What?

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She just kissed me and I let her.
I missed her, her lips.
Wait...
Kissed me?!!!
No She has a boyfriend.
Her boyfriend name is Matthew
So stop kissing her you idiot!
I pulled away.
"We can't do this again. You have a boyfriend" - Hazel
"About that" - Billie
"Yeah?" - Hazel
"We broke up" - Billie
"What?" - Hazel
"Yeah" - Billie
"When, why, how" - Hazel
"It's not long ago. Because I love you. I just did" - Billie
"Seriously?" - Hazel
"No I'm kidding" - Billie
WHAT!?
"What?" - Hazel
"No I'm serious. We broke up" - Billie
"Make up your mind!!" - Hazel
"We broke up" - Billie
Then I just pulled her back in to the kiss.
We started making out but she pulled away.
"What?" - Hazel
"We need to talk" - Billie
"Yeah" - Hazel
"About us and" - Billie
"And what?" - Hazel
"These" - Billie
She pulled my sleeve up, she saw my scars
Run!!
"Talk to me" - Billie
"It's nothing" - Hazel
I pulled my sleeve down and looked down
Why are you like this
She knows
She will never love you again
"It's getting worse right?" - Billie
I stayed quiet
"I know, It's in your head but It's not true" - Billie

Then there was a knock on the door.
"Hi is it bad time?" - Doctor
"No come in" - Hazel
Doc came in and closed the door
"So I just wanted to let you know that you are getting out of here tomorrow since the test results are clear and nothing to be worried about" - Doctor
"That's good to know" - Hazel
"If you are up to it I would love to introduce you to our psychiatrist. Since you have a past with mental health issues" - Doctor
"What do you mean by that? That she has been seeing therapist and she has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety?" - Billie
"Yes but you should still talk with therapist since it's only been few months after your suicide attempt" - Doctor
Then I could feel Billie's eyes on me.
"I'm going to meet my old therapist to talk about my depression, anxiety, self harm, about what happened and my suicide attempt" - Hazel
"That's good. But if you want to I can give you the number to our psychiatrist" - Doctor
"No need" - Hazel
"Okay. Nurse will be coming in tomorrow and give you a papers to sign and fill. Good night" - Doctor
"Thanks and good night" - Hazel
Doctor left and I could already feel Billie's pain.

"What was the doc talking about" - Billie
"Last year in November, I cut myself and almost killed myself. I told Maggie not to tell you. I'm not clean and my depression is getting worse. I tried but my thoughts and feelings are not helping" - Hazel
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you" - Billie
"It's not your fault" - Hazel
She hugged me.
"I love you" - Hazel
"I love you too" - Billie
She pulled away from hug and looked me
"So answer me honestly. Did you not have sex in two years" - Billie
"No I didn't have any sex in two years" - Hazel
"Ohh so you must be horny as fuck" - Billie
"Oh shut up" - Hazel
I rolled my eyes and she was staring at me
"What?" - Hazel
"You are still wearing it" - Billie
"Of course" - Hazel
"After two years, you are still wearing it" - Billie
"It's my favorite necklace. I haven't took it off" - Hazel
"You are so cute" - Billie
"What" - Hazel
I laughed
"Just giving you the compliments you deserve" - Billie
"I look horrible so shut up" - Hazel
"Make me" - Billie
I licked my lips and she smirked
Then I just pulled her close and kissed her

We were making out and then my hotel room door opened.
"Oh shit sorry" - Finneas
We stopped and Billie sat down to chair next to me
"Deja vu" - Claudia
"What do you mean" - Hazel
"Two years ago, we came to see you at the hospital. We opened the door and you two were making out" - Claudia
"Right" - Hazel
"So what's this means?" - Finneas
"What?" - Billie
"You two, making out" - Finneas
"Oh" - Hazel
I looked at Billie and she smiled
"We are taking things slow. Lets see what happens after you come back from the tour" - Hazel
"Well I'm glad that you are friends even" - Finneas
"That's great. We heard that you are getting tomorrow out of here" - Claudia
"Yeah" - Hazel
"That's good" - Finneas
"Too bad that you guys have to leave tomorrow" - Hazel
"I can cancel my shows" - Billie
I laughed
"No you can't. It's fine, I'll be fine. I'm meeting with old friends" - Hazel
"We are not going to see each other for a while" - Billie
"I know" - Hazel
"Why don't you come with us?" - Finneas
"I have a cat you know" - Hazel
"You have a cat?" - Claudia
"Didn't I tell you?" - Finneas
"I thought you were joking. Why you have a cat" - Claudia
"Why everyone is questioning my cat decision or thinks that I'm joking? Yes I have a cat, Burrito" - Hazel
"He can come too" - Billie
"No he can't" - Hazel
"Why?" - Billie
"You want a cat with you on your tour" - Hazel
"I want you so yes I want burrito" - Billie
"It's fine. I have to unpack and stuff. I can come later" - Hazel
"Seriously?" - Billie
"Yeah well I have to find a job that I can do while traveling" - Hazel
"Oh" - Billie
"But the job interview is tomorrow and it's includes traveling if I want to. I can ask if I can do it whenever you have a tour. Then I just do event planning where ever I'm needed" - Hazel
"You can do that?" - Billie
"Yeah" - Hazel
"Okay" - Billie
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I love you || Billie Eilish Where stories live. Discover now