Brake check- autistic Oscar Piastri, ADHD Lando Norris

11: calm

Oscar's POV:

"Look, an odd one, you know where Lando lives right?"

"Yea?" I said, half asleep. I'd fallen asleep watching something on Netflix and a phone call from Max Fewtrell of all people had woken me up.

"Can you go round? I would ask someone else but you're the only one in Monaco who knows about the ADHD and he's lost it."

"Meltdown?"

"Yea, big one. I know he's not been out the house in a couple days, think since he saw Carlos but he wouldn't say. Then we were playing fifa and I was asking him how padel was because I knew that it was supposed to be today and he's just lost it. I've been calling but he won't answer and I'm worried."

"I'll see if I can get through to him and if I can't after a couple calls I'll go round anyway?"

I carried on talking to Max for a couple minutes. Him asking if it was okay or if he was overstepping it. I promised him I'd call Lando and we could talk again afterwards. On the phone call, Lando didn't talk and I was surprised he'd answered the second time after Max had been saying how hard it was. Still, I got my bag (still mostly packed from the last time I'd gone round) and got a taxi over again.

I knocked on the door, only to find it was open. I hoped it meant he was still inside and relaxed immediately after seeing a mound under the covers in his bedroom. I went back to the front door and locked it before poking my head round his bedroom door. "I'm here but I'm just going to sit in the lounge. When you feel ready, you can come out and talk or just sit." I tried to keep my voice calm and slow and mask it so it wasn't as overwhelming as it was when I didn't try so hard.

Then I sat down on the sofa in the lounge and sat on my phone. I didn't exactly time it, but it had been about half an hour (mostly spent texting Max) before Lando sat down on the opposite sofa, a blanket still over him and covering his face.

"I messed up," he said sadly, not looking at me.

"What did you do?" I asked simply.

"I didn't tell Carlos about me," he sniffled and grabbed the blanket closer.

"That's okay, I know you wanted to but maybe you just weren't ready or-"

"No," he interjected. "I told him about you."

I furrowed my brows and looked at him, unsure how exactly I was supposed to react but also unsure of what I was actually feeling. "You told him about me? About me being autistic you mean?" He nodded. "Right, why?"

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I thought maybe if I told him about you and he reacted well it would make me feel brave enough to tell him about me, but he got all funny and asked some stupid stuff and he seemed surprised and your stuff is so much more believable than mine and I just gave up and couldn't spit it out and it's so stupid and I hate myself for it. And I've been too scared to text you or call you because you're going to hate me and you should hate me because I shouldn't have done that but now I can't eat or sleep or do anything without feeling guilty and it's killing me! I'm sorry Oscar, I know I've fucked up."

I sat for a moment, silently, trying to process everything he just said. I still didn't know how I felt about what he'd done and I was struggling to stay calm when I knew I was supposed to be the one helping him calm down. There was part of my brain living in the days of Alpine but I shut it down. Now was not the time. It's going to be different.

Lando's POV:

Oscar went all quiet and I thought he might just leave. I wish Max hadn't called him. I wish I'd picked up when Max was calling, then this might not have happened.

"I'm sorry you felt so scared to tell Carlos."

I didn't know what to say, I was crying quietly, I wiped some of the tears and pulled the blanket up closer. Being hidden under it felt safer.

"But I'm not happy you told Carlos without me saying you could. I'm just as scared of telling people as you are. The only difference Lando is that I've been brave and you can be too, if you weren't so scared of actually having ADHD." It felt like the start of an argument and I opened my mouth to speak before realising how true it was.

"I'm sorry."

"I want to talk to Carlos, explain it from my side, but I don't want to do it by myself." He then said, not looking at me, his legs jumping up and down in anxiety. His voice wasn't showing any emotion, but his body was starting to betray him a little. My heart was in my throat.

"I'll be there," I said quietly, "and I'll tell him."

"You can tell him about the ADHD whenever you want to but he knows about me now and that means we need to talk whether I like it or not."

"I'm really sorry Oscar."

"I know, which is why I decided not to get angry even though I think that's how I'm feeling."

"I know I've messed up, trust me."

"I mean it's clear your mental health hasn't been good since it happened. And you haven't wanted to see me or talk to me. I'm just glad it hasn't gone horribly."

"Huh?" I murmured, wiping tears away.

"I was worried it had gone so badly with Carlos you'd shut yourself away. Or alternatively I guess, that it had gone so well that you didn't 'need' me anymore."

"I'm sorry I worried you. And uh, I definitely still need you."

"Nope, I'm glad you're okay so let's move on. You made a mistake, you've owned up to it, you've apologised, that's that." He got up from the sofa and moved to the kitchen, checking the fridge. "Well, I was going to make you a tea but you've still got no food."

"I've been a bit of a mess."

"I know, have you got a session with Kasper this week?"

"I cancelled the one I was supposed to have on Tuesday."

"And did you reschedule?"

"No... well not yet."

"Okay, and will you?"

"Maybe."

"Is it helpful?"

"Yea, well sort of."

"Okay and do you think you could do with that help right about you?" He looked at me with a stern impression which basically told me that I was being an idiot about this when I didn't need to be.

"Probably." I looked at me, still stood in the kitchen. It was the first time I'd probably looked at him since he came in. "But I'm scared?"

"Why?"

"I've only ever done it with Jon, I don't know how to do it without him."

"Could you ask to do an online one with him there as well?"

"He's on holiday, I can't."

"Okay, and you don't think you can do it without him at all? Not even if you told him you were nervous and you just took the session slow?"

"Maybe." I was feeling so much like a little kid with the blanket still tucked around me, but it felt like I wouldn't survive this conversation without it. I didn't how understand how Oscar was so calm, so unaffected. As quickly as his body had betrayed him, he'd taken back the control.

"Chicken nuggets again?" Oscar asked simply, and I nodded in reply. I was worried he was going to blow up any second but he still seemed so calm. How was he still so calm?

A/n Hey! Still a lot more to happen in this story but here's the 'second part' to Lando's meltdown. I hope you all enjoyed and thank you for reading!