Duvarları içinde - within the walls

Chapter 30

The morning sun had risen over the horizon. Its warmth spread across the landscape as Konur and Mihrimah rode side by side.

The open fields stretched out before them. The day was perfect for a ride.

Mihrimah glanced over at Konur, who was focused on the path ahead. She couldn't help but notice how at ease he seemed on horseback. She found him both admirable and intriguing.

''How about a race, Konur?'' Mihrimah suddenly suggested, as a playful grin spread across her face.

Konur turned to her. ''A race? Are you sure you can keep up, Mihrimah?''

''Allah, Allah. Do you hear that, Toprak? Let's show him that we can do more than keep up.'' She talked to Toprak, who neighed in response.

Without hesitation, she was galloping ahead.

Konur chuckled to himself and urged his horse to follow. The two of them raced across the fields. For a few blissful moments, they were free from their responsibilities.

Mihrimah could feel her heart pounding in her chest, not just from the speed but from the excitement. She pushed Toprak harder, urging him to go faster, as she glanced over her shoulder to see Konur closing in on her. He was right behind her.

As they neared a bend in the path, Mihrimah pulled slightly ahead, taking the lead just as they reached a small river in the forest. She slowed Toprak, bringing him to a stop by the water's edge, and dismounted with a triumphant smile.

Konur arrived moments later, reining in his horse beside Toprak and dismounting with ease. ''You two are faster than I thought,'' he admitted.

''Did you hear that? '' she asked Toprak and then turned to Konur. ''Why do you sound so surprised? I told you we could do more than keep up.''

Konur nodded, acknowledging her victory with a smile. They walked to the riverbank, where the sun reflected on the surface of the water. It was a peaceful spot. The sound of the gently flowing river made it easier for Mihrimah to speak her mind.

As they sat down on the grass, Mihrimah gazed out at the water. She had been thinking a lot lately - about herself, about Konur, and about the future. There was something she needed to say, something she had been fighting with for some time.

''Konur,'' she began. ''There's something I need to tell you.''

He looked at her, waiting for her to continue.

''I know I'm different.'' she said, her eyes still on the river. ''Different from the other Hatuns in the tribe. I've always felt that way. I don't fit the mold. I don't want to just sit at home and wait for a husband or spend my days doing what's expected of me. I want to fight, to protect our people, to make a difference in the tribe. ''

Konur senses that there was a point with what she was sharing. ''There's nothing wrong with being different, Mihrimah.'' he said after a moment. ''It's what makes you who you are. And who you are is strong, capable, and admirable."

Mihrimah turned to him. Her eyes searched his face for any sign of doubt or judgment, but she found none. He was sincere.

''But there's more.'' she continued. ''I've also been thinking about us... About what you said to me a while ago. About your feelings.''

Konur remained silent, giving her the space she needed to express herself.

''The truth is.'' Mihrimah said slowly. ''I don't really know how to feel about relationships. I've always been skeptical of them - maybe because I've been so focused on other things. But when you told me how you felt...'' She hesitated, searching for the right words.

''It made me realize that maybe I've been pushing people away because I'm afraid of something I don't understand. Afraid of being vulnerable, of getting hurt, of losing focus on what I think is important. But I don't want to let that fear control me. I want to understand these feelings and explore them, even if it scares me.''

Konur eyes widened. They were full of hope, admiration, and a deep respect for her honesty.

''You don't have to have all the answers right now.'' he said softly. ''We can take things one step at a time, at your pace. All I want is for you to be true to yourself, to feel safe and supported in whatever you choose.''

Mihrimah didn't know where this path would lead, but she felt a sense of comfort knowing that Konur was willing to walk it with her.

''Thank you, Konur," she whispered. ''Thank you for understanding. I think that I've been looking for someone like you. Accepting someone complicated as me. And is patient with me and tries to understand me. Respect. Accepting me as I am.''

He smiled at her. ''You've always been strong, Mihrimah. And now you're being brave too. Whatever happens, I'll be here.''

Mihrimah gave him a sincere smile and stood up. She walked to Toprak and took something out of her out of a bag of the saddle and sat beside Konur again. ''I have something for you. It's nothing mouch though.''

She opened her hand, and a tassel was revealed. She bound it at the pommel of his sword. ''Never part with it. If you ever face an obstacle, let it give you strength. If you feel troubled, let it remind you that I'm with you.''

Konur then reached out for something wrapped in a cloth of his belt and gave it to Mihrimah. ''I bought this in Sögüt. It made me think of you.''

Mihrimah looked at him surprised. ''For me?'' He nodded in response, and Mihrimah took the gift.

When she wrapped it up, a small, round mirror was in there. Mihrimah's heart swelled. ''I have no words for how beautiful this is, Konur.''

She opened the mirror and looked at her reflection. Besides her, Konur leaned closer to her to see her reflection in the mirror too. ''I want you to see the beauty that I see every day.'' She looked at him and realized that he was close to her. Konur realized this and leaned back.

As she looked back to the mirror. ''This feels like a dream. A dream that I never want to wake up from.''

''Me neither.''

Eventually, as the sun began to set, they knew it was time to head back.

As they rode back to the tribe, side by side, Mihrimah felt a sense of peace she hadn't known before. She was still different, still uncertain about many things, but she was no longer alone in those uncertainties. And for now, that was enough.

Word count: 1080