Some girls do

Chapter 32: Kazuha

Chaewon and Jimin are arguing when I walk into school. I make a mental note to ask her about it later, giving them a wide berth as I head to my locker. Chaewon has hinted that Jimin knows about us, but since we've still never been formally introduced, it doesn't feel like it's my place to go calm things down between them.

Chaewon was weird all weekend, distant. She still didn't come over, not even after my parents left. I've been sort of freaking out that it was something I did. But seeing Chaewon and Jimin fighting . . . Maybe this has nothing to do with me, or us, at all. Maybe anxiety from the rest of her life is temporarily bleeding into our . . . well, whatever we have. I put on a happy face and pretend it doesn't bother me how much she compartmentalizes all of her relationships.

Chaewon ignores me in fourth period. But then she drags me into the janitor's closet when I'm walking by during sixth. Sixth is my free period, but she has English, and I know she can't afford to be skipping it.

"What are you doing?" I half laugh, expecting her to kiss me or say something along the lines of I couldn't wait to see you. But her face is sad, pinched somehow, like she has a bad taste in her mouth she can't quite shake.

"We need to talk," she says, and my stomach drops. I know from experience that we need to talk often directly precedes this was a mistake, which is then swiftly followed by I don't think I like girls after all.

I wrap my arms around myself, bracing for the worst. "About?"

"There are rumors. About us," she says, looking absolutely panicked now.

"What kind of rumors?"

"You know what kind of rumors," Chaewon says, pulling out her ponytail just to put it back up again. "Have you told anyone? You didn't, right?"

"Huh?" My brain is still trying to process the fact that I might not be getting dumped after all, but this doesn't sound good either.

"Have you told anyone about us? Anyone? Because Jimin is the only person who knew from me, and she swears on her life that she didn't tell anyone." Chaewon takes a shaky breath. Is she going to cry? "But Jimin said she heard stuff on her own and did her best to shoot it down so I wouldn't freak out. If it wasn't her, was it you? You wouldn't do that, right? I know that you know how important this is. I'm an asshole for even asking, but I need to hear it. You didn't tell anyone, right? No one besides your brother knows?"

I shift under the weight of her pleading look. "I mean, not really."

Chaewon looks so shocked, so hurt, my head spins. "Not . . . really? Not really?!"

"A couple of my friends, but they wouldn't—"

"Jesus Christ," she says, turning away from me. "Jesus Christ. Who?"

"A couple friends from Pride Club. That's it. And they would never say anything. I promise."

"Why would you do that? You knew! You knew I . . ." She's practically vibrating. With anger? Anxiety? I take a step toward her, intending to wrap her in a hug, but she darts away. "Who did you tell, Kazuha? Specifically. I need to know."

"Nobody, really. Just, like, Sunoo—"

"Sunoo? My neighbor Sunoo? Fuck. Who else?"

I look away. "I don't know. Yunjin, Yeji, and Seungmin were there too, but they would never tell a soul about us."

"What did you tell them about me? What right did you have?"

"I didn't tell them about you; I told them about us. It's not the same thing! It's not like I outed you or something!"