Your Fault

Chapter 35 Noah

My mother’s silence wasn’t a good sign. It felt like the calm before the storm, and that worried me. I went on packing my bags, getting the last few things, while Jenna sat there counting off all the bad things that were going to happen to me if I went to live with Nick. That was when I realized I would have to start ignoring all her thoughts about our relationship.
Jenna was in anti-romance mode. Since she had split with Lion, she had gone from crying like a baby to adopting a hard-core feminist attitude, and all she could talk about was how women didn’t need men by their sides to go on with their lives, and in today’s world, you were supposed to enjoy your life without being tied down. For several days now, fuck Lion! had been her favorite phrase.
“I was so excited to think that you and me were going to be at the same school, going out at night and pledging at the same sorority and doing all the stuff freshmen do,” she said, helping me box up a couple of things.
“I’m still going to college, Jenna. I’m just going to sleep at my boyfriend’s place instead of in a dorm.”
Jenna rolled her eyes. “Like Nicholas would ever let you go out partying till dawn.”
“Nick’s not my father. I can go wherever I want,” I replied sharply.
“You say that now, but once you settle in, you’ll turn into one of those friends you never see because they spend all their time with their boyfriends.”
I laughed shrilly. “Like you until just a few weeks ago?”
Lifting a book, she looked over at me. “Breaking up with Lion is the best thing that could have ever happened to me,” she said, and I could tell she was trying to convince herself more than me with that remark. “I do what I want now. I don’t have to fight with anyone, except for my stupid little brothers. I don’t have to feel guilty for being the person I am. I got a sweet dorm setup. We shelled out for the private kitchen… Speaking of, you know what I bought myself today?” She hitched up her long tight skirt just slightly. “See these sandals?”
I nodded. I could tell she needed to brag.
“Know what they cost me?”
“No. I don’t want to know either,” I said, folding a blanket to put it away.
“Try six hundred bucks. That’s right! I dropped some cash on these sandals, and I probably won’t even wear them after a few weeks because it’ll be cold and rainy, and I won’t want to get my toesies wet…” “Smart,” I said, playing along unenthusiastically.
“It is smart because you know what I’ve learned watching my ex-boyfriend work like a dog just to keep the garage open and pay his rent? I learned money doesn’t grow on trees, I learned a lot of people have it hard, but I also realized, if they were me, they’d do the same damned thing. So why am I going to be the idiot who doesn’t take advantage of being born into money? I’ve got everything I want, right? I can buy what I want, choose what school I want to go to, plus, you know my dad just bought a private plane? You heard that right, so if you ever want to go anywhere, just let me know… I’m a millionaire, and for now, money is all I care about…” Her voice cracked at the end of that phrase, but she dried the lone tear that rolled down her cheek, pointed the book she was holding on to at me, and said coldly, “I’m absolutely fine.”
Like me, but unlike many others, Jenna didn’t like to show her feelings.
If one of us cried, that meant we were really doing badly, and I could tell she must have been feeding herself a pack of lies if she now found herself crying in front of me.
“I know you don’t want to talk about it, Jenn, but this is temporary.
Lion loves you more than anything, and you know—” “Don’t go down that road, Noah,” she cut me off. “We’re done, and I’m not getting back on the merry-go-round. We’re from different worlds, so drop it. All I want to hear about right now is how drunk you and I are going to get every Friday and how many hot guys we’re going to meet.”
I didn’t want to remind her that I was taken, so I let it go. She needed to feel she had a fellow party girl at her side, so I’d let her think that. In moderation, of course.
She left soon afterward, and I called Nick. We hadn’t talked since the night before, and I needed to know what time he was coming to pick me up the next day. I had more things to take over, and I needed his strength and the space in his Land Rover.
It went straight to voice mail, and I left a message saying I needed him to come over the next day and he should call when he had the chance.
Just as I was about to undress, shower, and go to bed to spend one last night at that house, my mother appeared. From her face, I could tell an argument was coming.
“I was hoping you’d come talk to me and tell me that what you said over dinner was just a very tasteless joke.”
“It’s not a joke, Mom,” I said, crossing my arms.
She looked at all the suitcases and boxes scattered across the floor.
“I’ve done all I can not to get mixed up in your relationship with Nicholas. I was even willing to accept it. But you’ve crossed a line without thinking once of me or William, and that’s something I’m not willing to tolerate.”
I didn’t like how she was talking to me. She acted like she was talking to a stranger. I realized she was angry, but with that attitude, all her words did were frustrate me further. What gave her the right to tell me how to live?
I was over it.
“This isn’t something I have to talk to you about. It’s my life, and you need to learn to let me make my own mistakes and my own choices.”
“It’ll be your life when you can live independently and you have a good enough job to support yourself, understand?”
That was a low blow, and she knew it. Especially when she was talking about money that wasn’t even hers.
“You’re the one who brought me here!” I shouted, seeing where the conversation was going. “I’m finally happy, I’ve found someone who loves me, and you’re not even capable of being happy for me!”
“I’m not going to let you go live with your stepbrother when you’re just eighteen years old!”
“I’m an adult! When are you going to figure that out?”
“Look,” she said after breathing hard several times, “I’m not going to play this game. I don’t want to argue with you, and I don’t have to, but I will make one thing clear: if you go live with Nicholas, you can forget about college.”
I stared at her, unable to believe what I was hearing. “What?”
There wasn’t a shadow of doubt in her eyes.
“I won’t pay for your school, and I won’t give you money so you can —” “William’s the one who pays for all this!” I shouted, enraged. She was acting like a total stranger. What the hell was all this about?
“I’ve talked it over with William. You’re my daughter, and he’ll respect whatever I decide to do with you. If I tell him not to send you one cent, then that’s what he’ll do.”
“You’ve lost your mind,” I said, taking in the significance of what she was saying.
“You think you can just have everything you want, but it’s not like that.
You get an inch, and you take a mile. Well, that’s over. I’m not giving in anymore.”
“I’ll get a scholarship. I’m going to live with Nicholas. You can keep your husband and your money. I don’t give a shit.”
She shook her head, looking down at me like I was five years old, and I felt a fire burning inside me. This was getting serious.
“You won’t get a scholarship. Legally, you’re the daughter of a millionaire. So stop talking nonsense and acting like a brat.”
“I can’t believe you’re doing this.” I felt a pain in my chest.
She seemed to hesitate for a moment when my lip started to tremble.
“Believe it or not, I just want the best for you.”
I laughed. “You’re a selfish bitch!” I shouted. “All you ever talk about is how you do everything for me, but you forced me to leave my country so you could marry a stranger, you promised me a bright future, and now that I’ve finally got all that I want, now that I’m finally happy, you’re ready to take away everything, and you’re threatening to come between me and the one thing I asked you for, the one thing I’ve cared about since we got here a year ago.”
“You can have everything you want; my only condition is you go live in a dorm. It’s not like you’ll never see Nicholas again. Anyway, I’m sure it wasn’t your idea to move in with him.”
“So what if it wasn’t! I’ve made my decision!” I walked to the other end of the room. “If you make me do this, I’ll never forgive you.”
She seemed not to hear my words. She just crossed her arms and looked at me, utterly convinced that she was right.
“College or Nicholas. You decide.”
I didn’t even need two seconds.
“Nicholas.”