I'll Be Back

33

Aiah

I stood on the balcony, the cool breeze brushing against my skin, though it did little to ease the storm raging inside me. My eyes were locked on her as she packed her bags into the van, each movement slow, as if every step toward leaving was a burden. From where I stood, I couldn’t see her face, but I could feel the weight of the emotions she carried. The pain, the disappointment—I knew all too well that I was the cause of it.

Guilt washed over me like a wave, overwhelming and suffocating. I gripped the balcony railing tightly, trying to steady myself against the reality I had created. Every word I had said to her last night was true, no matter how much it hurt to admit. I missed her, missed her so deeply it felt like a physical ache in my chest, but the truth was undeniable.

I couldn’t see my future with her.

Mikha deserved more than I could give her. She was such a pure and loving person, always there with her warm smile and caring touch, always willing to give everything of herself without asking for anything in return. She had opened her heart to me, and yet here I was, unable to do the same. I'm a wreck—a mess of confusion and uncertainty—and she didn’t deserve that. She didn’t deserve me.

The pain hit me like a punch to the gut, forcing the air from my lungs. It hurt more than I expected, more than I was prepared for. But who was I to blame? I had started this. I had been the one to keep her at arm’s length, to create the distance between us. The guilt gnawed at me relentlessly, a constant reminder of the hurt I had caused her—hurt that was written all over her face in those last moments, even though she tried so hard to hide it.

I closed my eyes, trying to steady my breathing, trying to push away the overwhelming sense of loss that was starting to suffocate me.

"Uuwi ako sayo. I'll figure everything out" I whispered to myself, though the words felt empty, like a promise I wasn’t sure I could keep.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw her. She was looking up in my direction, her eyes searching the balcony where I stood. For a brief moment, our gazes met from across the distance, and I felt my heart clench in my chest. I waited, hoping for some kind of sign—a wave, a nod, something that told me we weren’t completely broken. But nothing came. Colet pulled her inside the van, and the door shut, sealing her away from me for good, i guess?

  The emptiness gnawed at me, growing more unbearable by the second. I didn’t move. I couldn’t. My legs felt rooted to the spot as I watched the van disappear down the road, taking with it the possibility of everything we could have been.

The reality of what I had done hit me all at once, a crushing wave of regret that left me gasping for air. I had pushed her away. I had made her doubt everything. And now, she was gone.

I was snapped back to reality by the sound of footsteps behind me, followed by the panicked voice of the maid.

“Ma’am, si Jane po hindi gumigising!”

The words barely registered at first, the fog in my mind still clouding everything. But then they hit me like a freight train, and my heart stopped. My eyes widened as I turned, the world around me spinning.

“Anong sabi mo?” I asked, my voice shaky as I tried to process what she was saying.

“Si Jane po, ma’am! Ang taas ng lagnat! Hindi po siya gumigising!” she repeated, her voice trembling with fear. Her wide eyes told me everything I needed to know.

Panic shot through me like a bolt of lightning, and I bolted back inside the hotel, my legs shaking as I rushed to Jane’s side. My heart pounded in my chest, my thoughts racing uncontrollably. I reached her crib in an instant, my hands trembling as I cupped her small face.