Hibiki

Chapter 9 | Fated To Meet But Not Meant To Be

"You were fated to meet but you're not for each other," Ms. Yamamoto said with no hesitation. Even though she sounds calm and composed, I can feel the anger in her voice. "Think of it this way. And why would you want to be with this, good for nothing puppet?"

          Her words would definitely hurt, if I can feel.
          "You have never let me have anything I want my whole life. Damn, you even left me this huge ass deb-"
          "That's a different topic," His mom interrupted.

          I still remember it clearly, the day we met his parents. He didn't really have a choice since he cared for his parents even after all they did. His dad just stood there, at his mom's back. Looking down but I can sense sadness in his eyes. We know he deeply opposes his wife's decisions but he just can't do anything.
          I stood there like a statue, standing in front of his parents while beside Haru, emotionless. Staring straight at his mom's eyes, both of us aren't breaking any contact.

          I shook off the memories that resurfaced as I finished folding the last shirt that Xyla gave me. Because of her, my wardrobe that once only has a jacket and a few is now full.
          I laid down my bed and looked at the white cat beside me, she's sleeping peacefully. I just realized that I haven't given her a name yet.
Kaede.. Kade then.

          I closed my eyes and tried to think of nothing. But the thought that I might be the reason that Haru's life is ruined and resulted in his death, still haunts me. I sighed.
          I stood up and walked towards the big mirror I have beside my wardrobe. I can see myself but I can't understand myself right now.

          Long white hair, longer surpassing my shoulders. Light blue eyes, but looking duller every second, it's lifeless. And a mole on my neck. I do look dull. Ms. Yamamoto's right too, I really am a good for nothing.

          Ever since mom left, well that's what the doctors said, only Kaede was there for me. She only left me a big sum of money, good enough to support me to graduate and until college. If my mom left me, then I must have been a disappointment. My dad's nowhere to be found too so what do I know?

          I really am a good for nothing.

          An accident did happen to me, I don't know what caused it to happen though. I don't really remember anything from my past, only Kaede stayed in my mind since he was there with me at the hospital all the time.
          He stayed unlike my parents.

          I don't remember anything at all. What am I like before that accident? Was I cheerful? Can I feel? Only Kaede knows about it but It's a sensitive topic even for him, he said that it's better to forget.
          But the only thing I know right is that I really am a puppet. I do people's orders not even thinking about it and I let people do almost anything to me, if I know them.
          What makes me good enough to have Kaede be my best friend? What makes me interesting enough to have Haru as my boyfriend?
          Perhaps I'm just fun to be toyed with, or perhaps they just see something on me that I don't?

          I looked away from the mirror, I've been staring at my face for too long while thinking and before I knew it. The face that I knew as Hibiki became disfigured.
          I opened the wardrobe and took a set of clothes assigned by Xyla herself.
          The shirt's a little tight, the front is almost entirely clear, exposing my body. Not really my type of clothing but it doesn't bother me. Paired with ripped, baggy pants.
          I wore an extra piece of clothing since it's cold outside and I'd literally look naked with this shirt. A black leather jacket, much thinner than what I gave Kaede but good enough to make me warm.
          I stood in front of the mirror again and opened my eyes. I look like a cunt.