Chapter Five

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EMILY'S POV

We were connecting! We were really connecting! Lute and I had managed to have a full conversation together! I smile feeling giddy as the dialogue from our conversation replays through my mind. I know I need to tell her how I feel. But I'm not exactly sure how to go about it. I didn't want to overstep, especially since she lost Adam only a few months prior.
I was so lost in my romantic daydreaming that I almost didn't notice her. She was sitting on the ground in the shadows, obviously trying to remain unseen. She was crying. Hard and silent sobs. I could feel the yearning and heartbreak coming from her.
"Lute?" I call quietly from a few feet away.
She jumps and looks up at me. "Seraphim, you... what are you doing here?"
I walk a little closer to her and study her for a moment before responding. "Just walking, but that's not important. What's the matter?"
"Don't worry about it." Her voice has an edge to it that makes me want to flinch, but I stand my ground. Something was obviously upsetting her and it breaks my heart to watch someone I care so much for hurting like this.
"I care about you Lute. And weren't you the one to tell me that talking to someone can sometimes help ease your mind?"
"I did say something like that, didn't I?" I could see her tear-stained face clearly now.
"You did." I sit down on the ground beside her. We are both silent for several beats.
"I miss him Em." Her voice is a shaky whisper.
"I know. I can't even imagine what you must be feeling."
"It hurts. It's like... a part of me died with him. Watching him take his final breath... knowing I have to move on without him... it's ripping me apart."
I look into her eyes and nod. "I'm so sorry Lute. I know it doesn't change what happened. I know how much you loved him."
"He was the only one who made me feel... validated. You know?"
I did. I did know what she meant.
"That's how Sera used to make me feel, so I do understand in a sense." "It's just like everyone expects me to be okay, even though in reality I feel like I'm losing it. Emily, I feel like I'm going insane. Like I'm not allowed to mourn for him."
"Like his death only affected you?"
"Exactly. I feel like everyone else has forgotten about him. I know he wasn't the best person... trust me. But what no one else knew was how damn loyal he was."
"I picked up on that actually. He seemed like he did care for some people. He seemed like he would go any distance for at least a few."
"He would. He did care about me. He also cared for our army. For our mission."
I nod, wondering what she mean by "mission" but knew right now was not a good time to ask. I reach over and gently touch her hand.
"I feel so alone Em."
"You don't have to. You've suffered a great loss Lute. It's okay not to be okay."
"I just wish everyone else saw it that way."
I squeeze her hand. I notice that she relaxes at my touch.
"You know, if you ever need someone, even if it's just for company, I'm here for you Lute. I'm not lying when I told you I care."
She looks down for a moment and then back into my eyes. Was she growing shy?
"Thank you Emily. I truly do appreciate that."
Before I have time to process, her hand is on my cheek. I feel my breath catch for a moment as I instantly melt into her touch. Her hand is soft and warm against my face. My heart starts racing.
"Anytime." My voice comes out breathless.
"Can I tell you something? It may sound quite absurd though." Her voice is low and vulnerable.
"Of course you can. You can tell me anything."
She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. She looks around, I assume she's making sure no one else is around.
"I... really like you Emily. Not just as a friend. I know it sounds horrible considering the circumstances... but it's undeniable at this point."
"I feel the same way about you. You mean a lot to me... and I really like you as well. You make me feel things that no one else has ever made me feel." I gaze deeply into her eyes while speaking.
She leans closer to me and plants a gentle kiss on my lips. The world around me fades and I kiss back. I realize in that moment how right this feels.
After a long while, we both pull away breathlessly. "Holy Heavens, I've wanted to do that for so long." I admit this looking down shyly.
"So have I Em. But you know if we're going to make this work... we're going to have to keep it a secret. You know how people up here feel about people like us when it comes to relationships."
"I know. And I'm ok with that. As long as you're ok with being my girlfriend. I'm willing to make anything work."
"So am I."
"So are we really doing this?" I ask still feeling a little nervous.
"I guess we are." She smiles at me and pulls me in for another tender kiss. I feel happier than I have in a long time. I can't help but let out a squeak of pure joy.
CHARLIE'S POV
I am cleaning up the hotel after a long day of exercises with my friends. Vaggie asked to help with the clean up but I told her I could handle it. The truth is, is I just need a moment alone. I really do wonder what happened to Sir Pentious. I wonder where he could be now. I hoped Heaven, but who knows how likely that is.
It's times like these where I wish my mom were here. She'd know what to do to make me feel better. But it's been seven years and she hasn't answered her phone at all. I leave her texts and voicemails hoping one day that maybe she'll decide to respond. Although, I have been fixing my relationship with my dad. That's something at least. I just wish there was a way for my family to truly be whole again.
I sigh as I finish picking up the place and move to sit on the couch. I pick my phone up off the table and scroll through it. I consider calling my dad, but don't know if he will answer. I decide it can't hurt to try at least. The phone rings a few times before he picks up.
"Charlie!!!" His overly enthusiastic voice instantly brings a smile to my face.
"Hey Dad."
"How are you my duckling?"
"I... could be better. But I'm okay."
"What's got ya so down?"
"I guess a mix of things honestly."
"Well, I'm here if ya wanna talk about it Princess."
"Well, I still have no idea where Sir Pentious ended up. I don't know if my hotel is actually doing anything. What if what I'm doing isn't enough?"
"I bet you'll have some answers sooner or later. Stuff like redeemed sinners in Heaven can't go unspoken of for too long."
"I guess you have a point."
"Is there anything else troubling you Char?"
"I... I miss mom. It sucks that she hasn't reached out in the past seven years." My voice comes out quiet. I try to keep it from breaking.

"I know... But I'm sure she has her reasonings."
"So many questions and not many answers I guess."
"Yes, you're not wrong. But you wanna know something Charlie?"
"What is it?"
"We'll get through this together. I'm not going anywhere ever again. I have your back, and we will get your mother home. Or at least figure out where she is." "Thanks Dad, that means a lot."
"Always Charlie."
"Well, I should probably go check on things around here one more time before it gets too late. I love you dad."
"I love you too Charlie, more than anything."
As the phone call disconnects I smile feeling at peace. I have people who care about me and my dreams. And I know I'm not alone in making them come true.

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