Chapter 6: Kazuha

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"Hey." Wonyoung bounds up behind me, flicking my shoulder. I'm studying the list of clubs tacked to the bulletin board in the main lobby of the school. The final bell just rang, and while most kids are heading to their buses, we're supposed to be on our way to sports study hall before practice.

We've fallen into an easy routine, even just in the week I've been here. I thought some of my teammates would be pissed that I showed up out of nowhere, but they've been mostly really nice. I low-key wonder if the lawsuit my parents have going against my old school has something to do with that, but I try not to think about it too hard.

"Hey yourself," I say, pulling a Pride Club flyer down and shoving the pin back into the corkboard.

"You coming to study hall?"

"I kind of want to check this out," I say, because aside from Yujin, I haven't really met anyone else that's queer like me. Not that it's exactly easy when you're the new kid; you can't just walk up to someone and be like, Hi, I'm super gay. Are you? despite what my mother seemed to think when we FaceTimed last night.

"Ohh, very on brand," Wonyoung says, eyeing the flyer.

"You want to come?"

Her face falls, just for a second. Just long enough for me to catch it. "That's not really my kind of thing," she says, her discomfort cutting me like a knife.

"It says 'allies welcome,'" I press. "Which you are, so—"

"I know, and it's cool and all. I don't have a problem with anyone who goes. It's just not my scene."

"Does Yujin go?"

Wonyoung shakes her head. "Uh, no, her parents are very much 'look the other way and pretend it's not happening' when it comes to who she's dating, and she's pretty quiet about it at school. Plus, I don't know how the team would react if she really put it out there." She says it sort of offhandedly, like she's talking to someone else—not someone queer and on the team.

"What does that mean?"

"Oh!" she says, her eyes getting wide. "I didn't mean you. Nobody feels weird about you or anything! I swear! It's just Yujin is . . . Yujin. We grew up with her. It's different."

"Okay." I'm not really sure how it's different, but also I don't want to lose 50 percent of the friends I've made since moving here over this either.

"We're proud that you're proud, but I'm not proud."

I narrow my eyes.

"I mean, I'm proud of you! Obviously! But I don't have, you know, pride." She whispers the last word, and, ah, okay, I get it.

"I know that you're straight. That's why I pointed out the whole 'allies welcome' thing."

She seems relieved, like maybe she thought I was going to hit on her or try to convert her or something. And even though I'm smiling, inside my stomach hurts. Because why does this always have to be this huge, awkward thing? Just because I like girls doesn't mean I like every girl.

I sigh and spin around to repin the flyer when—like the cherry on top of my solid crap sundae—Kim Chaewon pushes through the throngs of kids around us, and I smack her spectacularly with my track bag.

"Jesus, Nakamura, watch what you're doing," she says as she stomps past. I watch her go, trying to stay annoyed and not care at all that she knows my name. Well, my last name at least. Don't care. Not one bit. Who cares? Not me. Dammit. Why does she have to be so cute?

"Sorry about that," Wonyoung calls after her, like she can actually apologize for someone else.

I shove the pin in a little harder, wishing I could stick a pin in my whole stupid crush. "Is it just me, or is Chaewon perpetually pissed?"

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