𝐏𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐈𝐈 | Review Shop II

The Beast [Iris]

Book: The Beast
Author: fantasylilac_656
Reviewer: Iamjustasapien
Chapters read: 8

(First and foremost, I would like to say, I do not watch K-drama nor K-pop. I apologise in advance, if I have written something offending related to that.)

Cover:
The cover is just awesome! The faceclaims used are perfect. The font size, colour, style is amazing as well, no changes are required. However, the silhouette of the couple behind the title is really small. I recommend increasing the size of it.

Apart from that, the quote: "She has to be mine, otherwise I will make her mine myself", really gives that dark romance/mafia vibe! It really suits the story and really catches reader's attention. Good job!

Title:
"The Beast" is a unique and eye-catching title choice. It really fits the storyline and is perfect, there are no changes required! Good job!

Blurb:
Okay, the start:

"I really want to f*** you hard, y/n" he whispered in deep voice...."

Is, to say the least, eye-catching. It was a jump-scare, personally. Anyways, the blurb overall is really good. It does give the mature readers an idea of what's going to come ahead. However, I recommend adding more dialogues to the blurb. Dialogues which capture the forced marriage and fluffy romance part of the book.

Moving on, the errors of lack of punctuations in the blurb is seen a lot. It is done inside the book as well, but I will talk about that in the "Grammer and vocabulary" section. The first sentence has mistakes:

"...he whispered in deep voice breathing heavily as his eyes were still closed. y/n opened her eyes listening to him as she looked at his closed eyes."

Has many punctuation errors. I strongly suggest it to be written like this:

"...he whispered in a deep voice, breathing heavily; his eyes were closed. y/n opened her eyes listening to him, she looked at his closed eyes."

I can't explain every mistake, as it would be too agonizing to read. Therefore, I have listed the errors made in your blurb:-

1) Error: "ask nicely" she whispered looking at him, as he opened his eyes and look at her intensely.

Correction: "Ask nicely.", she whispered, looking at him, as he opened his eyes and looked at her intensely.

2) Error: "...looking at her as without saying anything, y/n."

Correction"...looking at her without saying anything, y/n."

That's it. There are no mistakes other than the ones mentioned. Please do correct the mistakes. Since, the blurb is the first factor of a book which catches readers's attention.

Plot:
The plot is well-written and well-thought. The plot is the cliché y/n × a bts character, I presume. It is well paced, not too fast nor too slow. And I just love how you end the chapters! The end questions or statements made, really hooks the reader. Each chapter is intertwined and can be distinguished easily! No changes are required on the plot! Good job!

Character Development:
To begin with, there isn't much I can say on the character development. Since, I have only read 8 chapters. But I just wanted to say, the characters are well written and can be distinguished easily! Good job!

Grammar and Vocabulary:
And this is were you stumble. Although, there are a few grammatical and punctuation errors, the main problem about your book is the lack capitalization. In each and every sentence, there is no capitalization of letters! For example, see this paragraph taken from chapter 1:

"she tapped his shoulder a little and put a bouquet of flower in front of her face. as soon as he turned

"surprise" she said while removing the bouquet of flower from her face.

he smiled a little and without saying anything he turned facing his back in front of her

she got confused and came and sat at the chair in front of him

" hey, what happen.... are you angry that l came late or is it something else which is bothering you... tell me" she asked placing her hand on his hand, which was placed on the table."

To be blunt, as a reader, I would immediately click off the book off I spot so many errors. I highly suggest you to correct them. Moving on, here are some errors and corrections:-

1) Error:- A girl was running from the side of the road with a bouquet of flowers in her hand. she seems to be in quite a hurry.

Correction: A girl was running from the side of the road with a bouquet of flowers in her hand. She seems to be in quite a hurry.

2) Error: She is wearing a black colored skirt which is till her knee length with The white sleeveless top which is looking great on her.

Correction:- She is wearing a black-coloured skirt that is to her knee length with a white sleeveless top, which is looking great on her.

3) Error: she tapped his shoulder a little and put a bouquet of flower in front of her face. as soon as he turned

Correction: She tapped his shoulder a little and placed the bouquet of flowers in front of her face, as soon as he turned.

(I have rephrased the sentence as well, for a smooth flow)

There are many more errors or mistakes scattered all over the book. I highly suggest you to proof-read your work and correct them.

Overall Enjoyment:
This book is really enjoyable! I personally, enjoyed it. The ones who are into cliché romance books, this book is literal gold. However, the mistakes mentioned above are holding you down, do correct them! This book has the spark every reader looks for and is really fun to read. Never stop writing this masterpiece! Keep going!

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