Jaspar: I Still Love You Though

One Shot: Jaspar Go Down Under

ahaha I've had a major revelation: writing anything remotely sexual in my fanfic makes me feel kind of awkward because I start thinking 'What would Joe and Caspar think if they read this?' and I have a major freak out because I don't want to creep them out and potentially ruin their relationship somehow but also like they're probably never gonna read it but they totally have internet access and could definitely find this if they wanted to but if they were good normal people then they wouldn't but who knows i totally would read fanfiction about myself and ugh it's just so weird b/c they're real people. 

Dear Joe and Caspar,

If you're reading this, please note this is entirely from my own imagination. I do not ACTUALLY think that you are genuinely in a relationship (although I wouldn't mind if you guys were haha jokes lol). I mean, these characters I'm writing are totally made up (All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental); other than the fact that I got inspiration for this scene from one of Joe's vlogs and you guys have the same names, and professions, and friends, and live in the same place. Let's be honest here, my characters are super OOC (out of character) so they can't actually be you anyways, right? OMG just please stay friends, and don't let the gayness of my fic ruin your very platonic ladsladslads friendship. Not that you ever read Jaspar fanfic anyways, right?

Apologies for my paranoid self,

a concerned Jaspar fanfiction writer

alright just had to get that out there hope it was entertaining . . . . ? 

I guess from now on, in order to have peace of mind, I'm just gonna assume that if they ever find this they're gonna find it hilarious and then read it together and have a good laugh. Aww that would be cute.

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"Caspar we've got to go!" Joe shouted from the bathroom, fixing up his hair.

"Let me just finish this last scene." Caspar mumbled back, his eyes fixated on his Mac. Caspar was kneeling on the floor, with the computer propped up on the bed.

"Honestly, you've been working on that video for 3 years." Joe groaned, walking out of the bathroom. He stood behind Caspar, watching him edit.

"Stop that. You're stressing me out." Caspar moaned. 

"I'm not doing anything!" Joe protested. "I'm waiting for you to finish."

"You're watching me, and now I feel like I'm under pressure." Caspar retorted.

"We're gonna be late!" Joe warned.

"No we're not." Caspar said stubbornly, still staring at the screen. He groaned loudly. "I just can't get this last scene. Where do you think I should cut it?" Caspar played for Joe one example. "Here? I don't I don't really like this part." Caspar played another. "What about this one?"

Joe ignored Caspar's question. "If you don't get up now I'm gonna give you a wedgie."

Caspar rolled his eyes.

"Three, two, one!" Joe screamed, grabbing Caspar by his pants. He immediately felt a tug on his junk. Caspar felt his cheeks grow warm. 

"Joe, please stop, you're cutting off circulation to my balls." 

"Serves you right for making us late!" Joe tugged again on his Calvin Kleins. The pressure was getting tighter. Caspar felt himself getting hard at the idea of Joe tugging off his underwear. He groaned.

"Honestly don't you have something better to do?" he begged.

"Sorry mate, m'fraid not." Joe smirked. "But I can tackle ya!" he shouted, jumping on Caspar and knocking the wind out of him. Caspar felt Joe's breath by his ear. He closed his eyes and prayed for himself to calm down, breathing in and out slowly. Fuck. Caspar was imagining Joe kissing his neck, and sucking on his ear. 

"Will you get up if I tickle ya?" Joe laughs, sinking his fingers into Caspar's armpits and wiggling them mercilessly. Caspar shut his armpits tight scrunching his face in agony. Lads lads lads. he chanted in his head. Think dead bunnies. But ohhhhhhh, Joe's hands were tickling his whole body. Caspar was spasming but at the same time trying to keep it under control. Fuck me, Caspar moaned in his head. Shut the fuck up! he scolded his brain. It was a full raging boner now.

Finally, Joe let go of Caspar. Caspar was gasping for air, and his cheeks were red hot fire. He pressed his body into the bed frame, just to make sure Joe wouldn't be able to notice the tent in his pants. Joe checked the time. 

"We really need to go." Joe emphasized.

"I know." Caspar said tensely. "I can't."

"Why?" 

"I just can't." Caspar snapped. 

Joe put his hands on Caspar's shoulders. "Woah." he breathed. "Yeah, you are tense. What's the matter?"

Caspar shuddered as Joe began to rub his muscles. He closed his eyes, suppressing his will to moan. "Don't touch me," he whispered, brushing off Joe's hands. He tried to focus on his computer screen.

"Caspar, I know you're not always early for things, but this is getting out of hand. You're gonna become Alfie Deyes at this pace." 

Caspar was desperate.Think of Alfie making the ugliest face in the world. Think about him making out with Nala. Think about old wrinkly Alfie Deyes. Think about Nala's dog poop. Alfie's poop. Mountains and mountains of shit. Think of  Alfie Deye's butt cheeks.

The butt cheeks did it for him. Caspar felt the blood stop rushing towards his crotch. He unclenched his muscles an took a deep breath. "Thank God for Alfie Deyes." he muttered to himself, smiling wide.

Joe looked at him oddly. "Uh, alright Caspar." 

Caspar stood up quickly and grabbed his jacket near the wall. He walked towards the door.

"Come along now, Joe!" he said, motioning for the small brunette to come over.

Joe rolled his eyes.

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Hope you enjoyed my rant + one shot. I kind of tried to make it more funny rather than angsty, sad, or sexual. It's like a sexual funny. IDK. Enjoy. :)