restless

tsop

you should stop doing this to yourself.

what?

stop doing this to yourself.

stop letting people step on you.

stop letting people treat you like shit.

stop.

just stop.

you think it's that easy? that i should just stand up for myself and tell them to fuck off? you think it's that easy to break ties with these people when they're the only ones i have? when at the end of the day, they're the people i try and hold on to? 

you're not getting this, are you? i'm not saying it's easy. i'm saying that you deserve better!

honestly, they treat you like you were a lower life form, like you were nothing compared to them, and that's not how it works. in fact, you're more than what they say, more than what they compare you to, more than they themselves. 

do you know why?

...

because you have to put up with them treating you like mere dust on their shoes. everyday, you still put up with them, even though they inflict their knives and their goddamn stones at you. i wouldn't even be surprised if i see you jump off a cliff for them. you stay with them, with a true heart and a fading hope that one day, they'll see what you do and they'll change.

but i tell you this, how can they change when you yourself can't? 

...

you tell them of what they do, and you tell them how you feel about it, how pained you are that they scar you, but it's never going to be enough. it will never be, unless you face the fact that you don't need to depend on them, that you don't need to be the one to change them, that you don't need them to be yourself. 

...

you know what your problem is? you think you're nothing without them but the truth is, without them, you are everything. when you are with them, you mask yourself to the point that you lose whoever you are inside, and that's not good at all. they shouldn't be the ones defining you. their knives, their stones and their bullets shouldn't be the ones defining you.

you define yourself. you change for yourself. you change, not for anyone's benefit or desire, but because you want to. make yourself happy because you deserve it. no one has the right to take that away from you, not even your "friends". 

you say that if you break ties with them, you'll have no one left. but god forbid, you do have someone there for you. you have yourself, and i know it might not be much, but it's enough. 

you're good enough.