Right But Wrong

Cloud nine

Zake: 

It's weird. She's back here, in this house with us, smiling although i can easily tell that her smile never reaches her eyes. I wonder if she misses mother, or if shes glad she's dead. I know how heartless it sounds but in a way i'm glad that woman is gone. I'm glad that she's dead. That woman took away the one girl who brought me and my brothers happiness, she stole her from us for years. I've lived in this house with my brothers and father for years, several to be exact. Seeing my father move on easily and love his new wife, so clearly trying to get mother and Avery out of his head, keeping the past in the past. But how could he ever keep Avery in the past? 

Avery was our world. She was the one who lessened the pain that our parents brought not only to each other but us too. The specific abuse each of us went through was always unspoken, but the bruises, the tears, the screams, it all signifyed what we were going through. When Avery was born the abuse lessened - not by much, but yet it still lessened - she also brought us a reason. A reason to fight for someone that wasn't just ourselves. She brought us a reason to try and live instead of just survive in the hell hole we grew up in. 

Truthfully other than the abusive moments, and the moments we had to pretend to be the perfect family for others, i believe we went unnoticed. Other than to each other, it was like we didn't exist. We only existed to be a punching bag - physically or metaphorically - or to be a showcase to the outer world. When Avery was born we were no longer invisible. She saw us. She made us feel seen.

And then she was ripped from our grip. Now she was here, she was laughing and smiling, she was acting normal. How could she act normal? I mean she clearly didn't feel normal, her eyes at the very least showed it. But she tried to act as if she was, as if she didn't go through everything the court mentioned she did. I didn't know everything she went through, but father said slight things that were mentioned. How could someone hurt an angel like her? How could someone ever think of hurting our saviour? My saviour.

I stare at Avery, as if she's the only one in the room, as if everyone else doesn't exist. It's not her outer features i stare at - her pretty eyes, silk hair, fair skin, or even the freckles that suit her so perfectly - it's what hides behind all of that. Her hidden emotions, silenced thoughts, unspoken words. Her soul. How could someone like her exist? She's too good for the world. The world is too corrupted for her perfection. 

She glances over at me for a few seconds, as if to ask what i'm staring at. But how could i answer that? There's no words to put her perfection into. There's no descriptions that fit her well enough. I want to know every part of her, every hidden part of her. Good, bad, evil, heavenly. Every word that enters her mind, every scenario ever imagined. 

Instead of asking anything, i turn to go outside. Grabbing a rifle, rope and axe, along with protective gear. I walk through the forest we live in, the rain pouring down and soaking the soil of the ground. The rain seems to allow me to breathe as I find a couple of falling trees, ready to be chopped down with new ones planted in their place.

As I hit at the trees with the axe I feel a presence behind me, yet I refuse to turn around. "I can feel your eyes bambina" I mutter, continuing to focus on chopping down the tree.

"I- I'm sorry" she stutters, immediately shifting her gaze. That stutter. That voice. Why does she have to be so heavenly? "Come here tesoro" I say, my voice slightly more commanding as I wait for her to follow it. Taking slow steps she walks over to me, awaiting my next move.

As soon as shes standing only inches from me I pull her closer, pinning her against the tree in front of me. I practically tower over her tiny frame, don't get me wrong I've been around plenty of girls who are alot smaller than her but the way she carries herself makes her seem tiny.