KURISANI
"Are you going somewhere?"
Tirhani asks when he walks in. From my father's house, I drove to the house that I share with Tirhani in Polokwane to pack my things. I was shaking throughout the drive and although I felt like pulling over a couple of times, I just kept pushing because I want to do this today, not tomorrow or the day after.
It took a while for me to get to this point and I cannot continue like this or I'll find myself in a loony house and I can't have that, I cannot afford to lose the little bit of sanity and self-control that I'm left with. The last straw was finding out that my own mother sold me to the witches. People have been doing as they please with me and my body, regardless of the side effects I might experience and I'm expected to just sit and take it? Why should I?
"Yes... But I wanted to talk to you first,"
He takes further steps into the room, his hands in his pockets and his eyes constantly moving from me to where my suitcases are bundled up "What's going on, Kurisani? Where did you go to after you left the house?"
"I went to see my mother, it turns out she helped your aunt in the quest to take over my womb and control it how they both wanted to,"
"She what?"
"Yeah, but it's okay. I've said my peace with her and my father, we are done,"
"You're done?" he asks slowly.
I get up from the bed and look at him "Yes. All this plotting and people butting in when they feel like it, having people make decisions for me and wanting to please my parents, I'm done with it. My father gave me an ultimatum, either I stick around and make things work or he disowns me-"
"And I see you chose to leave," He cuts me off rather hashly with a cold tone but I keep it together, I keep calm because one way or another, I need to have this talk with him. I could have come here and packed then leave without saying a word to him but that's not how I want to do things. I don't want to just run, I want to talk to him and have him say whatever he may want to say to me, no matter how harsh it can be, I'll listen and then I'll leave. I've never been good with hiding anyway.
"We cannot continue like this, Tirhani. This is a mess,"
"A mess we both created,"
"I know that. I'm not denying that both of us are to blame for the state of our marriage but for how much longer are we going to keep it up? The only thing we have progressed in since getting married is just making a hot mess out of this union. This isn't the best situation, for both of us. We were mashed together, both having to please our parents and we figured we could still live our separate lives but that has proven to just be a disaster at the end of the day but we are both still here, still married to each other, "
"And I thought we agreed to have each other's back no matter what so what exactly is this, Kurisani? Is this you running? Is that it? Because you've never striked me as a runner before,"
"I'm not running-"
"What the hell are you doing then?"
"I'm leaving , Tirhani and I didn't just want to disappear without a word. Yes, we agreed that we will have each other's backs but until when will you have to cover for me because I cannot set my eyes on your aunt and not want to stab her a thousand times and I'm not exaggerating. This has become too much for me, I feel like I'm suffocating and I'm struggling to keep my mind in line."
" So the best thing for you is to just drop everything and go, it's that easy for you? Have you forgotten that we are married? "
" When has it ever mattered to us that we are married? It didn't matter at the beginning, we just worked out an arrangement but I know we both deserve so much better than just an arrangement. We deserve so much more and honestly I'm just done pleasing my parents, it's time I do what I want to "
