Rᴀᴄɪɴɢ Pᴜʙʟɪᴄɪᴛʏ | english

Chapter 1

"Damn," I cursed as I shakily placed my hand on the soft leather of my sofa. I would have expected anything, but not this news. Was I really that invisible and unimportant? But there was also a very simple reason. The break-up with Jason. Had I just been an object for her to restore his reputation? But we loved each other, didn't we? I couldn't explain it to myself.

I was now without a music label and without support. Just that one phone call had made me throw away my dream. I thought nothing of it when Anthony, the boss of the Juborn label, called. I thought he wanted to talk to me about my upcoming European tour, which was due to start in the autumn, but that wasn't the case. The words he said to me were harsh. His words, and I quote: "Since I'm no longer with Jason, they don't need me anymore. I would only have been publicity for them anyway and I couldn't sing anyway.'"

Was it really like that? Could I really not sing? Was I really that bad? I had built up a fan base, but it was coming to an end quicker than I would have liked. The reason was clear, I was no longer with Jason. I was always just the girl who wanted to prove herself as a singer. Now I realised where I stood. I only helped Jason to become even more famous by having a simple woman at his side.

This conversation confirmed my suspicions. I had mild feelings for Jason when we first met, but for the past six months I've been questioning them more and more. His manner at the beginning was always so heartbreaking, so sweet and in the last few months I had realised what he was really like. He had rejected me more and more and was cold to me. It was only when we were in public that he was back to his old self and I made a decision. I could no longer do this to my heart and broke up with him without further ado. It hurt when he just accepted it and said it was ok for him, but now I knew why.

Unfortunately, this also did something to my image. For a whole week there was this heated discussion between people about the two of us, why and why not, but after that it was quiet. As if nothing had ever happened and as if I didn't even exist. My follower numbers on Instagram and TikTok went down and nobody listened to the eight songs I had released so far. I could curse myself inside. 

I should have known that this would happen if it was over between Jason and me. In hindsight, it would have happened anyway, a little later but I would be sitting here thinking about my life in public just like I am now. Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a singer, even though a lot of people said it was a rubbish idea. 

However, I couldn't tame my stubbornness myself. Whether I was at primary school or high school, I was always in a band and was the lead singer. It was just the beginning, but I loved making music with my friends at the time. We soon ventured into something more and published cover songs by our favourite artists on YouTube and they were really well received. That's how Juborn Lables became aware of me. I was seventeen years old at the time. 

I always thought we were all taken but when it was announced that we were signed, it was just me in the foreground. Behind the scenes where my best friends stood and watched me with a sad face as I was announced to the public. Even for me it was a slap in the face as I never knew anything about it. Anthony's words were just: "We're better off with you as a solo artist. You're good together, but you're better on your own."

I hadn't heard from my friends since then. The only ones I had were the label, Jason and my family who had supported me from the beginning. "Do you still want to stew in your room? It's nice weather outside," I heard a familiar voice and turned towards the door. A red mop of hair poked her head in and I sighed. 

"I don't want to be a sitting duck, Clari," I mumbled and ran my fingers through my long hair. "You do realise that no one has spoken to you for weeks, don't you? You can be seen in public," the young woman said and sat down on my bed. "So what if I am? If anyone recognises me, they'll only get hate messages anyway. I'm the one who would have cheated on the most sought-after young man in all of Europe," I grumbled and Clari sighed. These rumours had been going around for a while.