The Summer I Changed | The Summer I Turned Pretty Fanfic

Conrad's POV

I stood there watching through my bedroom window that faced the pool. I watched Belly as she cupped Jere's face in her hands, I watched her lean in to him, and I knew she was feeling drawn to him before this happened. Belly hasn't been the same since the baby, but the more I tried to pull her in the more I watched her pull away. We'd stopped being

intimate long before we stopped sleeping in the same bed.

We'd been living this dream life, this perfect life where I was with this woman who I'd wanted for as long as I could remember. I remember watching her cry in a wedding gown

because my brother had run off, I remember feeling like I could fix it all and save her. I remember wanting to pick her up and run off with her.

We did live a dream, for a while. I feel like it's more than just postpartum, I feel like I somehow tricked her into this life she didn't want. Like she was more herself before she

married me, she wanted to be with me and I always knew that no matter what- she loved us both. So now I stand here watching my wife, my Belly ... Confess her feelings to my brother.

My heart is aching while I sit here and wonder what it is they're talking about. I'm shocked to see Jere stand, dropping her advances and leave. I hear him stock through the

house, get in his car and drive off all in a matter of minutes. But I don't go down, I stay there watching her. She puts her face in her hands and I can tell by the way she's rocking

back and forth that she's sobbing. She gets up, brushes herself off and vanishes from my sight.

How do I move forward from this moment? I meant I could tell by the smile on her face the day of the birthday, I could tell she'd come back to herself just by the sight of him.

That just Jeremiah walking through the door had brought her happiness. This is the worst kind of torn I could right now, wanting to see her that happy but also wanting to have

her to myself.

I wiped a tear from my face, turning back to the bed. I have no plans on confronting her tonight. I can't. I seen it happening and I continued to call him back because I missed

him, but also I liked seeing her bright and happy and that's my fault. I lay down and close my eyes, maybe if I wake up and pretend i never happened we can just keep living.

"The door creaks open and I can feel the energy in the room shift. "Con, you up?"

"I want to ignore her, I want to pretend to be asleep and not talk to her. I won't be able to put up a wall right now, it's too fast. Too soon. "Yup."

"I hear her breath in, she's worried I might have heard or seen what happened. "How long ya been up?"

"Long enough," I said with a long sigh. "Long enough, Bells."

She didn't say anything, she didn't even breath. I turned around and saw her guilt ridden face in the glow from the window.

"Conrad," She finally said. "Conrad, we were just talking."

"I know," I said with another sigh. "I know Belly, so just go to bed."

'No," She choked. "No, that's the problem. We just go to bed, we don't even fight!"

I sat up in bed, looking at her like she was crazy. Did she want to argue? I work so hard not to argue with her, to tip-toe around her feelings every day since the Doctor told us she had depression. "What do you want me to say?"

"Say anything, say what you're feeling!" She half shouted. "Just talk to me! Tell me you hate me, but don't just go to sleep."

I took a deep breath. "Fine, what did you tell my brother, Belly?" I asked through gritted teeth.

She sighed. "I told him that, being around him reminds me of a time when I was a happy person."

'Right," I snorted. "And what did Jere say?"

"He told me to come upstairs and tell you how I'm feeling."

My heart ached. Jeremiah could have taken that moment to win her back, to even bad mouth me, but instead he pushed her back in my direction. And I know, I know him and I know he still cares for, still loves her. So I can only imagine that was tough on him. "Well, I'm sorry you didn't get the answer from him you wanted."

Belly scoffed. "Wanted? I don't know what I want. I just know everything feels off. It feels like I can't breath. Jere is the only person who use to fight to work things through." She was sobbing now. Covering her eyes with her palms, soft sobs escaping from her. 

"You just pretend like it's okay, or you to go sleep. This isn't normal Con, this isn't good." 

I got up, moving towards her with caution. She's right, I am man enough to admit I don't face things head on with her, I just hope for the best and keep myself busy.

"I stopped sleeping in the bed, because it felt like we just go to sleep to reset for tomorrow, except tomorrow is the same day every day."

I put a hand on her should, "Belly, I can't fix how you're feeling so I don't know what do. I think this is a you thing, something you need work through."

Belly's eyes were red, she was breathing heavy and I could tell the next words to come out of her mouth would break me. "Maybe you're right, but also maybe I need some time to myself."

'What do you mean?" I asked, my chest tightening every second more and more.

"Maybe, we need to take a break."

"Like a divorce?"

"No."

'This isn't FRIENDS Belly, we can't just take a break!"

'I'll stay in the beach house, you can go home and we'll figure the rest out."

"When do you want me to leave exactly?"

"Summer is almost over, so then I guess." She nodded.

 "Okay." Is all I could manage to say, I couldn't even see straight. It felt like the room had become blurry from the rage in my body.

I wanted to bust something. I wanted to scream. Instead I pushed passed her, found my car keys  on the dresser and left. Maybe I just need to get out, get away for a few hours. It's not likeI could put my head down and sleep after that conversation.Part of me thought I should go to my dad's, but he's probably sound asleep. Another voice told me to call Jere, ask to just stay to him tonight, but wouldn't that be pathetic.