Lighting up the darkness

Chapter nine "Running from the guilt"

On Monday, everything went smoothly, I didn’t fight with anyone, and I didn’t mess up in any of my classes. During English, I noticed that Ms. Thompson was off. She seemed really tired. She handed out some photocopies, and I noticed that her hand looked as if she had been punching someone. 

I stayed behind after class. 

“Hey Isabella, can I help you with anything?” 

“Uh, no, I just wanted to ask you how you are doing.” 

“I’m good, thank you.” She smiled. “How about you?” 

“I’m okay.” My eyes fell on her hand. “Are you sure?” 

“Yeah.” She noticed me looking… “That’s nothing. I…” She sighed. “It’s nothing.”

“Okay.” I smiled. I wasn’t convinced, but there was nothing I could do. “Well, I have to get going, I gotta get to work.” 

On Tuesday, Emily and I got in a fight again, but no one saw us, and Ms. Thompson decided that it would be a good idea to force me to participate in class by asking me a bunch of questions. By the end of the day, I was mentally drained. 

It was now Wednesday, and I was on my way to English. 

“Hey Iz.” A guy greeted me with a smile.

“Hi.” I smiled back. 

“How are you?”

“I’m good, you?”

“I’m great, thanks for asking.” He walked away. Andrew was a really popular guy, he was openly gay and he was the captain of the basketball team. He always greets me when we run into each other in the hallways. 

I sat at my usual spot and waited for the class to start. She took attendance and started the lesson. 

“Who wants to come up to the board to show us the structure of the sentence?” I lowered myself in my seat as she looked for someone. “Ms. Evans, why don’t you give it a try?” She called me, and I felt like I wanted to die. 

I got up from my seat and straightened my clothes before walking to the board, my heart started beating faster. 

I took the marker from her hand stood in front of the board. 

“Please explain as you find it” My hand was shaking, and I felt my face getting hot. I started doing exactly what she told me, and I felt as if I was going to pass out. My heart was beating really fast, I was sweating, and heat was rising to my face. 

“Perfect, you can sit now” She said as I was done. 

My hands were shaking, and I felt like crying, but I managed to keep it together until the end of the class. The bell rang, and I waited for everyone to go to leave. 

“Are you ok?” She asked me.

“Yeah” I said in a low tone.

“Are you sure? You look like you are going to pass out” 

“I might” I gave her a small smile, and she put her hand on my back and led me to sit down again. She put her hand on my forehead. 

“You are hot”

“Thank you” I smiled and she rolled her eyes.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“So you are saying I’m ugly?” I fake pouted. 

“No, of course not, quite the opposite…I meant… uh” She was now the one embarrassed and I must say, I was enjoying it, plus she just called me pretty.