Some girls do

Chapter 12: Kazuha

Sunoo's standing near a woman who looks to be over twenty-five, by what appears to be a hastily arranged bookshelf, when I walk into the center.

Bangchan enthusiastically dropped me off on his way to work, calling me "quite the joiner" and telling me he was "proud of me" and to "get in there and change lives" until it got embarrassing. I essentially had to shoo him out of the parking lot just now. If I'm being honest, though, I maybe didn't totally mind it. I think I needed some positive reinforcement after the way Chaewon played Ping-Pong with my emotions yesterday.

"Kazuha!" Sunoo's face lights up. He sets down a pile of books and comes over to give me a welcoming hug. "You made it!"

"Wouldn't have missed it," I say. "Thanks for inviting me."

"For sure! Um, this is Sakura." He points to the woman, who looks slightly exasperated when a few books fall over beside her. "And, Sakura, this is Kazuha."

"Hi, Kazuha. Sorry, for the mess. We got a pile of new donations this month, and I'm trying to get everything organized." She blows some of her dark brown hair out of her eyes. "It's so nice to finally meet you. Sunoo really talked you up."

"I'd love to help out here however I can." I eye one book in particular that has a boy and a dog on the front covered in what appear to be . . . Post-its? "All these books were donated? That's awesome."

"Yes, we have some very generous patrons. Each book features a main character that falls under the LGBTQ+ umbrella. You're always welcome to borrow the books yourself, if something catches your eye."

"Cool," I say, picking it up. "I definitely will."

"Perfect. I know the end of the year can be stressful on students; it's always good to sneak in some self-care," she says. "The library is available any time we're open, and it's an honor system, so no need to sign them out or anything. We trust you." She leans closer. "And honestly, if some of them don't make it back, we don't mind—as long as they find a good home."

I grin because that's ridiculously cool. I'm the type of person that would 200 percent return every book I borrowed—I don't even crack spines or dog-ear pages—but I'm kind of obsessed with the idea that if a kid really fell in love with one, it would be okay if they kept it forever.

"So, what exactly do you guys do here?" I ask.

"What don't we do?" Sunoo says.

"He's right; we handle a little bit of everything." Sakura shrugs. "Counseling, support, school visits. We help with the establishment of Pride Clubs and Gay Straight Alliances in places that don't have them—Sunoo and I actually set up the one at your school with Ms. Kang. We help put teens in touch with the resources they need if they're in an unsafe living situation. But we also handle Pride Proms and other fun events—"

"It's kind of your one-stop shop when it comes to the gay." Sunoo throws up some finger guns, and I try not to laugh. "Come on, we'll show you around."

I look in each room dutifully as they point out the director's office, the lounge, the kitchen area, the main rooms, the peer counseling space, and the playground in the backyard, like they're trying to convince me how great it is or something. But I already knew before I got here that I was definitely in.

"So what exactly would I be doing as a peer counselor?"

"Peer counselors are students who volunteer here, either for National Honor Society hours, or simply because they want to," Sakura says. "We match them with other teens that we feel would benefit from their experiences—and often it turns into a mutually beneficial match. Our counselors tend to get as much out of it as they give.

"If you're interested, we'd have you study our online handbook, and we'd run a background check, of course. We'll have you sit in on a few sessions with Sunoo or myself until you feel comfortable. Sunoo is our senior peer counselor, so he's always here to help answer your questions or partner with you for a difficult session."

"So we just . . . talk?"

"Sort of," Sunoo says. "Sometimes people come in and just want someone to listen to them. Other times, they want advice. You'll get the feel for it as you go."

Sakura tilts her head. "I actually already have someone in mind I'd like to pair you with. I think it would be an excellent match given both of your histories."

"The football player?" Sunoo asks.

She nods. "We have a boy that comes here every so often, an athlete like yourself."

"He gives us a fake name every time but doesn't seem to remember it, so it's never the same," Sunoo says. "Definitely doesn't go to our school, so who knows how far he travels. Some people come a long way to get here—less of a risk of someone you know seeing you walk in."

"I get it. I hate it, but I get it," I say.

"I think you would be in a unique position to give him advice."

"Yeah," I say. "I really want to find a way to work with student athletes. It's messed up. People don't understand the challenges we face if they haven't lived them."

"Well, I think you'll find working at the center a great first step in your advocacy. You'll be able to get your feet wet helping people one-on-one."

"That sounds great."

"Welcome aboard, then," she says. "Sunoo can get you set up with an online log-in to review all the material. He has an appointment later this afternoon too, if you have time to stay."

"I do," I say, wanting to get going on this stuff as soon as possible, to feel like I'm doing something that matters for once, instead of hiding behind my parents and lawyers.

* * *

Later on, after sitting in on an appointment with Sunoo and this girl Danielle, filling out copious amounts of paperwork, and taking a couple online quizzes, I am officially a peer counselor. I still have to sit in on a few more sessions while we wait for my background check to clear, and Sakura is going to be dropping in on me once I start counseling on my own, but it feels like a big step.

At the end of the day, when my brother gets home with celebratory cake, he gives me the biggest hug.

"What's that for?" I ask when he finally lets me go.

"Nothing," he says. "I'm just glad you're my sister."