Growing up Hargitay

chapter 3

After the conversation with coco Raylynn couldn't help but think about it and after arriving back at their penthouse apartment Raylynn bounced on to the couch. "Mommy can we talk?" she asked. Mariska laughed slightly thinking her daughter was trying to get the new doll she had been asking about for 2 weeks "Maybe we will get that doll next week hunny" Mariska said.

"no mommy...I mean I want the doll but I wasn't asking that....I want to know where you saw my daddy today" she replied.

Mariska was caught off guard "w..what do you mean sweetie?"

Raylynn looked down twiddling her fingers unsure if she should really tell her mom that she had over heard her conversation with coco.

"sweetie what do you mean? why would you ask me that?" Mariska asked again.

"I...I heard you talking to auntie coco. you saw my daddy today didn't you?" she asked hesitantly.

Mariska was slightly shocked "oh....my love..."she sighed and sat down next to Raylynn on the couch. "I know that you want to know things about him but....your just not old enough sweetie"

"mommy I'm 8 years old I'm old enough." she said defensively.

"Ray i know you don't understand this but I'm your mom and i have to protect you." she said.

Raylynn sighed frustrated and got up and walked away.

***

Over the next 3 years Raylynn and Mariska slowly grew apart. last year she even quit going to the set during the summers telling her mom she would rather be home with her nanny Delia.

Ray had asked her mom a few times a year about her father but was still always told she wasn't old enough to know things. Tonight they were in the middle of another argument about it.

"I'm 11 not 5! I deserve to know who he is and why you are so scared to tell me!" Raylynn yelled.

"I know this is hard for you but you wouldn't understand why I have to protect you like this ray." She tried to stay calm so raylynn would calm down.

"No you don't get what it's like to walk around and everyone ask you questions like 'are you adopted? You look nothing like your mom! How are you a corrot top?' Sometimes I really do feel like some sort of redheaded step child or a freak because I don't look like you or my uncles and aunts or even papa mickey or grandma jayne! I just look like some charity case kid you let tag along!" She continued to yell.

"Raylynn Jayne that is not true!" Mariska said getting frustrated herself.

"Really then tell me mom who in your family has red hair or my eyes or these ugly freckles?!" She rolled her eyes and ran to her room and slammed her door as Mariska groaned out of frustration and sighed.

Mariska grabbed some wine and sat on the couch hearing her daughters music blaring from her room.

While she drank she called her best friend Ali and vented to her "I just don't know what to do with her any more Ali."

Ali was on the other end and said "look Ray is a smart girl and mature for her age marish. Maybe it's time you told her the truth and just be there for her." She admitted "it's not like this is the first time I've said this to you but maybe take my advice this time" she said.

Mariska sighed "and what if he tries to weasel his way back in to her life?"

"Marish he could do that even if you don't tell her and then he can tell a version he likes and push Ray even further from you. Let her get the real story not some upside down fairytale from him." She said

Mariska knew her friend was right but she also knew this story could hurt her daughter or make her resent her more.

She sat for a bit longer and then took one last drink and walked to her daughters room standing at the closed door and calmed herself.

(Find out what happens in the next chapter. 😉)