𝙄𝙣𝙩𝙤𝙭𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚

★the muse★

I feel as if I'm dead.
Eight months of marriage. Eight months of nothingness. Eight months of emptiness. I stared at the ceiling. I released a sigh and closed my eyes. I don't think I can cope up anymore. I looked at the clock. It was eleven past twelve. I sat up quickly. Perfect timing. I removed my nightdress. I got myself a tank top and denim shorts. And a grey hoodie gifted by Hailey. I rubbed my sweaty palm on my shorts and inhaled. I opened my door to find an empty corridor. I tiptoed to the hall. I heard some noise. My ears twitched. I hid under the stairs. I came out as the footsteps faded away. I opened the back door of the kitchen hoping it would be open. Thank God. It's open. I sneaked out of the house perfectly. I went to the nearby convenience store and got myself a beer. A sigh escaped me. I crushed the bill in my hand and looked at it. The fact that I can't shout is making me go crazy. I shoved it in my hoodie and started drinking the beer. I walked through the dark valley as I drank the beer. I threw it once it was completed. I looked down for a moment. A thunder rambled made me flinch. Shit it's going to rain. I started running. I was drenched by the time i got to this...place. I sighed before sneaking in. I felt like a thief for my whole life. I hate it. My ears twitched when I heard some footsteps. I didn't think before getting into the room. I locked the door and sighed. Is there any possibility that he has seen me?. No no way. I kept my ear on the door. A door clicked behind me. Shit.shit.shit. my hands started sweating when I found him
Standing there with only.....towel around his waist. His eyes met mine. The water is dripping from his hair and settled on his defined abs. Another towel was hung on his shoulder. Those piercings. His right arm was filled with tattoos. There was a silver chain in his neck. He tilted his head making me look away. I started opening the door. Shit it's not opening. I started shifting it aggressively. A hard chest came in contact with my back. His hand covered my hand and removed it. He unlocked the door. But he did not move an inch. My shaky hands grabbed the knob and gripped it tightly. He took a step back. But I can still feel the warmth radiating from his body. I opened the door quickly and walked out of the door. I practically ran inside my room. Shit. I locked the door and sighed. The thoughts were interrupted by my phone.
" Boss wants to meet you. After school at 6:30. Be there on time" a scoff left my mouth. I gripped the phone so hard that my knuckles turned white. I threw my phone on my bed and went to refresh. I sighed as I felt my body relax on the warm jaccuci. I closed my eyes and threw my head back. Black eyes. I opened my eyes quickly and looked around. What if he found out I sneaked in? He would have. But it's not like he cares or something. I sighed again and closed my eyes. When will this even end?

"You're eyes...they remind me of her. Show yourself in front of me again. Then you will see who I'm"
He pushed me into the pool. I'm drowning. His figure is fading away. I can't breathe. A tear escaped my eyes. I screamed so hard. And shut my mouth finally.
I can't breathe.
I can't breathe.
I can't breathe.
I can't brea-

I woke up with a gasp. I clutched my chest and closed my eyes. Don't go there Ana screamed my brain. I got up quickly and changed into a night suit. The satin shirt felt so soft against my skin. And the satin shorts stopped right above my knees. When I look into the mirror I don't recognise who I'm. I opened my mouth and closed it. It's been nearly 17 years. 17 years of silence. My gaze moved to my hair. I hate my hair. I hate it. I caressed it. It stopped right above my pelvic bone. I gritted my teeth as i caressed it. I closed my eyes before turning off the lights. My stomach left a sound. I can't really starve myself. It's nearly 2 am. I opened my door and peaked outside. I went out with silent steps. Growing up with someone like my father you would master in sneaking. I made my way towards the kitchen. I opened the fridge finding nothing. I looked up at the self finding a packet of chips and fries. My mouth watered. Why do they have to keep it there? I looked around again. Then I took the stool and placed it very softly. I climbed on the stool and opened the cabinet. I bit my lips as I grabbed those packets. My eyes widened when I found cookies and cakes. I grabbed everything and looked at my hand. It was filled with snacks. And there was a tin inside. I can't clearly see as i did not turn on the lights. I gulped and looked down. I can't really jump down. If I jumped I will end up breaking a bone or two. Suddenly the lights were on making me squint my eyes. My eyes flew to the entrance finding him standing there. He had his suit on and had his right arm in his pocket. His biceps were bulged. He stood there with two other buff men. He signalled them to go. But the thing that bothered me the most is that all this time his eyes never mine. They pierced straight into my soul. i can't move an inch. I was too stunned to move. I mean he was in his room earlier. How can he.... He walked towards me. He looked up at me and poked his inner cheeks. Hot. What is wrong with me? I gulped and looked away. I gasped when his hands wrapped around my waist. He lifted me effortlessly and settled me down. I licked my lips and exhaled deeply. I gripped the snacks close to my chest and took a step back. His hand did not leave my waist. I looked up at him finding him looking at me already. I wiggled away from his hold. He did not move an inch. I looked at him and found a small smirk on his lips. He left me to show who is in charge. I didn't wait a second before turning around. Something pulled me by my arm. I looked back and found him close to my face. So close. Nobody has ever been this close to me. My breath got stuck and my toes curled. He left my arm and reached the cabinet so easily and grabbed the tin inside. He placed them on top of my snacks. His hand brushed against my cleavage. Then he moved his hand into his pocket and watched me. I gulped. My stomach made a sound again. Shit. I closed my eyes and turned around. I'm never getting snacks again. I made my way towards my room. I threw the snacks on my bed. Embarrassing. I avoided him the best. In these eight months. I sighed and closed my eyes. I grabbed my phone and found 30+ messages. "Will you come tomorrow? " Asked Hailey. "Bitch you better do" said Ava. There are the closest things that I have. I read the whole message and replied with a thumbs up. My eyes caught the message again. After school 6pm. Tomorrow may be terrible. I left out a sigh and closed my eyes.