Hibiki

Chapter 23 | Freedom On The Deep End

Sigh

After a long deep sigh, I twisted the door knob of my home's door into the living room. Just by opening and hearing this door made of wood making a squeaky sound made my heart thump harder..
          I took a step inside, and put my shoes back carefully.

          "Mother?" I called out. No one answered, it occurred to me that she must've gone shopping. I don't know why but she should be.. I hope so.
          I walked towards the stairs, step by step up, going straight into my room. Today's been alright, doing my part as that perfect person as always. It's so hard to act like someone who isn't you.
          I opened the door to my room, locked the door and sat down the floor while looking at a reflection of myself straight in the mirror. Does this mirror reflect the me they see or the true me?
          The only source of light I have in my room right now comes from the lamp beside my bed. Making the room seem darker since the curtains are also down.
          I touched my face, every side, corner and turns while asking myself "Why couldn't I just be ugly?"

          If I was ugly then my mother wouldn't love me, she'd throw me out like trash whenever she wanted, but that's only me being too ungrateful right? My classmates did say that I have the face of a goddess.. yet I feel like this beauty they call that is my face is a curse.
          This mirror, the reflection that it shows me right now. The boy.. girl inside seems to be crying, tears falling down her face yet not making a sound, looking angrily in front of him.

          "Why can't you just be brave for once?" She yelled out as she took off her uniform. Pulling it, punching it, doing everything she can to release her anger. "Why can't you be yourself?" She added.
          She continued on looking down at her uniform that was on the floor, her dirty uniform that still wasn't damaged. Weak.

Squeak

          The door opened and her mother.. my mother looked at me, with such shocked eyes.

          "Hibiki! What happened?" She asked, looking as if she was concerned.

          "Bullies." I answered, just that one word made her eyes bulge in anger.
          She stripped my clothes carefully until I was naked, put down some clothes beside me and brushed my hair back. I can't just tell her that I actually tripped while I was going home. I'd be in much more trouble if I did. That would be a flaw.

          "M-Mom, it hurts." I closed my mouth as I slowly looked up in the mirror. My mom, still looks visibly upset as she combed my hair aggressively. I don't care much, since if she did continue, my appearance won't be as perfect as she wants.
          I looked down a little, looking at the reflection of my body, my frail weak body resembling a girl's.. that's what my mother has said. If I could, I would have just turned into a girl if I didn't have that thing down there, unfortunately this is me.
          I didn't even realize it but tears still rolled down my cheek. I just looked at my pitiful self, you pitiful, weak, girl.

          Not until that reflection of me turned her head up a little, her face making such an endearing expression. "Tell me, what are you so scared of?"

Ring

          "Huh?"

          Suddenly the surroundings turned blurry and I can only seem to focus on Asami. Those eyes of hers glimmered a faint, color of red yet again making her smile seem and feel so uneasy.
          "What are you so scared of? Hibiki." She then leaned back on the chair, closing her eyes as she crossed her arms.

          Everything turned normal.

          "It's not that I want to know more about you. It's because I want you to make a choice for yourself. What do you actually want? What do you want to do?" She said, then opened her eyes again looking down at her cup of coffee. "I don't intend to force you. I want you to make a choice."
          I just closed my eyes to take a break from both Xyla's and Asami's pressuring gaze and presence.