Tan's Secret

Chapter 8

Tan Pov

It's a long ride, We all were tired once we reached my condo. We all decided to spend the day at my place as we will join classes starting tomorrow.

I was excited to see Fang the next day, I remember Amma's words. I feel more determined to persuade Fang, And as Amma advised I will be patient with him.

Author's Pov

Next Few days Fang ignores Tan, Whether it's a university or a cafeteria. Fang ignores Tan. He changes his path whenever he sees Tan. Tan became aware of it and thought in himself if he somewhere in their last visit by any way crossed his limit. Even after thinking so much he doesn't remember any specific incident like that.

On the other hand, Fang also feels sad. He misses Tan a lot. Unknown to Tan, he visits his building just to see him daily. But he is scared as well, All his life he has been treated like an option, and His Parent only sees him as an object to fulfil their expectations. He doesn't want his relationship to be like this. Initially, even after Tan's reputation, he believes Tan, despite his fear He believes Tan won't leave him. But after seeing his photo with some other girl his insecurity triggers. 

Tan became visibly sad and started to feel more alone and isolated. He distanced himself from others. 

For the gang they believe he is busy with his studies that's why he is not asking to spend time with them until one day.

As usual, Phum and Peem having their lunch, When Peem notice Tan. Initially he was scared that what will tan think if he knew about being Phum's Servant. But now he know Tan had seen him lot of time with Phum to care about more question. So he casually called Tan, and tan came sat with them

"Hey Peem, Phum." Tan greeted them casually.

"Tan, Where have you been? Since we came back from Dan Sai, we can't able to catch up with you..." Peem asked worriedly.

"Really since your weekend trip, you stop spending time with us as well. I thought you are spending time with them." Phum questioned Tan

"I was just busy with my assignment na jaa." Tan said with a forced smile.

 Phum and Peem nodded and decided to not push the matter further. 

Tan's Pov

It's been days since I saw Fang, It is quite obvious he is ignoring me. Even after thinking too much, I can't able to pinpoint out the reason for Fang's distance. Maybe Fang finally realises he is too much to handle and decides to not meet him. Maybe Fang realises, He is not worthy enough to waste his precious time on him.

After Fang departed from my life, I felt more alone and wanted to stay isolated from others. Although I wanted to clear my thoughts but I can't convince myself to talk to gang. They were already busy with their stuff. 

I also kept distancing myself from my Phum, mick and beer. As Phum's presence reminds me of Fang and these thoughts. I feared like Fang they also started to realise I was not worth their time and they distanced themself from me.

Maybe I was thinking too much but Fang's sudden disappearance triggered my insecurity and My mind doesn't even stoping me from thinking these scenarios. 

I start questioning myself, Why wasn't I enough? Why didn't Fang to be around me anymore? I started to feel suffocated with my thoughts. My loneliness and these thoughts pull me into the darkness, I never want to go. 

Today, I met Phum and Peem, they asked the reason for my absence but I can't able to gather the courage to tell them the truth so I lied about my work and brushed their question. I believe they believe my lie until my condo's bell rings. 

When I opened the door I saw Peem along with Q, Chain and Pun. 

"Why are you guys here?" I asked confused.

"Oh Peem said that our big bear is sad and feeling lonely so we came here to accompany you." Pun said dramatically. 

Ai Peem, Why do these idiots know me so well...

They all came inside and made themselves home, I didn't even have to tell this to them. 

"We bring food and drink, Did you already eat dinner?" Q asked me, I just denied it and sat beside them.

.

.

After a few drinks, I excused myself and went to the balcony for fresh air. I can't able to stop myself from thinking about Fang. I was in my thoughts when Chain approached me.

"What are you doing here alone?" Chain asked me.

"Just came here for some fresh air, What about you?" I replied looking at the stars.

"I came here to see my big bear... What's wrong Tan? Does choosing a different steam distance us so much that you can't even share your problem with me?... What's bothering you, Tan?" Chain asked me, I could sense the worry in his voice.

I know, he is not going to leave me until I tell him the truth, I signed before continuing "You remember I told you about my crush on someone." I asked, Chain nodded remembering our talk. "He has been ignoring me since we came back from Dan Sai, I think he finally realises that I am not worth wasting time. I guess it's good for him, but since then I felt even more lonely, Wherever I go, whatever I do, My thoughts kept on him only. I want to talk to you about it but again you have exams and others are also busy with their stuff so I don't want to bother you guys." I said slowly. As soon as I finished my sentence I received a pat on my head.

"Doesn't matter how busy we are, We were always free for you, Tan. So don't think about this bullshit again." Chain told me in a serious tone, I just nodded in agreement. "Tan, Love is very complicated, We can't just force someone to love you back just because we love them, Neither we expect them to accept their sexuality easily. Maybe the person you are talking about is not fed up with you but wanted some time to understand himself. There are several possibilities for his behaviour. You should be patient with him. And even if he is ignoring you because he thinks you are not his type or he is fed up with you, then also you can still love him from afar. One-sided Love is also beautiful Pal!." Chain said the entire statement in a serious tone except the last one. 

"Like you love someone from afar na Pal!" I said teasingly with a grin on my face. He must get my words that's why he slapped me.

"I know they were listening, that's why I didn't take his name." I said slowly into his ear, He looked back and found others trying to listen to our talk sneakily.

I can't blame them for being nosy, they were just worried for me. If I was at their place, I would be the same. They are light that always keeps me away from darkness. They would never let me go there.

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So How's this???

I always love their friendship, So I feel like writing a bit about their friendship along with Tan's insecurity.

For the next chapter, Fang starts ignoring Tan and has a bit of slow-burning jealousy. It will be against.

What do you think about this chapter?

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The End

Thank You

Love You

Your Sweet Writer

Shruti