TO HAVE & HAVE NOT

16

Olivia

As the bright lights of Hollywood blazed on the set, Leo and I began to weave a complicated web of secrecy, retreating to the sanctuary of his dressing room amidst the bustling lifestyle of the production. It was initially exhilarating—the thrill of being hidden in plain sight, wrapped in the allure of his magnetism and the intoxicating atmosphere of the film industry.

However, it didn't take long before I left CeCe's apartment, a dim reminder of my former life, and relocated to Leo's sprawling mansion that echoed with opulence and unspoken history.

In my youth and naivety, I overlooked the precarious nature of our arrangement, convinced that such a dalliance with a man twice my age would elevate my status to stardom. I was blinded by the glitz and glamour, not fully grasping the underlying transaction: his desire for a captivating young woman alongside him, parading her through the lavish parties. At the same time, I craved his connections and access to a world that once felt distant and unattainable. The excitement of being embraced by the veneer of success made it easy to dismiss the warning signs, but deep down; I sensed an inevitable collapse lurking just outside our passionate bubble.

Yet, I was so entranced by the fantasy, the whirlwind romance, and the taste of the limelight that I chose to ignore the ticking clock of reality that predicted an ending far less glamorous than the narrative I had scripted for myself. Each stolen moment we shared felt like a glimpse into a dream-turned-nightmare, my heart edging toward the inevitable heartbreak that waited down the road, a reality I was not yet ready to confront amidst the whirlwind of desire and ambition that had pulled me into Leo's world.

Tommy had come back into my life unexpectedly, like a ghost slipping through the cracks of my memories, and the mere thought of it sent a whirlwind of emotions swirling within me. It had been a chaotic time when he moved to Los Angeles, a place pulsing with vibrant energy, especially after Chris had practically discarded me on the sidewalk like an unwanted item, leaving me vulnerable and lost in a big city that felt like a labyrinth with no exit.

And yet, as fate would have it, Tommy's return seemed like a lifeline thrown in my direction; his presence brought a sense of stability I desperately craved amidst the whirlwind of my current life.

Leo walked into the kitchen from a night out, a haze of recklessness lingering in the air, demanding me to "Take it off." I looked at him, confused and startled, unable to comprehend the sharp shift in his demeanor; he had never treated me with such aggression before. His eyes were glassy, reflecting the remnants of the hard substances he had indulged in hours prior, distorting his reality to the point where he was no longer capable of rational thought.

"Come on, let me help you to bed," I suggested gently, trying to guide him away from his erratic impulses and toward a safer, more comforting space.

Instead of accepting my offer, he shoved me away with such force that I stumbled and fell, my head colliding painfully against the counter. Instinctively, my hand shot up to my head, cradling the sharp wave of pain that radiated through me, a jarring reminder of the unexpected violence that had just unfolded.

At that moment, as the world around me blurred and my admiration for him began to shatter, I felt a chilling realization settle within me: something fundamental had changed.

What happened next was nothing short of a revelation. It was as though the man I once admired had been replaced by a stranger, someone entirely unfamiliar, and with each passing second, a deep-seated fear clawed at the edges of my resolve. It marked a visceral turning point in our relationship. This fracture would forever alter how I saw him, pushing me towards a painful reckoning with the truth of who he had become and forcing me to confront the reality that respect and admiration can quickly turn into something dark when couched in the chaos of substance abuse.