My Father's Only Rule {DRACO MALFOY X SNAPE'S DAUGHTER}

Chapter Twenty-One: A Train Conversation

December 1997 - Devon --> London

 We knew it was going to be a long trip back to London. So we got comfortable in our compartment. I was surprised Jane hadn't fallen asleep since I dragged her out of bed.

"Grace," she said. "I need to ask you something."

"Sure."

"When did you know you were in love?" I assumed she was talking about Harry since we had been talking quite a lot about him lately.

"I was never in love with Harry," I said. "I thought I was. I wanted to be. And I definitely love him. But I was never in love. I knew I was in love with Cedric when he completed his first event in the tournament."

"Ah," she said. "That was the day of the bath."

"You have a very strange obsession with this bath," I laughed. "It's kind of weird."

"I'll never forgive you for not telling me about it."

"Jane," I laughed. "You know why I can't do that. Even best friends have to have boundaries."

"You did the impossible, Grace," she said. "You were a new student in the fourth year who managed to get Cedric Diggory. Cedric Diggory! The school hottie. Mr. Hogwarts. You won a diamond medal in the popularity olympics. Forgive me for wanting to know the details. Best friends tell each other things."

"You're ridiculous," I said.

"I know," she said. "But I wasn't talking about either of them."

"What?"

"When I asked you when you knew you were in love," she said. "I was talking about Draco."

"Oh," I said. "I'm not in love with Draco."

"Well, that's new," she said. "When did you realize that?"

"Just now," I said. "At Cedric's grave."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," I said. I was closed off.

"Come on, Grace," she said. "What's on your mind?"

"I'm not in love with Draco," I said.

"Then why did you break up with Cedric in the first place?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "Maybe I just wanted to cause drama. Or maybe Draco was appealing because he was forbidden and I was stupid enough to want forbidden love when I had a perfectly good relationship. I shouldn't have done it. Cedric was wildly in love with me and I threw it all away." I had made up my mind that it was a mistake all those years ago. And I wouldn't make that mistake again. "I think I'm going to break up with Draco."

"What?" she asked. "Grace, you're engaged."

"Not anymore," I said. "We called it off right before the break."

"Grace, I feel like this is coming out of nowhere," she said.

"It's not," I assured her. "I think I'm meant to be with Cedric. Visiting him only confirmed the feeling."

"Grace, you're acting ridiculous. And not in a fun way. You're not meant to be with Cedric. Cedric is dead."

"I know that," I said. "That's my point. I'm meant to be with Cedric. He's the one. And if he's dead, then I'm not meant to be with anyone. I had my time with him and I fucked it up."

"Grace," she said.

"There's nothing you can say to change my mind," I said. "I got back with Draco last year because I felt sorry for him. He looked so sad and I thought I could help him. It's been a year since we got back together, and I feel like I've spent every second trying to cater to him and what he wants. It's a one-way relationship. I don't feel loved."

"You know he loves you," Jane said.

"I don't feel it," I said.

"But you did," Jane said.

"I don't wanna talk about this, Jane," I said.

"Grace, can you let me say something?" she asked. "Because I feel like you need to hear it." I didn't want to. But I didn't want Jane to get mad at me. I didn't need another person mad at me. "Grace," she said. "Listen, I'm not in your head. Ok? I don't know how you really feel about things. But I know what I see. And I have never seen you happier than when you came back from Christmas break in fourth year. That whole semester up until Cedric's death. And honestly, I thought it was because you felt free of Cedric. But now that I know that you were dating Draco, it makes so much sense. And I have truly never seen you that happy since then."

"That was before Voldemort came back," I said.

"Exactly," Jane said. "It's not Draco that's bothering you, it's this war. I can't explain what second semester was like that year, Grace. It was magical. Everything was aligned. Everything felt right. And the only difference between then and now is this stupid war. And you and Draco are in the heart of it. So once it's over, everything will be as it was."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean your problem isn't Draco. Your problem is Voldemort. He's stressing both of you out. You were perfectly happy when there wasn't a war. Right now you're both playing Voldemort's game. Voldemort will die. And you won't have to play his game anymore."

I didn't know what to say. 

"Don't break up with him," Jane said. "I've supported you in every other stupid thing you've done, but I think this is a mistake."

"You don't think I've made other mistakes?"

"Of course I do," Jane said. "But people like to say that you learn from your mistakes, and it's just not true. You only learn from the mistakes you learn from. Which I realize sounds weird, but just think about it. I know you. You learn from most of your mistakes. But when you don't, you keep making the same ones. And you attempt to fix them by making more. It's a cycle. And it needs to stop. I wouldn't be a good friend if I didn't tell you when to stop- and it's now."