Too Much loving

I'm here

                                                               

Paige pov: 

After Maya leaves, the silence in the room feels heavy, pressing down on me. I know I've been pushing her away, but I don't know how to stop. It's like I'm trapped in this cycle of trying to protect myself from the past, but in doing so, I'm shutting out the one person who's always been there for me.

I pull out my phone, scrolling through the texts I've been avoiding. The ones from the team, asking if I'm okay, if I need to talk. I haven't answered any of them. I don't know what to say. How do you explain that you're losing yourself, that the person they used to know is slipping away?

I sigh, tossing the phone aside, and lean back on the couch. My mind drifts to the last time I saw her—the one who started all this. Just seeing her face again brought back everything I've been trying to forget. The anger, the hurt, the feeling of being powerless. That's when I started slipping, started reaching for things that made me feel in control again.

But I know this can't go on forever. I can't keep running to the store late at night, can't keep pulling on this hoodie like it's some kind of shield. And I definitely can't keep shutting Maya out.

I stand up, pacing the room as I try to figure out what to do next. The truth is, I'm scared. Scared that if I let Maya in, if I tell her everything, she'll see me for who I really am—a mess of emotions, struggling to hold it together.

But she deserves more than this. She deserves the truth, even if it's ugly.

I grab my phone again, this time scrolling to Maya's number. My thumb hovers over the call button, hesitation gripping me. What if she doesn't want to hear it? What if she's already decided that I'm not worth the effort?

But then I remember the look in her eyes, the way she said she'd be there when I'm ready to talk. Maybe she hasn't given up on me yet.

I take a deep breath and press the button, holding the phone to my ear as it rings. Each ring feels like an eternity, and I start to second-guess myself, wondering if this was a mistake.

Finally, she picks up. "Paige?" Her voice is soft, a mix of surprise and concern.

"Hey," I say, my voice cracking slightly. "Can we talk?"

"Of course," she replies instantly. "Where are you?"

"At home," I answer. "Can you come over?"

"I'll be there in a few minutes," she says, and I can hear the relief in her voice. "Hang tight, okay?"

I nod, even though she can't see me. "Yeah... see you soon."

I hang up and sit back down, trying to steady my nerves. This is it. No more hiding, no more pretending that everything's fine. I owe it to Maya, and to myself, to be honest.

Minutes later, there's a knock on the door. My heart races as I open it, revealing Maya standing there, looking at me with those eyes that always seem to see right through me.

"Hey," she says softly, stepping inside.

"Hey," I reply, closing the door behind her.

We stand there for a moment, the tension thick in the air. Then, without another word, Maya wraps her arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug. I didn't realize how much I needed that until now.

"It's okay," she whispers. "Whatever it is, we'll get through it together."

I feel tears welling up, but I blink them back, trying to stay composed. "I've been dealing with some stuff... things I haven't told anyone about."

"You don't have to go through it alone," Maya says, pulling back slightly to look at me. "I'm here, Paige. I care about you, and I just want to help."

I take a deep breath, finally ready to let it all out. "It's about her," I begin, my voice trembling. "The girl I ran into a while back... she's someone from my past. Someone who hurt me, messed with my head."

Maya's expression shifts to one of concern and understanding. "What happened?"

I hesitate for a moment before continuing. "She's the reason I've been acting different. I started smoking again, going out late... trying to feel like I'm in control. But it's not working. I'm just... I don't know who I am anymore."

Maya listens, her eyes never leaving mine. "Paige, you're still you. You're just going through something tough, but that doesn't change who you are deep down."

I nod, but I'm not sure I believe it. "I've been shutting everyone out, especially you. I didn't want you to see this side of me."

Maya gently cups my face, making sure I'm looking at her. "Paige, I want to see every side of you. The good, the bad, everything. That's what it means to care about someone. I'm not going anywhere."

Her words hit me hard, and I finally let the tears fall. She pulls me into another hug, and this time, I let myself cry. For the first time in a long time, I feel like maybe things will be okay.

After a while, we sit down on the couch together, and I tell her everything. About the past, about my fears, about the person I've been trying to hide. And through it all, Maya just listens, holding my hand and reminding me that I'm not alone.

By the time I finish, I feel lighter, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I don't have all the answers, but I know I can start figuring things out now. With Maya by my side, maybe I can find my way back to the person I used to be—or even better, the person I want to become.

"Thank you," I say softly, looking at Maya with a newfound sense of hope.

She smiles, squeezing my hand. "Anytime, Paige. We'll get through this, one step at a time."

And for the first time in a long time, I believe her.

A/N trynna make Paige feel better a little next chapter