Monkeywrench Oneshot | Headcannons

Story: Noooooo...t...again! (Scritch and Scratch)

A request by Carlo9monkey.

The black cat couldn't believe his luck. A few minutes ago that assassin Kara has ruined his fortune to claim the bounty and the squid boy and Tyneen didn't make it any easier for him. No one expected what happened next. Not too far away Scritch noticed something floating around in space.

Tapping on the black cats shoulder they both looked at the object with wide eyes.

It was Norbert the bird. He pretended to swim around in his space suit. It didnt take long till another bounty was claimed on this bird but this time...his mother wants him back on their planet. The amount of pixels was the same as the last one, fair enough for Scratch. However this trip takes twelve days instead of six.

"Scritch get that bird."

Saluting his partner the orange cat flew closer to that bird. Not even ten minutes and he was with the cats on the ship. Scratch couldn't believe his luck; he had to pinch himself in case it was a dream. It wasn't, "OHHHHH Goooooooodie!"

Well...not so goodie was the trip home.

That bird took a lot more than Shrikes last nerves. Their fridge with the best quality of sushi has vanished over the week. His excitements for buttons caused the ship to malfunction several times. Or he just used Scratch to ease his boredom. One thing is for sure; never pet a cat against their fur. The black cat jumped at the feeling throwing the last pieces of food in the air. Scritch kept his distance to make sure he won't get in the way of murdering the bird. Scratch was close to tear his feathers out. All this happened in one week. The next Scratch had to keep his cool to fly the ship in peace. Norbert tried to get his attention by poking his sides for fun. The black cat growled deeply before yelling at his partner, "Scritch, get that damn bird out of my sight!!!" The orange cat tried, but how? The ship was too small to let the bird be alone for a few minutes. And the last time they did so the inside of the litter box was floating about. "We are not going to survive this aren't we?" asked Scratch while pinching himself. Nope, it wasn't a dream.

Suddenly the ship came to a halt.

Something wasn't right. Scratch checked if anything was wrong with the ship and called Scratch what he is up to. Well the orange cat didn't do anything...but Norbert has certainly done something. He had shut down the system by breaking the emergency switch. Scratch's eyes went wide with tears knowing that this will cost them a fortune again. Unfortunately that switch also is connected to send out a signal to other ships nearby. Scratch tried everything, even damaging the board to stop this signal from going out.

To his annoyance someone responded to the call.

And it was someone he didn't want to see all too soon.

The sight of a certain squid made Scratch fur stand up, "No...not you!"

Shrike sighted deeply while looking just as annoyed into the screen, "Finally we have something in common...what do you want?"

"Nothing you can cancel this call. We have not problems here."

Shrike raised a brow hearing the emergency sirens while a very familiar sound was heard in the back ground. The squid boy got tense, "What was that?"

"None of your business!" Scratch couldn't find the button to cancel the call. Destroying the board wasn't the best idea...the button fell to the ground. Shrike watched as the tail from the black cat wandered over the screen while the rest of the body was looking for the button underneath the board. Shrike's eyes widened as a certain bird came into view waving at him, "huhuuuuu".

"NORBERT?! Not you again!" He hasn't recovered form that birds torture hoping to cancel the call himself. But a certain orange cat beats him to it by making a few gestures at Scratch. The black cat didn't like it, "NO, absolutely not! We are not giving them the bird!"

"I don't want that bird!" yelled Shrike in protest.

Scratch ignored him while talking to Scritch, "WE need that bounty more than ever. Just tie up that lunatic for one week and everything will be fine."

"...Good luck with that..." said Shrike trying to hold back his chuckles. He ran out of tape to keep the bird down but somehow Norbert knew how to escape every single time. Would he tell the black cat? Of course not.

Scritch begged him to give it up, probably saying more than we can understand as Scratch started to scream out annoyed, "Fine!!!!! Squid boy, Amigo...would you like to help an old friend out?"

At the bucket, Shrike had to give Beebs the gesture to keep his mouth shut while he watched the black cats big round eyes tearing up, "...No Amigo...no pixel in this galaxy would I go through with this bird, especially ..."

"noooo?" he heard from the distance. A chill went down Shrikes spine, "...that one."

"How about you take him and we split that bounty fifty to fifty."

Beebs tired to reason with Shrike but his narrowed eyes were clearly saying no, "That bird took my last nerves. No money in the world can fix that." He turned back to the screen, "And you!" he pointed at Scratch, "I rather go free pizza for a month than letting that bird back on my ship." While they kept talking Norbert had destroyed the artificial gravity making everyone fly around inside. Scratch was really having a hard time not to get aggressive, "Trinity gives me strength. Scratch, get rid of that bird. I dont care how!" To Norbert's luck they let him off at the nearest ink station. The damage on his ship and the humiliation against the squid boy was just too much to handle. And one thing was for certain, no money is worth this torture.

A week later the cats well as everyone else heard the latest news. The treasure of Queen Tyneen has been found scattered in space. Bounty hunters and nearby citizens got their before the police could secure the area. What no one said was that a certain Bird was the cause of this incident.

If he ever got home alive...was unknown.