Juliana Woodland and Nate Jacobs have been best friends for as long as they can remember.
They are now in their junior year and East Highland High School and things are starting to get complicated.
*Had this story up on my old account and it got del...
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The day after the carnival, Juliana woke up feeling like she had been hit by a truck.
Her mouth was dry, her eyes were burning and her head was pounding. She squinted as she looked around her pastel coloured bedroom, wondering what time it was.
It wasn't until she went to reach for her cellphone on her nightstand that she realized that Nate's arms were wrapped around her and he was spooning her from behind, fast asleep.
And that's when last nights' memories hit her like a ton of bricks. She jumped out of her bed and ran to the bathroom attached to her bedroom, barely making it to the toilet before she started to throw up.
She didn't know if she was sick from the molly and vodka or from the memory of the stupid stunt she pulled last night with Nate.
She knew that in the past, she had definitely drank much more than she did last night without being sick the next day, so she was pretty sure it was from what she tried to do with Nate.
A second later Nate was beside her, pulling her hair back into a loose ponytail and gently rubbing her back.
"It's okay, I'm here," he said quietly.
Juliana couldn't even look at him as tears burned in her closed eyes. If it was possible to die from embarrassment, she was sure that's what was happening to her. It felt like her stomach was inside out.
Why was she such an idiot? Why did she have to ruin the best thing in her life, her friendship with Nate?
Why did she have to listen to Cassie and Maddy? She knew they meant well, but clearly they were wrong about how he felt and now she was in this mess. She wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear.
He helped her back to bed and she still couldn't bring herself to look at him. She could barely open her eyes from how crappy she felt, so at least that was working in her favour.
He pulled her into his chest and stroked her messy hair, planting a kiss on top of her head. He had barely said anything to her and no wonder. She had literally forced herself on him last night while he tried to stop her, more than once.
Her memory was extremely hazy but she remembered him telling her "we can't, we need to stop" and saying it was a mistake as he tried to pull her off of him. Her cheeks burned as she tried to push the painful recollection out of her head.
"I'm going to start a bath for you and get you a drink, okay?" Nate said before carefully getting off the bed.
She opened her eyes enough to see him go in the bathroom, then throw on a T-shirt and leave her bedroom. She felt her face flush even more when she remembered seeing the black boxers he wore up close last night.
She heard the water running in the tub and Nate's footsteps going downstairs. If only she could just go drown herself in the bath and not have to deal with any of this.
She couldn't believe that he was even still at her house, taking care of her, after how she behaved with him last night.
Downstairs, Nate sat at the kitchen table and put his head in his hands. He felt disgusted with himself for letting things get so far with Juliana last night.
He didn't understand how it could be the best and worst moment of his life at the same time. He had never felt anything better in his life than her kisses and her touch and her body, and her mouth on him almost making him come.
But at the same time he knew he should have immediately stopped her, as soon as they kissed for the first time. He knew she was on molly and had been drinking.
He made it his life's mission to keep her safe from piece of shit guys trying to take advantage of her, and now, he was one of them.
Even if she truly did want to do those things with him, he should not have allowed to happen while he was sober and she was not. He felt so ashamed and frustrated that he wanted to pull his fucking hair out.
He finally managed to get up and get a bottle of water out of the fridge, along with a Gatorade and a popsicle. He made his way back upstairs and back into Juliana's room.
She was still in bed, back on to him, and he could tell that she was quietly crying. He laid the items on her dresser and lay down next to her, cuddling into her from behind.
"Shh, it's okay Angel, I know." Nate soothed her but he didn't even know if she wanted him there after what happened. He was sure he was the reason she crying.
"Natey," she sniffed, rolling over and finally looking straight at him for the first time since she woke up. She wiped her teary eyes with the back of her hand. "I'm really sorry. I don't even know what to say."
Nate pushed a piece of messy hair out of her face. "Juliana, what- I-"
"Hold on, I need to get this out before I get sick again." She closed her eyes and sniffled again, willing herself to try and explain.
"I...I was so out of it last night, and I know that's not an excuse. But I'm so sorry. I really am. I would never want to risk losing you as a friend. I love you so much, I need you in my life. I know it's a lot to ask, but maybe we can forget about last night, and go back to normal? It'll never happen again, I promise." She said weakly, trying not to cringe as his voice, telling her to stop, echoed through her head.
Nate didn't know if he was more relieved or heartbroken. So she really didn't feel the same about him. Clearly last night was a mistake for her. He didn't understand how it could mean nothing to her while it meant everything to him.
But, she was willing to look past it and go back to their normal state of being best friends, like they always had been. He would very gladly take that over nothing, even though it really hurt.
He wished he could go back and stop himself from letting things go as far as they did while she wasn't in the right state of mind. He should have used his head and not his dick.
Now they would always be just best friends, and never anything more.
"Juliana," he started, not knowing what to say at first. "You really don't need to apologize. I should be the one apologizing, I'm so sorry, I wish I could take it back. I would love nothing more than to go back to normal. You know I'll always be your best friend."
He felt like such a fucking idiot as he remembered thinking the night before that today they would talk about their feelings while she was sober, and maybe even continue what they had been doing behind the trailer, without her under the influence.
"I love you so much and I hope you can forgive me." He said sadly.
Juliana smiled weakly and pulled him into a hug. It stung a lot but at least now she didn't have to wonder if he had feelings for her. Clearly he didn't, and she would just have to try and move on.
She was just glad that she hadn't ruined their friendship. "I hope you can forgive me too. I love you the most." She spoke into his chest.
He hugged her back tightly, trying not to think about how her body was even closer than this to him the night before. But he knew now for certain that she didn't return his feelings, she made that clear, so he would have to just hold onto the memories of how her lips and tongue felt against his and how sweet she tasted.
She peeked up at him from his chest, eyes bloodshot with a genuine little smile on her perfect lips. "Okay, now let's never talk about this again, please?" She asked with an awkward giggle.
Nate nodded as they remained in each other's arms, feeling each other's heartbeats in synch. He buried his face in her hair, breathing in her familiar scent as he wondered how he would ever move on from her and love and want anyone as much as he did her.
He spoke softly as he continued to hold her close. "Okay, Angel, whatever you say."
