The Monroe's

Mack: Sorry

They finally let me out the hospital. I had to put up hell and hot water but I got my way, they say its rather I'm comfortable and with family because they don't know how long I have and what their giving just isnt working .

I finally get out the car and walk up the stairs to my parents house. It's been hard these last few days all I could do was cry. My mom held me and has been by my side since I called her but I really do see the pain and hurt in her eyes. Yes she raised us better but my crazy ass party life has lead me down this road and now I have to pay for it.

I make my way to my old room and I get In the bed. I ball up under the covers and just cry myself to sleep. I finally wake up to go pee and I see its dark out. Damn I must have slept all day. I grab the Gatorade that's on the dresser and take a sip.

My phone rings, I pick it up and see its KD calling. I send it to voicemail. Once I'm to the home screen I see I have 25 missed calls and 100 and something messages. I guess I gotta go missing for motherfuckers to bang my line like this. I go downstairs and see if my mom and dad is woke.

My mom is in the kitchen cooking and my dad is on the couch watching Law & Order. He's rarely in the living room layin down watching TV. I get another Gatorade from out the fridge and go back up stairs until the food is done.

I grab my phone and look through my messages to see if she texted me, nope. I then look at my call log to see if I at least have 1 missed call from her, yup 10 of them. I hit the talk button and call her back.

She picks up. "Damn Stac it's like that" I say into the phone. "Hello" a voice says. "Oh I'm sorry is Stacey around" "Hey Mackenzie this is her mom but she's sleep right now, she had a rough night. I can wake her if you want" she says."oh hey Ms Vanessa it's ok I'll just call her later on or tomorrow" I tell her. "OK sweetheart it was nice hearing from you" she says then she hangs up.

I haven't talked to her since I found out about it. I mentioned it to her but I guess she decided she couldn't stay with me. Its cool though, maybe KD will chill with me, I call her and get no answer, it just rings. Well I guess Mary and Strawberry gon stick by me. I grab my car keys and a jacket and go downstairs to my car. I got a sack of strawberry kush in my seat waiting on me.

As I'm getting closer to my car I see a piece of paper on the window. I walk up to it and it's an envelop that says From Stacey. I grab it and open my door and sit in the car. I search for my weed, found it, good already rolled and all. I grab a lighter and fire the blunt up.

I open the letter from Stacey.

Stacey's Letter:
To The love of my life, Mackenzie Winter Monroe.
The past 2 years of my life has been amazing, I've grown to know you and I've grown with you. I've learned so much about you but also so much about myself. I learned to love again Thanks to you and all because of you. The day I walked into your room you looked at me like no other has and at that very moment I knew you were gonna be special to me. We've had our ups and downs but mainly ups. Its been crazy these past 2 years, the constant partying and clubbing and the amazing sex we would have, oh how I miss it. The girls we've meet and had was so much fun. Everything was good and I really hoped that one day you were gonna propose to me.

"Shit I was that was my baby" I say outloud. I continue to read.

To you my past didn't matter and not once did you ever ask about it. You always told me live for today not for yesterday the past doesn't matter the future is what I should see. And for that I enjoyed and thanked you so much because my past was rough but being with you it never brought me down or my mind never traveled back in time to relive my past. As I'm writing this I just somehow wish we would have talked about certain things a little more and stopped putting certain things off. As the love of my life I'm hurt because being foolish and carefree has caused you and your family a lifetime of hurt and pain let me explain. I would never cheat on you and my intentions wasn't to hurt you. I always wanted to tell you but things would always come up and I was just living for that moment but because I withheld important information from you its killing me knowing I'm killing you.

"what, I'm lost"

I'm so sorry Mackenzie Monroe that I may have given you HIV. I've had it for 5 years now and I thought it wouldn't matter to you because of the way you lived and the partying you did, the sharing of needles and the crazy ass sex you had and talked about having before being with me.

As I'm looking at her words "I've had it for 5 years" tears just fall down my face. I can see my sisters walk past my car to the house,

I know I should have told you and I was suppose to tell you before the first time we had sex but I was so horny and so were you and I tried to stop you but you keep enticing me and from there it was on. I'm soooo sorry baby that I've exposed you to such a deadly disease. And as you were telling me your symptoms I just couldn't face you because I already knew that I had put you in the ground sooner than you were suppose to go. Since that day you called me and told me to go get tested I've been contemplating seeing you but I didn't want you to hurt me or us to argue. I also couldn't face you in person  because seeing you hurt and go through so much pain and have to learn to live with this deadly disease would have killed me. I know me saying sorry isn't gonna take anything back and if I could change the hands of time baby please believe me I would start over from day one and tell you my HIV status.
Mackenzie Winter Monroe, I am soooo sorry and you are the best thing that happened to me and I'll always love you even though I know you hate me and you may think I don't love you but I really do love you Mackenzie. I can't take it back but I wish I could.
Love Always and Forever in a day.
Ke'Asia Stacey Dallas.

"IMA KILL THAT BITCH WHERE SHE AT!" I yell as I hit my stirring wheel. "OH  MY FUCKING GOSH THAT BITCH" I just lay my head on my stirring wheel and cry. I can't believe out of all the damn women I done fucked and loved, I loved her the most and she gave me this shit. I wipe my face and go in the house.

I see my mom and I walk over to her and just hug her and cry on her shoulders. "Ma she don't love me, she don't love me ma" I cry and say. "Who baby, who" she says. "Stacey" "baby yes she does she's probably just busy working" my mom says.

Money, Lay and Mo walks in the kitchen.

"Sis what's wrong, you ok" Mo says. As her and Money hugs me. I hand my mom the letter and her and Lay reads it. Marley walks in and rubs my back.

"Stacey don't love me and she never did, what the fuck did I ever do to her" I break down and cry to them.

They sit me down in a chair and my dad comes in. "What's all the noise" he says. My mom walks over to him, she puts the letter in her pocket and she then hugs him. I can just see him look at me with hurt in is eyes.

My sisters them then sit down at the table beside me. As I wipe the tears from my eyes my heart is beating so fast. I don't know how to tell them I have HIV and I don't wana tell them that Stacey gave it to me, they would probably kill her.

My mom and dad sits down at the other end of the table facing us. "You all know I love you so much with all of my heart right?" My dad ask. "Yes sir" we say in unison. "And no matter what you go through good or bad I'm always in your corner" he continues to say. "And that same love your mom and myself give you you all need to give to each other." He says. "Well your sisters gonna need y'all love and support after she tells you all her secret" my mom says.

How do they know I'm ready to tell them or if I even can. Its so hard, I wish I didn't have to be in this fucked situation or predicament.

"Its hard, I don't know how to tell them ma" I say. "Damn sis you pregnant" Mo says. My mom gets up and hands me the letter. I then open it and just look over Stacey's words "for the last 5 years" tears just fall down my face. I look at my dad and he mouths me be strong. I then suck it and begin to read them the letter.