Some girls do

Chapter 13: Chaewon

Eunbi smiles when I walk into the studio that she shares with her twin sister, SuA. She has gleaming white teeth and dark hair dyed to hide the gray. Over fifteen years removed from her Miss USA title, and a bit older and softer than she used to be, she's still a force to be reckoned with on the pageant circuit.

"Hello, Chaewon," she says. "You're a little early."

"I know." I duck my head. "I was hoping we could talk."

"Of course. Why don't we talk in my office before your students get here?"

She sets the papers she's holding down at reception desk and heads toward the back.

Eunbi isn't just my pageant coach; she's also sort of my boss. She and her sister run a small but respected business-Eunbi runs the pageant coaching side, and SuA offers ballet and modern dance. There was so much overlap in their clients it just made sense to open up shop together.

I follow Eunbi into the smaller of the two offices-she says it's her curse for being younger-and take a seat across from her.

"What can I do for you today, love?"

"I want to win the county pageant." The words slice out of me, feeling more like an admission of guilt than a declaration of intent. "I was wondering if you'd be willing to do some extra lessons with me if I pick up more classes to work it off. I know I'm barely covering what we already owe you, but I need this."

"May I ask why?"

"I need it to be eligible for state, and I need to win state to get to Miss America." I hate lying to Eunbi, but I can't risk her telling my mother the truth-that while she sees this as an important first step, I see it as an escape hatch on an otherwise sinking ship.

Eunbi shifts forward in her seat, studying my face. I fight the urge to shrink down, conjuring my best pageant posture instead. "You can't bullshit a bullshitter," she says, steepling her hands.

"I'm not," I force out. "I need your help." At least that part's true.

"We both know that's your mom's dream, not yours."

"Please." I can feel it slipping away. The door slamming in my face. No automotive program. No way out. It'll be third-rate mall pageants and county fairs for the rest of my life.

Eunbi sighs. "SuA's assistant is out on maternity leave. I was going to bring on a sub, but if you can be a second set of eyes on the Struts & Strides classes, along with teaching your usual makeup lessons, we can call it even. One private lesson a week plus homework, but you have to mean it, Chaewon. You've been phoning it in for years. If your mother hadn't been one of my best students, I would've dropped you already. I know what you're capable of. I know what's in your DNA. It could all be yours if you wanted it bad enough."

"Yeah." I look down, rubbing at a spot of grease staining the edge of my thumb. How come everybody seems to know what's in my DNA but me?

"Now go get ready. The girls are going to be here soon for your class, and we've got the six-to-eight-year-olds coming in for Struts & Strides after. You stay for both, and we can start your extra lessons next week."

"Deal," I say, shaking her hand. I was planning to go to Hyojong's after, but I'll shoot him a text letting him know I can't. A short-term loss for a long-term gain.