Healing Hurts (Anakin Skywalker)

Chapter 1: Meditation

Anakin Skywalker had been through a lot in the past 11 years: training at the temple, missions with his master (both thrilling and terribly, terribly boring), harrowing escapes, bodyguard duty, encountering not one but TWO siths, witnessing his mother's tragic death, nearly being killed, losing his hand in a duel, and last but not least - becoming a general in the Clone Wars.

But even in all of that misery, he still had his light - his mystery girl.

As they both grew older, Anakin's visions of her began to change. Or maybe it was her who changed? Something was happening, but Anakin was simply never able to piece the puzzle together to figure it out. In fact, it took him much too long to notice.

But he did.

Having just returned from their mission to return Jabba the Hutt's rather stinky mini hutt, Obi-Wan had somehow convinced Anakin that one of his first training sessions with Ahsoka should include meditation. Of course it wasn't Anakin's favorite thing to do, and Ahsoka had fought against the older jedi as well. I've practiced meditation practically my whole life - teach me something new!

In the end, Anakin realized that Obi-wan was right. Meditation was the foundation to utilizing the force. It was a skill that should be upheld and practiced frequently, no matter how skilled the jedi. So there they sat - master and padawan - in the temple gardens with their eyes closed as they worked to connect to the force.

"Ugh, master! Can't we just- I don't know. Maybe we could practice lightsaber technique? That would be good practice for the field-"

"We're not on the field right now, Ahsoka. I was given three weeks to begin your training at the safety of the temple, and that's what we're going to do."

"But Bariss has already started it! We became padawans at the same time, so surely I-"

Anakin peaked one eye open, gazing at the togruta in annoyance. He'd wanted to cave in for sure - teaching meditation wasn't the most... entertaining thing they could be doing with their time. But they were at war, and if-

"If you cannot connect to the force quickly and easily, like breathing air, it could mean the difference between life and death on a battlefield. It's like muscle memory - the more often you practice, the easier it will be. Now close your eyes and get going." He groaned, feeling his patience begin to wear thin.

And it was then that he felt it - that cold sensation in his chest, like a block of ice had replaced his heart. He furrowed his brow and turned to look at the gentle stream beside him. He clenched his fist uncomfortably while his thoughts drifted away to his mystery girl on a mystery world.

"Master? You okay?"

His attention quickly drifted back to his padawan. He nodded and gave her a teasing grin. "Weren't you supposed to be doing something?"

The togruta sighed in defeat. "Fine, fine," she said as she plopped herself down on the ground just in front of a massive, towering tree. "I'm meditating."

"Doesn't sound like it," he remarked, holding back a chuckle. "Alright, Snips. Get back to it. I'm going to do some meditation of my own."

Yeah... meditation. He definitely wasn't about to hone in on the girl's presence to try and force a vision of her. He wasn't that weird, right?

No, he was.

With his legs crossed and his hands resting gently on his knees, Anakin closed his eyes and drew in a deep, purposeful breath. As he breathed out, he searched through the force to find her familiar signature, and latched onto it as tightly as he could. He didn't struggle to hold on to it - it was oddly... quiet. Calm, even. A bit calmer than Anakin was used to, actually. And it was certainly still emitting the cold that Anakin had felt flowing through his veins only moments ago. He furrowed his brow once again, but quickly relaxed once he felt his focus fading.

Finally, the darkness twisted into a foggy image. It was the same as always - Anakin watched from afar, almost like watching a holoshow. He couldn't walk around, or look around the room. He couldn't speak, or otherwise interact with the girl. Finally, after another moment or so of focusing, the image began to clear.

The first thing Anakin noticed was the atmosphere swelling with uncertainty. The image centered on the girl - his girl, his light, his reason for fighting - who was resting on the couch with her feet tucked underneath of her. She wore a thin, plush blanket over her shivering legs, using one hand to pull it closer to her while her tired head rested in the other. Her cheeks were rosy again, he noted. It was something that he'd noticed a few months prior - her once clear face seemed to always be red and irritated now.

An older woman - the girl's mother - rested on the other side of the couch with her brows furrowed in worry. She glanced between the girl and the screen in front of them nervously, clenching on to the steaming mug in her hands.

"Look at that - they found a case in New Haven." The older woman's expression was grim. "That's only a few miles away."

The younger girl's expression was nearly unreadable, but Anakin could feel that she was fearful. It was rolling off of her in waves as she stared at the screen in what he could only assume was disbelief.

"You need to be careful," the woman spoke again. "Did you see what they were saying about New York? How it's killed so many people that the morgues and hospitals are overrun? I've heard rumors about mass burials, too! How anyone could claim this is fake, I'll never know."

"I'm leaving," A gruff voice called out from behind the two, as his quick feet thudded against the wooden stairs.

The girl looked lazily over her shoulder, while her mother rose from the couch in a panic. "Leaving? Where are you going? They're calling for a lockdown."

"I know," he nodded. "We're going to need some supplies to last us a while so that we don't have to risk it. Well, so that you don't have to risk it."

"What do you mean?" Her mother fully turned around to face the man, worry evident in the creases on her forehead. "Surely you can't mean-"

"Look, I work at the hospital. If I don't go, I could just bring that virus here to you both. I won't risk it. No one knows anything about this thing. I'm just... going to rent an air bnb for a while. Just until things calm down."

The girl looked to the ground, trying to keep her face from scrunching up.

"Rob, don't be ridiculous. Sure, we'd have to be extra careful. Maybe we could set up a station outside for when you get back? You can change and sanitize, then immediately take a shower when you get home. You can't really be thinking of leaving us here?!" At the man's silence, the woman stepped forward. "She's been having problems, what if you're not here and it gets worse?"

"She's just tired and a little depressed, Emily. Nothing more. Vena will be fine."

The girl's face quickly flashed from concern to anger. "It's more than that," she whispered. But the two continued to argue. "Why don't you believe me?"

She went unanswered.

Anakin focused his sights on the girl, looking her over for any signs as to what she was feeling. He very quickly picked up on anger, then frustration, and then finally landed on hurt. The icy feeling in his chest raged once again. He wanted to reach out to her, to ask her what was happening and tell her it was okay. That she was okay. It was something he needed to hear for himself. If anything, this new vision was just... inconclusive. And he didn't like not knowing what was going on.

She was okay, right?

When Anakin snapped back to reality, he released a long, deep breath as he felt the ice slowly retreat from his chest. His padawan sat across from him in complete silence, seemingly unaware of the vision he had just experienced. He shifted and then attempted to meditate again, but he was unsuccessful. He couldn't get the thoughts from his mind once he remembered the conversation he'd witnessed.

More specifically, what it implied.

A viral outbreak. Hospitals overrun. Morgues full. 

Mass burials.

Force, please let her stay safe. Let her be safe. He thought to himself, his eyes settling on the togruta in front of him. She'll be fine.