Brake check- autistic Oscar Piastri, ADHD Lando Norris

6: friends

Oscar's POV:

It was my last day at the MTC and in the U.K. before I flew back to Monaco. Lando was flying out later this week because he had some Quadrant stuff to film. We were meeting up out there. He'd convinced me to play some padel with him and the Williams boys. I was nowhere near good enough but for us both to spend time with friends of our's and each other was going to be nice.

He also opened up about the fact that the day before our game, he was playing golf with Carlos. "I'm going to tell him about the ADHD."

"You haven't yet?" I said more surprised than I should have sounded but I'd been working on not masking when I didn't need to (Kasper said it was good for me).

"No, I just haven't had the chance and it's not like something we've ever even talked about. I don't want him to hate me but I want him to understand."

"I get it." I did get it. Sort of. It just wasn't the same for me and Logan. Whilst he hadn't known me forever, he'd known me for so long and we'd been close for so long, that he had his suspicions. Even if the word 'autism' didn't come to mind, we both knew I wasn't quite normal. It was a recognised part of our friendship. I have other friends (many I'd made in the grid since joining) who I was petrified of telling but we're nowhere near as close as Carlos and Lando are.

"What if he hates me?"

"He won't!"

"Okay but what if he doesn't get it? Like he fully just doesn't understand what I mean and thinks I'm just making it all up."

"Maybe send him a website?" I was doing my best to be practical but Lando wasn't impressed.

"What and send it in Spanish too?"

"If you want to?"

"Ugh!"

"He's your friend, he'll get it. And you're still you. The label is new, you aren't."

"But like with the unmasking you said, that's like a new part of you."

I sighed, "when I talked to my mum about it she said that those closest to us know our deepest parts even if we don't want them to. He knows Lando. Even if he doesn't have a label, he wouldn't have missed you being late or chaotic or the hyperfocus or the running off. Just like Logan didn't miss the lack of eye contact, intense anxiety about everyone else's feelings and insane ability to act like racing was the only thing that existed."

"I guess so."

"Maybe write it down."

"God he'll think I'm proposing my love for him or something! I can't do that!" He laughed and face palmed.

"You don't have to read it off the paper, just write down the general idea maybe. We're still new to all of this, give yourself at least a rough idea of what you want to tell him."

"That's not bad."

"Hey, I have good ideas... sometimes."

"Just sometimes you muppet."

"Plus you can message me!"

"I know, I'm really grateful that you're willing to talk so much about this."

"Thanks for letting me. Talking about it to you has given me a chance to work out how I want to explain it to people."

"You're telling me I've been your explanation Guinea pig?"

"Sort of?" I laughed.

"Ah well that's mint mate, absolutely mint." We laughed and it was nice.

Lando's POV:

Carlos and I were messaging about meeting up. I didn't find it particularly easy to keep track of things but had been so nervous about meeting him for golf that I hadn't forgotten about it yet. Then I got a bit of a surprise message.

'I've got a contract for next year'

'Oh? Who with?' I automatically assumed it was an f1 contract because he was too good of a driver to be going anywhere else and he hadn't mention wanting some years in any other racing categories.

'Williams.'

Jesus christ! The Carlos Sainz Jr driving at Williams?! I thought it was some kind of joke but he seemed happy. Well not happy, but he seemed to think it was the best choice for him. I wasn't going to argue on it but I was just so surprised. I often missed the days of when we were team mates at McLaren. Now I wondered what it would have been like if I'd been diagnosed earlier. If I could have really been myself. But maybe we wouldn't be so close.

I've not exactly tried to be someone else, it's not like the masking Oscar's been doing. I am myself but I've just been hating myself for it? Now I'm trying not to as much.

A small part of my brain realised that meant Logan would be out of a seat, not that no one was expecting, just that it was still difficult. I was more worried for Oscar and how it would affect him. Losing another person on the grid he feels comfortable with, asking for help and so on. But I tried to just focus on Carlos instead.

I eventually congratulated him and we carried on talking about the golf course we were going to. I got an early night because I had some Quadrant filming tomorrow but couldn't find the sleep I needed. After getting up to go to the toilet for the 3rd time I decided put a podcast on until I fell asleep. I woke up later in the night, phone stuck to the side of my face, still playing the podcast. I turned it off, put my phone on charge and went back to sleep.

We'd put so much effort into my sleep schedule over the years but it just wasn't working at the moment. Maybe I'd email Jon about it tomorrow. He'd been the one to help me realise that podcasts help me sleep and maybe he'd have something else I can try. Maybe it was okay for me to try things. Maybe it was okay if some of those things helped me. I don't need to hate the way I am anymore. 

A/n Hey! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, definitely still a lot more to come so watch out! Thanks for reading and commenting, I really appreciate it.