chapter eighteen - jealousy, jealousy

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Author's Note

Prepare yourselves.

(** we're just gonna pretend this gif is night time, ok?)

(** we're just gonna pretend this gif is night time, ok?)

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unedited.

Although most of us were initially uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping yards away from walkers, the group fell asleep hours ago.

I volunteered to take watch, a first in days. But it made everyone feel better to know that someone was keeping an eye on the barn.

I chose to sit far from the group, near the middle of the field where there were some stray stacks of hay and a few discarded logs. I was concealed by the towering blades of wheat and grass.

It was eerily silent.

I eyed the barn warily. A million thoughts ran rampant around my head.

We have to get rid of the walkers.

I have to tell Glenn about the virus.

I have to make things crystal clear with Shane.

I have to let go of Rick.

I took a deep wavering breath, picking at the blades of grass absentmindedly. I knew even if I wasn't on watch, I wouldn't be getting a wink of sleep tonight.

Crack!

My gun was aimed and ready as I jumped to my feet and spun around.

"I come in peace."

I lowered the weapon instantly, pocketing it and slumping back down to the ground. I kept my gaze stubbornly locked on the barn.

He settled in next to me, resting his elbows on his bent knees. There was something in his hand, but I didn't bother to look.

"Couldn't sleep?" I murmured.

"No," said Rick quietly. "Have too many things on my mind."

I nodded. Still, I couldn't find the courage to look at him. I didn't know what I'd find. Judgement, disgust, disappointment?

Any of the above I simply couldn't handle.

"Y'know, while you were gone, I talked to Lori," Rick began casually. The air I was holding in my lungs rushed out in relief.

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⏰ Last updated: Sep 10 ⏰

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