Cold Water

SIXTEEN

                   ♡BRANDON♡

  After Athalia and I parted ways at the park, I felt lighter. The day had gone better than I expected, and talking things out made the weight on my chest seem a little more bearable.

  I made my way home, greeted Aunt Dina as usual, and spent the rest of the evening in my room, sketching.

  Athalia was still on my mind, and I felt a small, quiet hope blooming in my chest.

But as the night wore on, a familiar darkness crept in, one I hadn't faced in a while.

  I went to bed, hoping for a peaceful night or at least four hours of sleep, but as soon as I drifted off, the memories came flooding back.

  It started the same way it always did.

  I was in the passenger seat of the car, the radio playing softly in the background.

  The sky outside was a dull grey, and the roads were slick from the rain. I could see my mom driving, her hands steady on the wheel.

  But there was something off–something that made my chest tighten in the dream, like I already knew what was coming.

  My heart began to race, and the air in the car felt thick, suffocating. I tried to speak to tell her to slow down, but no words came out.

  The rain hit the windshield harder, the wipers moving frantically, but it didn't help. Everything became a blur.

  Then it happened.

  The car swerved, the tires losing their grip on the slick road. My mom tried to regain control, but it was too late.

  The world spun around us, and everything became a chaotic mess of metal, glass, and sound. The screech of tires, the deafening impact– everything collided at once.

  I could see her beside me, her face frozen in shock and fear, and then... nothing.

  The car came to a stop, upside down. My body was pinned, and all I could hear was the deafening silence after the crash. I turned my head, pain radiating through my body, and saw her.

  She wasn't moving.

  The panic gripped me, pulling me deeper into the nightmare. I screamed her name, over and over, but she didn't respond.

  My hands reached out, trying to pull her toward me, but I couldn't move. I was trapped, helpless, and forced to relive that moment again and again.

  "Look at what you've done, you pathetic little shit. You've killed my wife." The accusing voice of my father echoed suddenly through the deafening silence.

"No, no. I didn't mean to, dad. I-I didn't mean to."

  "You killed her."

  "N-no."

  "You killed her!"

  I woke up with a start, gasping for air, my heart pounding so hard it felt like it would burst out of my chest.

  The darkness of my room was overwhelming, pressing in on me as the remnants of the nightmare clung to my mind.

  I sat up, my body drenched in sweat, my breathing ragged. My hands shook as I ran them through my hair, trying to ground myself. But the image of my mom, lifeless in the driver's seat, refused to leave my mind.

  I hadn't had the nightmare in a while, but tonight, it was more vivid than ever.

  I swung my legs over the side of the bed and sat there for a moment, trying to calm down.

  But the fear, the helplessness from the dream–it wouldn't let go. My chest ached, and it felt like the walls of my room were closing in.

  I reached for my phone, desperate for some kind of distraction. Without thinking, I pulled up Athalia's number.

  My fingers hovered over the screen. I didn't want to wake her–it was late–but part of me just needed to feel connected to someone, to not be alone in this.

  I stared at her name for what felt like forever, the fear still gnawing at me. Finally, I put the phone back down.

   I didn't want to drag her into this mess, not after the fight and everything we'd been through. She deserved better than dealing with my nightmares and baggage.

  But the silence was unbearable, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake the lingering terror from the nightmare. I lay back down, but sleep felt like an impossible task.

Instead, I found myself staring at the ceiling, reliving every detail of the accident, the sound of the crash, and the image of my mom.

  The feelings of guilt and helplessness were crushing, and I wasn't sure how much longer I could carry them.

♥︎♥︎♥︎♡♡♡♡