Some girls do

Chapter 38: Kazuha

There is a single purple carnation stuck in the spokes of my bike wheel, a piece of paper wrapped around the stem. I sit down on my porch steps, staring at it like it's going to bite me, not sure what else to do.

Bangchan comes out a few minutes later, his coffee mug still steaming, ready for the long workday ahead. "I thought you left. Don't you have a shift at the center?"

"There's a flower in my bike," I say, like that explains it.

"Do you . . . do you need me to get it out for you?" he asks, clearly confused.

"I think it's from Chaewon," I say, still staring at it.

"Ah, okay." He sits down beside me on the steps, and then we both just look at it for a minute, saying nothing.

I glance at him. "Aren't you going to be late for work?"

"It can wait." He takes a sip of his coffee while staring at my bike. "This feels more important."

I let out a sigh. "What do you think the note says?"

"Probably something good."

"Really?"

"You don't hide flowers and notes for people unless it's something good."

"Okay." I nod but don't move from my spot.

"Okay," he agrees, taking another sip of his coffee so calmly, like we both aren't being ridiculous, like we both aren't already late for things and getting later by the second.

I rub my hands together quickly, trying to psych myself up. "I'm going to grab it."

"Good plan."

"Totally going to grab it," I say again, still not moving.

"Smart move."

"I'm doing it." I stand up. "For real."

"Go get 'em, tiger," Bangchan says, and I raise my eyebrows. "Too far?"

"Too far."

"How about 'Godspeed'? Does 'Godspeed' work?"

"That works," I say.

"Godspeed, then."

I jut my chin and march over. My hands tremble as I pull out the flower, nearly dropping the note in the process. Then I run back to the steps.

"Good work, soldier," Bangchan says as I unfold the paper. "What's it say?"

I take a shaky breath, and my eyes scan the words in front of me. "She says I've inspired her, and she wants to talk. She says she understands if I don't want to, but she really hopes I will."

"How do you feel about that?" Bangchan asks.

I rub my thumb over her swoopy handwriting. I can't bear to look away. "I don't know. I miss her so much."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Is there even a point?"

Bangchan nudges me. "There's always a point when you love someone."

"But it doesn't say that. It just says I inspire her, like, me standing by my principles."

"Kazuha, it's a note, not your wedding vows."

I look at him. "But I don't want to inspire her. I want her to be in love with me."

"I can't decide if it's endearing or annoying how obtuse you are." I fold up the note and slip it in my hoodie pocket as Bangchan stands to leave. "You want me to drop you off at the center on my way to the shop?"