TO HAVE & HAVE NOT

67

Johnny

I excused myself from the group, feeling an overwhelming need to find Olivia. I made my way toward the women's bathroom, fueled by a growing concern that sent my heart racing. As I approached, I noticed the door slightly ajar, the bright lights spilling into the dimly lit hallway like a beacon of discomfort. A sense of dread washed over me as I walked closer, the sounds of muffled voices becoming clearer.

When I finally peered inside, my stomach dropped. There was Leo, leaning casually against the wall, a disheveled look about him that suggested he was clearly under the influence of something. But it was Olivia who truly took my breath away. She was bent over the counter with her back to me, engaged in an action that left me reeling: she was snorting a white substance. The sight of her in such a compromising position sent a wave of disappointment crashing over me. When our eyes finally met, hers widened in horror, mirroring the sickening knot forming in my chest.

Without thinking, I turned to walk away, feeling my heart shatter just a little more with each step. But before I could get far, Olivia's voice broke through the haze of my frustration and hurt.
"Johnny," she pleaded, rushing forward to grip my arm tightly. Her eyes, once captivating and full of life, now shimmered with tears and regret as they locked onto mine. I could already see the truth written across her face; she was high, trapped in a haze of substances and poor choices.

"I don't like these things," I said firmly, trying to keep my voice steady. "But I came here because you like it. And then I find you in the bathroom getting high?" The words poured out, tinged with disappointment and confusion.

"Johnny, you don't understand," she whined, her voice quavering as the first tear slipped down her cheek.

"I won't understand if you don't tell me what's going on," I insisted, my frustration mixing with a protective instinct. I took a moment to gauge her expression, noting the conflict etched into her brow as she processed my words. "Is it Leo?" I asked, my voice steady despite the tumult of emotions churning within me.

"What?" she replied, her face morphing into one of shock, as if I had struck a nerve.

"Is there something going on between you two? Because both of you keep ending up in the bathroom together." I took a deep breath, forcing my voice to soften. "Please, I'm begging you to tell me right now. I can't handle having my world shatter apart again."

"Johnny, no," she said, clutching onto my shirt, her grip a mix of desperation and fear. "It's nothing like that. I know it looks that way but there's nothing going on between us."

I felt a flicker of hope igniting within me as I replied, "I trust you, Olivia. I trust you with my heart." I wanted to believe her, to hold onto that trust like a lifeline amidst the storm I found myself in.

"I know that," she cried, her voice cracking as she desperately sought reassurance. "I won't hurt you." That promise rang in the air between us, heavy and poignant.

I exhaled deeply, the tension in my shoulders loosening, if only slightly. "Okay, are you ready to go?" I asked, eager to leave this nightmare behind us.

"Yeah, let's leave," she said, her voice regaining a hint of its usual softness. As we walked out together, I hoped against hope that the road ahead would be one of healing and understanding, rather than the one lined with heartbreak and chaos we had just stumbled through.

Once we managed to return to our hotel room after what felt like an eternity of chaos outside, a heavy silence enveloped us. I quickly shed the confines of my suit, swapping it for something far more comfortable. The weight of the day pressed heavily upon my shoulders, but my mind was still racing, a whirlpool of emotions that I couldn't quite articulate. I couldn't bring myself to speak; there was an unspoken understanding that words were insufficient for the pain we both felt.