffering in silence was hard,no matter what at the end of the day i wished to rely on someone

To depend on someone

My head was spinning,my eyes were feeling uncomfortable,I wanted to rip my skin

Anxiously without realising,I started picking up on my skin,the banging on the door made me snap out of my thoughts,my fingers were wrapped up in blood,my skin was torn

Fuck

"What?" I yelled from inside

"Just checking" chan replied from outside,he didn't say anything further

But i waited...with no luck

Should I just talk to him?

Divert my mind

I pulled myself in a hoodie to cover the wound and walked outside,just to find chan leaning on the wall but he stood straight as soon as he saw me

He's way too much into this bodygaurd character

"You need anything ma'am?"

"I need you to just call me Eve,or atleast Evelyn"

"If none,don't call me ma'am aswell" I whined,walking towards the couch while he gave me no response,I wasn't surprised about it anymore

"Any genre you like?" I turned my head back at him

"What?" He asked in confusion

"I'm watching a movie,do you have anything you'd want to watch"

"No thankyou,you can just choose for yourself" chan clasped his lips together,unintentionally placing his dimples on display

Cute

I couldn't help but smile at how cute he looked

His looks were intimidating sometimes but not usually,probably because of his soft features and...those dimples

Focused on the tv screen,i just changed the channels mindlessly

"Ma'am? Are you okay?" Chan worriedly asked

"Oh...yeah" I answered,keeping a wide smile on my face while my eyes locked with his

"Well the news for today" the background of the tv snapped me out,I looked back to the screen,trying to change the channel but...

I saw him

Yugyeom

With someone else?

"The kpop star yugyeom and sohee have been seen  in many places together,and the company announced their relationship of three months,the couple might get engaged soon"

My eyes fixated of the screen,I couldn't move
The time around me stopped,the voice of the television faded away while I stared blankly at him,my feelings all over the places,my throat clenched but not a tear dared to fall out of my eyes...I felt lifeless at that point.

My skin felt sick,I felt uncomfortable,I gulped down my dry throat while my heart shattered into millions of pieces

This is all a lie....right?

I ran inside my room,with chan knocking the door

"Is everything alright?"

"Mmhm" I managed to say

I opened my laptop again,she checked her mails but no respond

Should I call him??

It wouldn't matter now,would it??

If I don’t call now,it'll be too late

Or was it already too late...

I needed to talk to him

I grabbed my phone,dialing his number

Outgoing call to yugyeom

- this is yugyeom, please leave a message -

I tried,multiple times

I was gonna try until he picks up my calls

"What's with you" he shouted as he picked up this time

"I just saw the news" my voice trembled,while tears rolled down my cheeks

"It is just a rumour....right?"

"It isn't"

"I need to meet you...I need to talk to you" I cried out

"I can't meet you Evelyn"

"Please....please" I completely broke down,
I wanted to know what was happening..i wanted to see him,I wanted to hear that this was all just a lie

"District 4,the same cafe...and don't you fucking dare to come with anyone" he blurted

"Okay"

I threw a hoodie on,covering myself with a mask.now the only thing I needed to figure out was how to get out of here

I can't use the front door,chan would never let me go alone

"I'll just jump out of this fucking window"

Fuck

The window wasn't high but falling down might have cracked some of my bones

I decided to walk as the cafe was near,I needed to avoid media by all means

The alley was dark,silent...that's why he always called me here,to not get caught in media's eyes..

I waited from him as minutes passed by,then hours...and hours

I checked the time again,3 AM

Why isn't he here?

It was stupid of me to leave the phone at home aswell, I couldn't even call him

Was he okay?

Why didn't he come?

Did something happen to him?

My body fell on the ground,I haven't eaten anything,the cold air hits me,my nostrils filled up with the smell of rain as I just groaned in pain

My body was drenched,my tears mixed up with droplets of rain,my eyes stinging as I just sat there crying my heart out...

Folding my legs i buried my face in my knees,slowly hugging myself in that position

It wasn't that I hated the rain
It's just the thunderstorms that I feared

My life was falling apart...just at this moment I wouldn't even bother to get up,it already has gone all wrong

I didn't care about getting drenched,I didn't bother to get up and sit under some shade...what would I be protecting myself from anyways?

I needed him,I needed yugyeom...and my body curled up more as those droplets hits me harder

Guess the rain wasn't going to stop anytime soon today...

But to my surprise it did,but only for me

My eyes slowly opened,I saw someone standing right in front of me,while they covered me with umbrella,still not standing io I continued to be in that position for a while nor the person bent down...

I wished it to be yugyeom..i slowly moved my head up...to see the guy staring at me, that poker face but with a hint of worry visible in his eyes and...anger I suppose