𝙄𝙣𝙩𝙤𝙭𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚

★the muse★

"this is the most important part of the lecture. Note it down" Mrs. James voice reached me as the bell rang. Finally I'm done with the day. I watched everyone move out. My gaze moved to the window beside me and it's view. All the five wings are visible from here. It's almost evening. The sunset looks......so sad. Something is off about it. I look gloomy. Sighing I looked around finding no one. I pulled out my phone and airdopes. I turned on my itunes and started packing my bag. Suddenly the incident from three days ago slipped into my mind. I almost got caught while speaking on my phone. But that's not the thing that has been disturbing me all night. It was him. Half naked. And close to me. I can still feel the shivers when he buried his face in my neck. My soul left me when his lips touched my neck. My thighs clenched together at that thought. It was too much for me to take. The fact that it was right after that forest incident is what makes me sleepless. Nobody in my whole life has given this sort of attention to me. And it surely does disturb me. When he's around me I feel as if the world gets smaller. His eyes never leave mine. And I'm never used to the attention. With a sigh I moved out of the class. I opened my contacts and was ready to call her. But something caught my attention. A number saved as in husband. What the fuck?! Who the fuck? When I get to see him, he is done for sure. I started moving out. A usual dark valley looked at me endearingly. Some part of me fears this. Alone in a dark valley. With a gulp I started walking. It's starting to get dark. I held my bag strap tightly before going inside. A laughter reached my ears. I saw a group of men standing there. My ears twitched. Something inside me screamed at me to run away. I started walking faster. A grip on my arm stopped me suddenly. "You need a company, lady" the man asked with a sarcastic chuckle. I slapped his hand and tried to walk away. Again somebody blocked my way. "He asked you something sweetheart" the other one asked coming close to me. Suddenly I was again seven years old. My nose flared and my eyes burned. I did not think twice before pushing him and running away. A screech left me when I was pulled back with a ruthless grip on my hair. He laughed as his hand gripped my left breast. His grip is so hard on my arm making me groan. "Be a good girl, huh" he said as his hand moved to my skirt tip. My heart felt heavy and my throat started hurting. I threw a punch on his face making him Chuckle. "Nice try baby" is what he said before slapping right across my face. Black dots started appearing on my vision and my lips tore from that slap making the blood drip from the end. Now be a good girl and let uncle massage you stella. A sudden adrenaline made me push him with everything I had. He fell and landed on his friend making them groan. "Come back you bitch" he screamed when I started running. I felt the footsteps following me. I never ran this hard in my whole life. My eyes found a large garbage bin. I did not think twice before hiding behind it. The sweat covered my body. I closed my mouth with my hands and squirmed against the wall. Phone. I was not on my mind when I called him. Too late to back off. He answered in the first ring. "Hello" his raspy voice reached my ear. I gulped a lump. Open. Open. Open. "Ju-jungko-ok" i spoke through my panting. "Ana-" i interrupted him. "V-valle-y...th-hey.. he- I un-unive- garba-ge" I closed my eyes and took a breath. No matter what this feeling doesn't go away. "Co-ome....please" i whispered before gulping. I declined the call and realised what I just did. "There you are!!" A yell made my head turn. I felt my toes curl in my shoes. I stood up and tried to run. A gasp escaped me when I was pushed down. My knee started bleeding out making me hiss. He kneeled down and raised my head by gripping my hair making me groan. "You bitch" he screamed at me before slapping me again. Fuck. I felt like blacking out. My hand gripped his wrist and tried moving it away. "Make it soon, rov" his friend said making him Chuckle. "You heard him? Let's make it fast" he said before tearing my shirt making the first few buttons fly. That's it again you got no powers. You will never have ana. My brain screamed as something inside me died again. All of this inside me started falling apart. Splash. A gasp left me when the blood splattered everywhere around me and on my face. The guy screamed by gripping his hand. My head turned to the direction from which the bullet came from. He stood there with a gun in his hand. And me? I just sat there. And he's already near me. He shot out his hand suddenly making me flinch and move back. I gulped before standing up slowly. His gaze scanned me from my head to toe. I folded my arms around my waist and stood there awkwardly. The sudden chillness made my skin etch. My gaze moved everywhere except him, finally I got the courage to look up at him. He had this mad expression making me gulp and look away. He removed his coat furiously and placed it gently on me. It made my skin etch, it made me feel dirty. Within a heartbeat he was near that guy. He punched him so hard that blood splattered from his mouth. My heartbeat started increasing as time passed. I gathered my courage to get near him. He looks scary. His white shirt has blood on it. And his knuckles started red from punching. My shaky hand grabbed his shirt and pulled it slightly. He turned his head and he looked deadly dangerous. I withdrew my hand quickly. "I wan-" i stopped signing when he stood up and interrupted " speak" now that he's close to me I'm barely breathing. I lowered my head being unable to look at him. "I want to go home" i whispered and closed my eyes. Shit. I shouldn't have called him. Worst fucking mistake. Now that he knows I'm not mute, maybe he release me. My heart thumped harder getting no reply. He knows. He knows. He knows. My worst nightmare came true. He took one more step closer making me flinch. He fisted his hand and me? I still did not move. Not an inch. I did not dare to look up. My legs started shivering and the random black dots started appearing in my vision. He muttered something before taking a step forward. A sudden movement made me flinch and take a step back. I might give anything to prevent a touch at this fucking moment. I gulped before turning around and walking straight to the car. Shit. That fucking piece of shit is locked for fuck's sake. I started opening it fast and vigorously. Suddenly a clink sound made me movement stop. The problem is that I feel him before I see him. His chest brushed slightly against my back before opening the door. I sat inside panting for my life. Fidging my slightly torn skirt. My eyes started burning  and nose tingled. There's no way.
Not a single tear! I closed my eyes and laid back, looking at the window. The car started moving making the fresh and chill air evolve around me.
You don't ever try to open your mouth. He yelled. Stop crying he screamed at me before talking out his belt. My shaky hands covered my mouth and pressed it tightly. My knees are up against my chest as I'm curled up against the nightstand.
You're face remind me of that whore he said grabbing my hair and pulling it. I bit down the groan by biting my inner cheeks. I felt like my hair might come out of the skull.
He pulled out a chair harshly and sat infront of me while I'm crying pathetically at his foot. The dark purple marks that peeps out of my top and pant started itching and burning. A tear drop fell on my lip end making it burn as it was torn slightly because of the slap earlier.
He stomped on my foot making my eyes shut. He applied pressure making a groan spill. I gulped realising what I just did.
What did I say about talking to others? He asked being dangerous close to me making me gulp. The sweat drop fell from my temple. "What did I say about talking rubbish, you whore" he screamed before letting that belt design my skin. He stopped when I'm completely hiding under the table. Suddenly a hand shot out and pulled me by my hair. With his full force he threw me across the room. Ackk a sound left me when my head hit heavily on the floor. He threw the belt across the room before coming near me and crouching down. He patted my head before looking straight into me. "Good. Be like this! If you forget again I will have to remind you again. But in a different manner. You know what I mean right?" He asked smiling before getting up and walking away. My back lost its balance made me lay down in the floor. I looked up and wondered what I did wrong. And one more thing "when will you come back, mom" my brain screamed.
I woke up with a gasp and looked around. I'm still in the car. But the most strange part is that the car is moving in circular motion. I looked beside me finding him. Something inside me settled when I found him beside me. But the thing scared me the most right now is him. I can't really explain how much I'm terrified of him. I thought my heart might burst out. I opened my mouth and gathered the courage to ask, "w-where a-re....we?" I asked in a low voice. I hate it. I hate my voice. It sounds like a rusty metal. He looked at me before switching gears. "Infront of the house" he answered before getting inside the house. He parked the car right inbetween the stairs and the fountain. His jaw tightened before removing the seatbelt and opening the door. No no no. I opened the door quickly and practically ran inside. I did not bother to look back. I went straight to the room and locked myself in the bathroom. The silence screamed in the place. The only sound is the water dripping from the tap. My chest felt heavy so I started banging on it. I just need to cry. But I'm afraid that's the only thing I can't do. The touches they are still here, making my skin etch in the worst possible way. I started feeling the touches. I scrubbed my skin making it red but still the touch won't go away. I let the cold water assualt my skin. The water travelled through my hair making my skull cool. I stopped the water and wrapped a towel around me before stepping out of the shower. Something inside me burned when I looked at the reflection of me in the mirror.
It stared back at me "you'll never have control over your life" it said before laughing at me. "Stop" I said.  She didn't. "Stop..stop..stop... STOPP" I screamed but still did not stop. I screamed before throwing a bottle at her. She splattered everywhere but still the sounds are clear, crystal clear. My breath stuck in my lungs. A hiss left me when a glass piece pressed in my feet. Blood started oozing out. I hurriedly opened the door. The blood looked like it could drown me. I rubbed the place over and over hoping it would go away. My breath quickened and sweat covered my neck and body. The door opened making my actions stop. He stood there near the doorstep. His gaze bounced between me and the blood.
Something about him is so intimating. A small sigh left him before he went into the closet. I released the breath I'm holding for long. Within a minute he came back. Wait he did not change. He held something in his hand. He came straight to me and stood infront of me. His sharp features are dangerously close so that a mole under his lips are clearly visible. My soul left my body when he made me wear a tshirt. It smelled like him. Cinnamon and smoky. It was warm and it reached right above my thighs. My eyes widened and breath ceased when he sneaked his hand inside my tshirt and removed the towel I have been wearing. I looked down and wrapped my arms around me. He clutched the towel harshly before throwing it on the bed. His veiny hands grabbed my arm and made me sit on the bed. I can't breathe properly when he's around me. My heart it wouldn't slow down. He came back with a medkit and sat down. Infront of me and place my foot on his thigh. I gulped and pulled back in hesitation. "I-i can manage" I said. He looked up at me making me stop. I licked my lips making it wet and gulped. It felt so wrong. This is not what I should be doing right now. Yet I can't stop this. I think....I'm falling into this. Knowing so well i  can't come back.