ONE RULE • THE WALKING DEAD

chapter fifteen - under pressure

True to his word, Shane had poured us each a glass of whiskey and then put the bottle back behind the counter. He sat a respectable distance away as we sipped slowly, surrounded by dust-covered chairs and bottles.

"It don't bother you?"

"Hmm?" I shot my gaze toward him, having been lost in a daydream. He took a long sip of whiskey.

"How Rick is all over you all the time. I mean, hell he tries to make decisions for e'rybody."

My eyebrows knitted together in confusion, wondering what had brought such a random topic up. I shrugged, "he wants the best for all of us. I don't think he means to be overbearing."

"So you agree?" Shane rumbled. "He is overbearing?"

"Uh no, I didn't mean it in that way specifically. I just meant that I understand your perspective—"

"Because you see, it looked to me like he didn't want you to come out here. Makes you think maybe he isn't confident in your skills."

I wanted to argue back, try to defend the man I was growing to care about so deeply, but then I had the startling realization that Rick Grimes was still an enigma to me. I didn't know him as much as his former partner did.

I guess I took too long to answer because Shane continued. "I mean, he came out here all by himself, no problem. You try to do it and he coddles you."

The sudden intensity of the topic threw me off. I felt off-balance, trying to defend Rick but I couldn't get the words out. Because Shane sounded so convincing I wasn't quite sure what I believed.

"You see, me? I know what you're capable of, Daphne. That's why we work so well together. Look at what we've built. This group. Getting them to safety. Keeping us alive. We built that from the ground up, you and me."

And Glenn. I thought silently. But my mind was riddled with too many thoughts to even correct him.

I almost missed how simple things were before, when we still had hope that maybe things would be solved and life could go back to normal. That the infection was just a temporary disaster crisis.

"Um, yeah," I finally forced myself to speak, taking a large gulp of whiskey. It burned its way down my throat. "Thanks for the vote of confidence. I wouldn't have come out here if I couldn't handle myself. I just—"

I had no idea what prompted me to start speaking so openly but the words started spilling out.

"I can't stand not doing anything. Not contributing... I think I've grown into this leadership position. I mean, I didn't like it at first, but now I feel a sense of responsibility toward these people. Especially towards Glenn, Carl and Lori. I mean, we only had each other at the start."

I nearly downed the entire glass.

"So I had to do something. I feel recovered and it was time for me to start pulling my own weight around here," I finished in one breath.

"I understand exactly what you mean, Daph," said Shane. "Rick's just one of those overachiever types. He sees a room and wants to take control of it. It's what's happening here. He might think he knows what's best for the group, but he hasn't known them long enough like we have. We did this. We banded them together, not him."