Destiny's Game

Chapter 7

Staying in the dorm was good. Very, very good.

For two months, I don't have to wake up so early, unless my class is at 7:30 in the morning. I can stay in bed up until 7 am if my class is eight in the morning. I can't hear Gem's voice, and him being persistent to wake me up, so we can go to school as early as it can be. I don't need to rush in or hurry to get myself ready. The dorm is only a five-minute walk from the engineering building.

I also don't have to sleep in the rain tree aisle just to distress. I can sleep in the dorm every vacant hour. From time to time I still sleep there, especially when we only have 30 minutes of spare time, but most of the time, I sleep in the dorm. I also don't have to travel back home every day. I have a lot of time to do my assignments and paperwork.

I made the right decision for this.

Aside from those I mentioned, I also have time to with Pond. I see the other side of him.

Pond is a caring guy which I never thought he was. He always makes sure that I have food for breakfast. He is often the first to leave every morning because his class starts at seven. When I wake up, there is food on the table with a note saying that I have to eat it before I go to my class.

At night, Pond would come home with food. It's not every day though because Gem often brings us something to eat at night. Gem also often eats in the dorm because she doesn't have anyone to eat with at home. I feel sorry for him that's why I didn't complain when he had dinner in the dorm.

Besides, I can see Pond smile whenever Gem is with us.

I am not that stupid though. It's been two months since I stayed at the dorm with Pond, and he never smiles so happily when Gem is not with us. I can clearly see it. It's as clear as the sky during summer Pond like my twin brother. His smile speaks for everything. The way his eyes light up sa tuwing nakikita nya ang kapatid ko, tell me all the words that his mouth can say.

I am not stupid but I think I am martir one. I mean, I am always in pain seeing them so sweet every time Gem is with us. They sleep in the same bed and cuddle each other, but here I am, always saying that it's okay. That I am fine. That it was okay because it was my brother.

Actually, I never expect any of these. When Pond said that he would stay with me at the dorm, I got so excited. Never in my wildest imagination that I will be with Pond. That we will stay together in one room. I never imagined that I would experience the feeling of opening my eyes and he is the first person that I would see. When I close my eyes, he is the last person I will see, and his good night and sweet dreams are the last words I will hear before  I close my eyes.

But, then, everything turned into a nightmare when I slowly saw the sweetness between my brother and Pond. Their laughter is like a noise that always irritates me as days go by. I tried to ignore it, but as days passed, pain consumed me.

I always tell myself that I should be happy. I should be happy for both of them. It's okay because it's my brother that he loves and not someone else. By that, I can still see him and secretly love him. But I came to the point that I got mad at Gem.

I came to the point that I didn't go home during the weekend. I sleep at Fotfot dorm every time my brother sleeps in our dorm. There are times that I have to lie that I have to go somewhere else, meet some friends, and have dinner, just so I don't go to dinner with the two of them.

I always think, how long can I hold the pain? How long can I endure it? How long will I cry myself to sleep?

I'm so in love with Pond that I can't even save myself in pain. I'm so down bad, that I can't get up at all.

No one knows the pain I endure. Only the pillows know how long I cry every night. The moon is the sole witness of the pain I am suffering every time.

When I start questioning myself. Until then I'll be like this. Will I be able to save myself? Will there be a way? An answer suddenly came in.