Jaspar: I Still Love You Though

One Shot: Gaby

This is a one shot. SKIP TO CHAPTER ENTITLED "PROLOGUE" FOR MY REAL SERIES.

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"Caspar I'm home," Joe announced, looking around the room for a sign of his roommate. Caspar was curled up on the sofa, shaking silently.

"Caspar?" Joe walked hesitantly towards the boy. Caspar squinted up at him, his face red and streaked from tears. "Are you okay?" Joe asked, trying to be gentle. Seeing Caspar like this made him feel useless, sad, and nervous.

"Gaby-" Caspar let out. His voice cracked. "She broke up with me." He breathed in heavily, closing his eyes.

Joe was surprised when his first reaction was relief. He felt a smile creeping upon his lips, but then his eyes locked with Caspar's. He caught himself just in time, contorting the smile into an appropriate facial expression. Caspar looked at him with confusion. "I'm sorry." Joe said. He knew Caspar would l think it meant: I'm sorry your girlfriend broke up with you. But it really meant: I'm sorry for being happy that you've broken up.

It's not that Gaby was mean. It's not that she was rude, or anything bad at all really. Joe would have been fine with her, even liked her, if only, only, she weren't dating Caspar. He just hated them together. Because together, Joe spent Friday nights alone in his room. When they kissed, Joe would look at them with a sad smile on his lips, and then look down at the ground, fiddling with his hands.

Because when Caspar was without Gaby, everything was magical. When Caspar would hug him, ruffle his hair, or kiss him on the cheek, his fingers would tremble. When Caspar called out his name, or even looked at him, Joe felt his cheeks heat up. When Caspar whispered random things in his ear, with his hot breath against his cheek: Joe was ecstatic.

Caspar stared at Joe, as if waiting for something to be said. Shit. Cheering people up. Something that he sucks at. "FIFA?" Joe suggested, hopefully.

Caspar wiped his eyes. "Sure."

While they're playing, Joe kept glancing at Caspar and thinking: he's mine now. He couldn't help it. He smiled to himself, barely paying attention to the game. He didn't notice when he was losing. He didn't notice when he shot a ball into the wrong goal post. He just sat back and smiled as Caspar danced stupidly on the couch, celebrating a goal, his arms flapping at his sides, nodding his head to invisible music. It was almost as if he had forgotten all about Gaby. Then Caspar stopped abruptly and stared at Joe, calling out his name.

"Joe."

"Joe!" Joe looked at Caspar sheepishly. "Why are you so happy? You're losing!" Caspar said with a confused smile. "Are you okay?" he asked, falling back down onto the sofa.

"I'm fine." Joe said, grinning. "I'm just happy you're happy again. That's all."

"Okay" he said, pressing his face against Joe's shoulder. He felt lips against his t-shirt. There was one layer between Caspar's lips and his skin. Joe inhaled sharply.

Caspar sensed it. He sensed Joe's stiffness. He smiled evilly. He crept his hands up Joe's chest. He patted Joe's abs. "Damn Sugg." Caspar said.

Joe rolled his eyes. "You're not too bad yourself."

"Oh stop it, you." Caspar teased, imitating Joe's voice.

Joe looked down at Caspar's lips. They soft and slightly parted. Joe could just bend down and do it. Only reason held him back. Instead he played with Caspar's hair.

"You know why she broke up with me?" Caspar whispered. "She said she didn't think I loved her enough. That I traveled too much, and she never saw me. She said that if I really wanted it to continue, I would have tried harder."

"That's rude."

"I thought I loved her, Joe. I truly, honestly, in Paris, I thought she was the one."

"Yeah." Joe stopped playing with Caspar's hair. He thanked reason for being stronger than desire.

"You know what? Maybe she wasn't. I don't think so anymore. I loved spending time with her. I liked her personality. She was beautiful and kind and sweet. But she doesn't make me laugh as hard as you do." Caspar poked Joe's nose. "You make me laugh so hard I die."

"Caspar . . ." Joe's voice trailed off. "You're too nice."

"I missed you. I wanted you both. I wanted Gaby and Joe. It didn't work out how I wanted."

Joe stared at Caspar's lips again. This time he might actually do it.

"I missed you too."

(In the process of editing . . . soz this isn't the real ending.)

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I'm currently away, so that's why I haven't been updating in a while. Go ahead, be angry. And this story sucks. Everything is terrible. Sorry. You have every right to be annoyed.