Right But Wrong

How I fucked up my life

                                                                                                          Zoran:

She was gorgeous, absolutely fucking gorgeous. But that only made me question if i made the right decision, as gorgeous as she was she was also extremely innocent and young. Too young. I shouldn't have brought a 16 year old girl into all of this, daughter or not. 

"So that's your daughter?" I heard my wife from behind me, i was currently in the kitchen cooking the family dinner "she doesn't look much like you" she stated and truthfully she wasn't wrong. She was practically a direct copy of her mother, apart from a few features that made it easy to tell her and her mother apart. I just hoped she didn't act much like her mother. I don't think Avery remembers much from when i was there but Julia was drunk almost all the time, i mean i wasn't in much of a good space either, i may have been even worst than Julia which is how a lot of shit was caused. That's why i needed to get out of there. 

I left when Avery was six, i took her older brother's with me because they already had some sort of hatred towards their mother for many reasons, but Julia had taken some sort of liking to Avery, maybe it was because she was a girl, i don't know. What I did know was it made it easier to leave them together instead of taking Avery with me, but maybe i had made the wrong decision.

I had struggled for a while, i barely knew how to be a parent when i had Julia, let alone when i was trying to do the job alone. "she looks more like her mother" I finally answered my wife, understanding her concern. I had been married to Dorothea for 7 years and i was sure it was one of the best decisions i ever made, but i never mentioned much of my past to her, like people say live in the present not the past, plus it hurt mentioning Avery that's why me and the boys finally stopped doing so.

 The boys took a while to warm up to Thea and i was sure Xaden and Aeson never did. Zandros kept to himself but he was respectful towards Dorothea and his new sisters, Angelica and Bella, maybe he did it for me or maybe he did it to cause less problems, either way i was grateful. Zake and Miles however somewhat started to see her as a mother, possibly because they were the youngest which would cause them to feel more of a need to have a mother than the others, Zandros was already 13 when we left and Aeson and Xaden were 12 and 10, but Miles and Zake were 7 and 8. They were both so close to Avery's age, all of them were just kids yet me and Julia managed to mess up theirs lives. And I managed to mess up my other three kid's lives even more by what I did..I was sure neither of them fully forgave me for that decision. I mean sure abuse is terrible and keeping Zandros, Aeson, Xaden, Miles and Zake in a situation like that until they were definetly already scarred enough to mess up their mind was a fucking terrible decision but isn't abandoment even worst? No matter what my reasons may have been, that was still my fault.

Zandros walked into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water and smiling a little at me and Thea. "Zandros, are you ok sweetheart?" Dorothea asked softly, recognising how tense he seemed, of course she wouldn't know why. Zandros was already selectively mute when he was 5 but a year after Avery left he went fully so, all the boys were extremely over-protective of Avery as kids so now it must be strange for all of them to have her back. I mean Zandros went mute and it caused Xaden to get into fights, and Jayi...Before i could finish my though i instantly turned my focus back to cooking. That wasn't my fault. But as much as i tried convincing myself what happened wasn't because of me, i still felt a wave of regret and guilt wash over me. I had always questioned if i should have gone back to get Avery but something inside me said her mother would do everything to make it impossible for me to do so. 

Now i was just determind to make everything up to her, although i assume she would make that incredibly difficult. I deserved no less. I left her in a home i shouldn't have, i was surprised only Aeson showed hatred towards me for it.

"dinner will be ready soon" I informed my wife, placing a light kiss on her cheek. I prayed that her and Avery would get along, but who knew if they would or even could. 

Eventually we were all sat around the table, at least the majority of us were, most of us eating hungrily, apart from Avery that is. She took a few mouthfulls but it was easy to tell how nervous she was. "So Avery, i was thinking you could join Angelica and Bella with online schooling?" As soon as i started speaking she looked up at me with her grey eyes. God those grey eyes. 

"That's fine" she mumbled, was her voice always this soft? God Zoran what the fuck has gotten into you. She's your daughter for fucks sake. 

"So tell us about yourself, what do you like?" thea smiled at her, clearly trying her best to be friendly.

"I like art.." she mumbled 

"damn do you always mumble" Aeson rolled his eyes, making me glare at him.

"s sorry, i'm just tired" she whispered. Of course she was, she just lost her mother, how the fuck did i forget that?

"that's understandable, we were about to watch a movie, you can either stay with us or you can go get some rest, it's your choice" I smiled at her

"i ca can join you" she stuttered and i nodded, having us all walk over to the living room and putting a dvd in the box.

Avery sat next to Miles and i could see how happy it made him, before we left they were practically inseperable, Miles refused to ever leave her side, as much as he tried to be happy again his smile never reached his eyes, that was until now. 

About half an hour later and Avery had fallen asleep, her head had fallen onto Miles's chest and he had subconsciously started running his finger through her hair. It made me happy to see her so peaceful, it made me feel a need to protect her from any harm, but there was something else too. It felt like jealousy but it couldn't be right? I mean who in the right mind would become jealous of his own children. 

Angelica and Bella had slipped off to their rooms so it was only us, Thea leaned across to me and whispered "why don't we leave the kid's here? Return to our bedroom" she was clearly trying to sound seductive and usually she would succeed but something inside me tonight wanted so badly to tell her 'no'. 

Instead i simply nodded and followed her to our room, trying to push away any thoughts of Avery out of my mind but it was so difficult not to. God Avery you've only been here for a few hours and your already stirring trouble, what on earth are you doing to me? Deep down i knew i shouldn't be blaming Avery for all of this but i refused to admit to myself that the cause was probably my own sick and twisted mind. Plus did she have to look so goddamn beautiful?

A/N: thoughts on the story so far? What happened to Jayi? Why does Zoran feel so guilty? Anyway I love seeing comments so make sure to leave them and add this story to your library if you like it! Love you all xx