restless

ceipse

i'm scared.

good lord, what time is it?

i'm fucking scared.

so?

you don't get it. this... this is a different kind of scared.

if i ask you to stop right there, will you?

probably not.

might as well make most of the time left in our hands. 

do enlighten us of your life changing thoughts that are clearly more important than the human body repairing itself.

...

well? 

...

...

i don't know.

you don't know? wow. you woke me up and all i get is an i don't know? i thought we were better than this!

...

...

i just...i just don't know, okay?

people give pieces of themselves so often and it's either you get one of theirs in return or they leave and never give them back.

you're scared because they'll never give them back?

well, partly i do. i feel like i gave the wrong people the right pieces of me and right now, i'm left with nothing but the torn pieces, the ugly ones. i don't want people to have them. they'll be scarred by the jagged ends of them and i don't want that.

you know what you're missing here?

what?

you're not made of good and bad pieces. you're made of you and it depends on how people perceive the pieces you gave them to be, if they were good or bad or if they were neither. you are not left with the bad pieces. you're left with with the pieces you don't like and that's insane because you know, you're a really amazing person. truly. we are each other's most complicated critics and we always... always fail to see that.

no one deserves to feel less than what they actually are.

so what do i do now?

you keep doing it. you continue giving those pieces, whether they're jagged or perfectly sculpted. you never know what that may mean to people.

but what if i run out of them? what if i lose myself?

you know, if you do such things: giving pieces of yourself to everyone you meet, you'll realize that you'll never actually run out of pieces. because as you give one, you subconciously and slowly create another piece of you and it might not be that much at first, but i tell you it will be as beautiful as the others, as you beautiful as who you are.