Hey everyone. I know it's been a few months and I apologize; it's been rough. My grandma was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and it spread it her brain. They did survey to remove the brain tumor and well, they made her so much worse. Ever since they removed the tumor she's been nothing but hateful. She says cruel things to my mom and I, and yes we know she's not in her right state of mind, but that doesn't make what she says hurt any less. She's done nothing but treat us awful, despite everything we've done for her. We've been looking out for her for months since she didn't want to be put in a nursing home or assistant living. Now she claims she rather die than be here with us, which I think hurts more than anything else.My family doesn't seem to even understand. They say since I'm in high school I don't need to stress about these things and that I shouldn't get too upset, and yet they can get upset and not me? Like seriously? I'm a senior in high school; I don't need all this crap. We don't have enough money to put her somewhere where they'll they take care of her. We're struggling to get by enough as it is with all the money we spent on her chemotherapy, which we stopped since she didn't want it anymore. She's just completely gave up. Whoever this is now, is not my grandmother. I know that may seem cruel, but it's the truth. My grandmother was never hateful, cruel or unkind. She never yelled at me over something stupid like cigarettes. Or get mad when things don't go the way she wants it. Now that's all she ever is. I don't even want to be near her anymore. My mental health is horrible and she isn't helping at all.
My family always gets mad when I get upset and I'll admit, I say things I shouldn't, but I always apologize. I just get so angry. Hell that's who I am anymore and I don't like it. I'm mentally exhausted and to the point where I feel like giving up sometimes. No matter what we do she never listens nor does she care! I'm basically forced to watch my grandmother die! She wakes us up at like 3am calling for us cause she doesn't know where she is even though we're at home; every night she does this. Do I fault for this? Of course not. She can't help it and doesn't know what she's doing. But it sucks when she doesn't that on a school night. I need sleep, especially since I already have difficulty sleeping enough as it is.
I'm sorry for writing this long ass author's note, but I needed to vent. Can't really go anywhere else to vent since no one, but my best friend understands.
I'll try to start writing the next chapter soon and hopefully get this book back on track. Can't promise it'll be soon though. But I do have a lot of books in my drafts that'll I'll hopefully publish soon.
Thank you all for being patient and understanding. I hope y'all have a wonderful day or night depending on where y'all are at.
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Orphic~ Twilight/The Hobbit/Maleficent
FanfictionOrphic (adj.) mysterious and entrancing, beyond ordinary understanding. Natasha Volturi's life was anything but happy. Born just before the end of WW1 and lived through WW2 and the Holocaust. After everything she ended her own life, only to be save...